Give Peace A Chance is copyrighted by John Lennon/ Get Crunk is copyrighted by Lil Jon
The Mission
It was night in the dusty plains of Sicher’s Plateau, far to the north of Linthicum. Cold winds blew fiercely across the desolate land, creating storms of dust that were as effective as any downpour or heavy fog. For as far as the eye could see, which wasn’t far, there was nothing but barren land. The sand was a dark red interlaced with splotches of black, a cousin of the Wastes down south. Unlike the Wastes however, Sicher’s had living plant life, though the only flora was the occasional colony of hardy shrubs whose brittle branches swayed madly in the wind constant wind. Animal life was limited to the small reptiles that nested in between the shrubs spindly trunks and the mutated vultures and Threnodies that fed on them. Neciea were also present, though in the winter months they were far less likely to show their locust like visages save to devour the random creature or man that strayed into their underground lairs.
One such Threnody, an infant, stood alone in the darkness above a rotted carcass. Harsh winds battered against its scaly hide but the creature didn’t mind, content as it was gnawing placidly on the bones of another of its kind, overcome by old age. The creature was rooting around with its snout in the carcass for a large bone with which to chew upon when a distant roar snapped its head up. The Threnody stared out with serpent’s eyes in the direction of the rumble which seemed to be closing with every passing second. Letting out a short growl the Threnody turned to face the sound and prepared to defend its meal. The roar grew and grew until two white dots of light became visible. Its jaw clenched as the creature was bathed in light and its sickle claws were twitched anxiously. Over the roar the Threnody could make out an odd rhythmetic sound, not unlike its own mating call.
“…Well get crunk, snake on a plane, get crunk, east side nigga Uh get crunk, snake on a plane, get crunk, west side nigga Uh get crunk, snake on a plane, get crunk, north side nigga…”
Knowing that the trespasser in its territory was most likely a large female but hoping against hope that it would deem itself worthy for mating, the Threnody bounded off into the darkness just as a truck emerged from the swirling sand.
‹•›
“What the hell…?” Vaughan whispered as a terrible roar reached his ears over the engine and the blaring music. He turned to look at Brandis who was staring wide-eyed and open mouthed out the front window.
“Brake!” He cried when he saw something emerge from the swirling dust.
Vaughan ignored his passenger’s advice and gunned the engine. Half a second later he glimpsed a reptilian animal charging blindly into their headlights before it disappeared underneath the truck with a meaty thud that shook the cabin violently. Still, despite the collision with a hundred and fifty pound creature made entirely of steely muscle and toughened bone, the truck continued uncaringly on into the dusty night.
“Truck beats bug.” He said obviously satisfied with the crushing of the plateaus’ wildlife.
Brandis glanced over to his chaos worshipping driver. “You’re an idiot.” He spoke whilst shaking his head.
Though relatively unscathed by the impact the truck did not continue for soon after crushing the animal a long and terrible wail of pain reached their ears from beneath their leather seats. The two men exchanged knowing glances and with a sigh Vaughan brought the truck to a halt. He shut off the engine and pocketed the keys. Brandis fished a flashlight from the passenger compartment exited. Clutching a high powered assault rifle close to his chest Vaughan stepped out of the warm cabin and into the chilly night.
Outside Vaughan took a few steps and found himself alone in the endless expanse. The truck that was barely two feet from him was nearly obscured by the grains of sand carried by bitterly cold winds. He took a hand from the barrel of his rifle and covered his eyes as a beam of light burst into life and illuminated his feet.
“Is it down there?” Vaughan asked knowing full well the answer. The creature was mewling and growling like crazy and showed no sign of letting up. Setting his rifle against the truck Vaughan knelt down and peered underneath the truck. Brandis stared back at him whilst trying to doge a wickedly shaped claw that kicked out at him every few seconds.
“Looks like one of its claws is stuck up in there.” He grunted as he tapped the creature’s scaly hide. “I’ll put a round in its dome and we can pull it out.” He finished as he pulled out his piece and leveled it at the creature’s crying maw.
