Probably not a lot of help as you are working with a real editor now, but here are a few thoughts.
Leagues of urban sprawl lay demolished around it
A league is three mile in length, so now your description of the forked road and a tower becomes confused. Adofo and crew can see the tower clearly, but the tower is separated from the road by more than three miles of rubble!
We’ve arrived at the Forlorn Eyrie, Lord.
The Forlorn Tower appears ruined and could fall down on us
Forlorn Tower, or Forlorn Eyrie?
Several passages should exist for every area of the Zar District we borrow into.
Did you mean to write burrow?
Plant one torch in each general direction, like a circle around our perimeter
This doesn’t really describe anything as the expression ‘general direction’ is too vague to mean anything.
I think something more direct would be better: Set up the torches in a circle around us.
Hidden behind the bend at the forked road, rustling swept out of the night.
This is an incomplete sentence, or more precisely the thoughts aren’t connected enough to make sense.
Also I would say ‘behind’ is the wrong word to describe something out of sight around a bend. I also think you are making this one phrase work too hard. You are trying to describe something hidden and the road layout at the same time, and it doesn’t quite work. Additionally describing a sound as hidden doesn’t make sense as sound is invisible.
What about something like...In the distance, where the road forked to the left, a rustling sound growing ever louder could be heard.
Sixty Children of the Sun, equipped in their superior arsenal of cataphract scale armor and satin clothing.
This is another sentence in which the thoughts aren't quite connected enough to make complete sense.
Adofo made out an oncoming horde. An entire patrol quaked the cobblestone path underfoot. Sixty Children of the Sun,
Describing the size of the opposing forces three times in such a small paragraph really slows the pace. As the aim of this paragraph appears to be the sudden appearance of a horde then I would say it needs to be more direct so as to provide more pace to the action.
For example:In the distance, where the road forked to the left, a rustling sound growing ever louder could be heard. Suddenly, from around the bend, sixty Children of the Sun appeared rushing towards them. From the light of the lanterns Adofo could make out that the Children were much better equipped for war than his forces were.
Hidden behind the bend at the forked road, rustling swept out of the night. Another three burning spheres rushed out toward them, rivaling the speed of a running warrior. Unveiled by bright fires, Adofo made out an oncoming horde.
You have described the fork in the road as being close to the Eyrie, but you have described the Eyrie as being surrounded by three mile of rubble. This means the Children of the Sun are having to run for three mile before they engage Adofo.