Da Skullz
Wrtten By : (Boss Ard’Ragger)
Current Location: Who Cares! (we need no stinken' maps!)
Flight Status: Whaagh!
Orc Nob – Roll’Ead flyin’ his recently pilfered Mek customized burna jet ….Crack!, SNAP!…, well he was until all he could see is ground spiraling toward him. Then his radio came to life, a furious Nob Boss yellin'
“..zck..WHAT THE ECK IS HAPPEN’N OVER THERE ?!..zzck”.
Roll’Ead was fast with his response as his Boss is fast with his fists. “Dunno, Boss, I was head’n towards ya and then this…Friggin, Eck!” Roll’Ead’s plane was out of control and heading straight for the ground at a very fast rate indeed.
Madd Boz’fok’er in his own Dakka Jet made a suicide dive after Roll’Ead, He was Roll’Ead’s boss and his sac brother….and he wanted to save the plane. Leave no Nob behind! Was his mantra when he wasn’t killing them for insubordination.
Yelling over the radio “HOLD’ER STEADY YOU FREAKIN NOB!.... GONNA TRY SOMMAT!...RAAAWWR!”
As both planes screamed toward the ground, Speak Freaks dream speed, as it turns out. Madd Boz’fok’er caught up to the stricken plane, pulled up underneath it and “nudged” it. Madd Boz pulled hard on his flight stick and slammed into the other plane, the forces applied should have ripped the planes apart but they managed to stay together, even though pieces of both planes were flying off. With the grinding of metal and pieces of planes falling off Madd Boz was leveling off both planes, while struggling with the new load of another plane added to his own he managed to work the radio,
“GRRRR….Dam you Gretchin, what are you play’n at!? You snot rag runt sac! Get that plane work’n again or you will feed me Boarz, now move it! And you Roll’Ead keep it steady or the same will be for you as well!....GRrrrrrr!”,
Gretchin and Roll’Ead’s responses almost simultanenous, “YES BOZ!”.
Agonizing minutes passes as Madd Boz managed to keep both planes airbourne,
“I don it Boz, …well… I think I don it… try it, TRY IT, eeek!”
“Ok, Roll’Ead pull away without killin me, GOT IT!”,
“Aye Boz !” Roll’Ead resonded.
With another series of scrapes cracks and shudders, both planes began to fly in orky formation.
“Thanks Boz, thought I was a blast crat’er that time”
Madd Boz, “I don’t have that kind of luck! Roll’Ead… now fly that plane or YOU will feed me boarz!”,
Roll'Ead “ *gulp*… Yes Zir, BOSS!”
Madd Boz’Fok’er was the leader of ‘Da Skullz’ a fly boy squawdron whose exploites were quickly getting the attention of the big bosses. Madd Boz was contemplating his latest scheme to steal a plane from the Mekk shop of Muduk Skwadron themselves, not only a plane,but a new creation right off the azzembly line.
“Hate not fight’n proper”, Madd Boz thought, but he needed more planes and nobs to fly’em so he could get to the fights; the hummies, pointies, bugs, wierdos and the lot. More planes meant more teef, more teef meant bribes and bigger fights his boyz can get into, and less chance his boyz would kill him and take over his skwadron. This latest plane that Roll’Ead was fly’n was 36 and now the skwadron would be perfect fight’in size. As long as he can get back to his own skwadron without getting killed and then he can make his skwadron’s chances even better by eliminating the competition. Madd Bozz sighting the horizon thought “Just need to get closer to ‘Da Skulls’ so they can get airbourne”.