“Wait, stop.” Vaughan started. “You can’t kill it.”
Brandis rolled his eyes. “Why not, Vaughan?”
“Cause you can’t.” He replied impertinently as he tried to determine how to best dislodge the Threnody without endangering himself.
The creature’s front right limb was caught in the top of the engine. Deftly he lowered himself on his belly and crawled underneath the car. Brandis scoffed at the suicidal behavior, ‘when it bites off your damn face’ he muttered. Vaughan ignored him and stopped just outside the creatures reach. The Threnody had ceased its cries of pain and reverted to threatening growls when it realized something large was bearing down upon it. I’ll have to be careful, he thought as he reached out for the limb. Just because he didn’t feel like killing the creature didn’t mean he wanted to afford the creature a chance to kill him. Cautiously he extended his hand, pulling it back as the Threnody lashed out with its sickle claw and then reaching forth to apprehend the attacking limb. The night was cold but sweat still ran down Vaughan’s neck.
“Alright I got one of its legs.” He announced.
The leg, steely and long thrashed violently in his grip and the canine head made deep rumblings, threats of harm to come. Keeping his grip on the other leg firm he reached out to take hold the other as Brandis moved to secure the main body. Gently, Vaughan tugged on the stuck leg and much too both men’s surprise the limb came free. The threnody realizing that it had use of its limb again lashed out at Vaughan causing him to release his hold while he pushed himself back with his arms. The creature let out a vicious roar and dragged Brandis underneath the car until he was forced to let go. The Threnody howled again and began clawing its way out from underneath the car, straight towards Vaughan.
“Now you can shoot it!” He cried as he felt dagger like claws dig into his back.
‹•›
“…and that’s why we don’t beslubber around with animals.” Brandis spoke wryly.
Vaughan was too busy steadying himself in the bouncing vehicle and bandaging his back with white gauze pads to pay the Nord any mind. Deep gouges had been dug out of his back when the creature ran over him and though he wasn’t about to tell his rather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean? squad mate part of his ass had been…damaged. Earlier back under the truck he’d thought his life was about to end in one of the more messily ways possible. He imagined the creature’s teeth bearing down on his skull, crushing it whilst straining to remove it from the rest of his body. Fortunately the creature seemed uninterested in fighting two wildly shouting human beings and had instead crawled rapidly over him before disappearing into the night. Silently he muttered a prayer of thanks to Tzneetch for having allowed him to witness another morning.
“I mean there’s just something generally wrong about trying to rescue the dominant predator on the planet…” Brandis continued.
That was perhaps speaking too soon, he realized. Morning was still several hours off and the Lord of Change was nothing if not capricious. Silently he added an oath to not put himself in harm’s way any more than was necessary. Thinking of his chaotic patrons he inadvertently reached up to caress the tender flesh where his eight-pointed star had once been. He resented being forced to remove the tattoo but understood the reasoning behind it. After all it wouldn’t do anyone any good if the Space Marines, holy though they may be, were to find out there were chaos worshippers in the ranks of Zmey чорний. Actually he was the only chaos worshipper, so far as he knew, as his sincere attempts at introducing others to his beliefs generally ended up with his sanity being questioned. Such was the life of a true believer.
It was Cyrillic who’d ordered his mark removed; the day after Sven had bombed the Marine’s camp. He’d managed to put the deed off for a good while and it wasn’t until just after Irminsul that Naves had taken a scalpel to his face and removed the tattoo. Personally he’d been hoping to dig up a cosmetic surgeon to do the job but two months later Cyrillic felt he’d been disobeyed and decided punishment was in order. For three hours Naves had stood over him, his face inches from his, gently slicing away. Truthfully Vaughan hadn’t minded the proximity of the guy so much, despite that he was gay, as he did the removal of his sacred icon. That had been a gift from Brother-Larago of the chaos legions in recognition for saving his life, so many years ago, long before his conscription into Zmey чорний, back when he was proudly serving the legions of chaos. Fortunately he’d not been forced to be rid of the flesh itself and he kept it in a tiny leather-bound satchel at his waist.
