You've taken me back to the old Rogue Trader rulebook with the section on Eldar Pirates with that piece of artwork.
I think that you capture the rogue nature of the female pirate rather well with that. The Jetbike looks very sleek, and the sword is also a nice touch. The only thing that perhaps could do with a bit of work is the footwear, which strikes me as being out of place. Even a female pirate would, most likely, have standard mesh flat heeled boots, I think.
As for the aspects of the work that you think need re-doing, I'm not so sure. You could go for more slender features in places, but I quite like the artist's licence that you have used.