Madd Boz’s scheme was simple enough one dakka plane with himself, Roll’Ead and a gretchin from Long T’offs Mek gretchin mob. Fly to the Mek shop, steal the plane and zoom it back before they could get shot down, seemed simple enough, even by ork standards. Took off from Da Skull Field and proceeded en-route to Toof field where one of the Mudruk's Skwadron mek shops was located. Upon landing at Toof Field, Madd Boz started dish’n out discipline when nobs at the air field wanted to take a closer look at his plane, fists and teeth were flyin everywhere. While this was going on around the plane, Roll’Ead and Gretchin climbed out of a service hatch at the end of the plane and piled in to keep the Nobs away from Madd Boz. With boyz limpin’ away with bruises, scars, missing teef, and occational lost limbs, the nobs cleared, teef looted, they then proceeded to the Mek shop at the end of the field. Well you really couldn’t miss the thing if you tried to, it was like a mega factory mated to a hanger for a mega bommer squadron. This place pumped out everything the Mudruk's needed for combat: planes, missles, big boomers, dakka, everything an aspiring fly boy needs. They entered the Mek area of the hanger where they spotted their prize. A brand new, by ork standards, burna plane fully loaded with bombs a rokkits. It was sitting on its launch skid with gretchin all over the plane weld’n plates and finishing touches to the plane, it wasn’t even painted yet! All the beter for Da Skullz.!
The Mek in charge noticed the new comers to his shop, “Wat ye want you scum bag, goff nuts, this is the Mudruk’s shop and ye don’t look like Madruk’s to me!” turning away while the gun he had, a rather large dakka type, was pointed at Mad Boz and a club Mek thingy in the other hand spark'n and looking rather nasty.
Even before he got all his words out Madd Boz raised his rather large Kustom dakka gun and pulled trigger, the bullets entering the back of the Mek boys’ skull and blowing it to pieces. As this was happening one of the gretchins on the plane dropped his tool and it landed on the pallet of burna rokkits ready to be loaded on the next plane, the resulting explosion and burning gretchins, no one took notice that their Mek was shot and slain. The plane was now clear of gretchin and boyz.
Madd Boz yelled to his crew, “Now Roll’Ead, Gretchin get on that plane and fly it outta're! Ill meet you up there, MOVE IT!”
Madd Boz yellin over the explosions at the same time avoiding secondary fuel explosions and ordance flying everywhere. Roll’Ead nodded his head and ran for the plane carrying the Grethchin by the scruff. Madd Boz, managed to get clear of the hanger and made a run for his own plane. Roll’Ead and Gretchin climbed on board and began the start-up sequence of the plane.
The Gretchin squaked over the radio “ummm…boss…I don’t thin….”,
Roll’Ead didn’t even let the Gretchin finish “Don’t think, get the plane started, runt sac, now MOVE!”
Gretchin sqeaked “YESSS BOSS!”.
The whine of the new engines was incredible, sounded like like a thousand boyz yelling at the same time. Roll’Ead punched the throttle all the way, BOOOM!, the plane exited the hanger like the bullet from a dakka gun.
“WHaaaaaaaaGH, Arrrrrgh, this plane is fast! ...ha ha ha” the elated Roll'Ead roared.
The plane skimmed the ground for several seconds, decapitating some of the boyz outside the hanger and sent dozens more sprawling for cover. Then Roll’Ead pulled back on the stick and the newest burna jet was airborne. The Mudruks busy with putting out the fire in their ‘anger didn’t even get a shot off at the stolen plane.
Then Roll’Ead’s radio came to life, “zzzzk… Roll’Ead WHERE ARE YOU RUNT!, get over to my position now… zzzk”.
Roll’Ead and the Gretchin looked for Madd Boz, Grethchin spotted him and guided Roll’Ead toward their boss for intercept. CLUNK!, SNAP! ,
”FRIGGIN ECK!... What now!” grunted Roll’Ead.
His plane suddenly pitched toward the ground and nothing Roll’Ead could do, could bring the plane back to a level flying position.
Then the radio squaked, “TOLD YA! TOLD YA!...” screamed Gretchin in the back turret.
Roll’Ead was in no mood for “know it all” runts. “TOLD ME WHAT, RUNT! Remember who you are snot bag!”
“Planes not finished, NOT FINISHED! Awwwwwww” squeaked Gretchin.
Furious Roll’Ead responded, “ARRRGH…BY MORK FINISH IT OR YOU WILL MEET HIM BY GORK!”
horrified Gretchin, “eeeck, yes ssir boss!”
Then the radio buzzed to life Madd Bozz Fok’er furious, “zzzk…WHAT the ECK happenin' over there…”
CHAPTER 2 – Finders Keepers ...