“Vaughan, amphetamine parrot for brains, you listening to me?”
“What?” He said awakening from his reverie.
“Where the beslubber are we headed?”
Vaughan paused in his bandaging to pick up a glowing GPS device that was lying on the cabin floor. His back ached as he reached down and streams of blood trickled from the animal’s gouges. He pressed a few buttons and the screen zoomed in on a grid that showed a single building out in the midst of nowhere. He scrolled down a few grids and located a fast moving vehicle speeding upwards. Between the truck and the building there weren’t that many grids left.
“Seer. Old man Bonnaro.” He said setting the GPS on the dashboard.
“Who the beslubber is that?”
“Seer, he predicts the future and amphetamine parrot.”
“What do we need him for?”
Vaughan shifted in his seat to better regard his driver. “Cyrillic didn’t tell you?”
Brandis shook his head. “Nah he told me to pick you up and that you’d know all the details. Told me to listen to you and we’d be good.”
“Really, he said that?” Vaughan asked, slightly confused his be-atch of an overseer had praised him.
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
A tiny ping emanated from the GPS device and Vaughan picked it back up. He consulted the glowing screen to see that the two objects were in the same grid and was fast closing. Only a few hundred feet left separating the two. Brandis glanced over and Vaughan motioned for him to keep driving. He nodded and Vaughan felt the engine lurch a little as it sped up. Forgetting his wounds, past and present, Vaughan pulled his black blouse over his bare body and took hold his rifle. Deftly he checked that the weapon was loaded and ready and seeing that it was, attached a sling and threw it over his shoulder. Just as he finished Brandis brought the truck to a sudden halt, jolting both men a few inches off their seats. The truck skidded over the uppermost layer of dirt before coming to a halt in front of an abandoned house.
“This it?” Brandis asked.
Vaughan nodded his head and switched the safety off.
“Anything I should know about?”
“Just follow my lead.”
Vaughan stepped out of the car for the second time that night and gazed up at the dark figure that loomed above him. The figure was an office building, originally constructed by Connex as a workplace for upper management types who were to oversee, officially, the construction of roads that were supposedly soon to follow. The two men had driven along those roads which had come up about thirty miles short of their destination. Unofficially however, the place had been a front for an R&D lab that had the Mechanicus discovered it, if of course they ever came back to Kiev, would have thrown a serious fit over. Hundreds of meters beneath the surface Connex had been dabbling in AI research and it was rumored, discovered several interesting facts about the so called ‘machine spirit’. Fortunately for the Mechanicus research had abruptly stopped back in 55 and the building was abandoned. Now seventy years and dusty abuse later the three story Connex research lab was in disrepair. Every window had been shattered, the entrance doors knocked down, and the halls unlit. Below the surface however the labs were probably in the same state as they had been when first abandoned but no one knew how to access the vaults that led down to them. Few actually knew this of course, Zmey чорний and by extension Vaughan and Brandis, who were not around during a time when companies weren’t state run, least of all. Fortunately the two men’s duties didn’t require them to travel into the AI’s realm. Their quarry was upstairs.
Vaughan heard footsteps and turned to see Brandis had joined him at his side. Like him he was garbed in black fatigues and his rifle hung from a similarly black strap. The baby-faced Nord looked at him, winked and began walking towards the building. Vaughan listened to the sound of boots scuffling against dirt for a few seconds and then hurried to join him.
The two men stepped cautiously through the frames of the broken glass doors, rifles at the ready and into the lobby. The place was almost pitch black but Vaughan could just make out a reception desk and to the right of that a flight of stairs that would take them upwards. With quick hand gestures he instructed Brandis to head up them. He complied swiveling his rifle round and making for the stairs as silently as possible. Stealth was of the essence for if any meandering animals of the predatory kind were around they’d not want to alert it to their presence. Hindering them was the floor covered in debris but both were trained in night movement and they managed to cross the floor with a minimum of noise.
Vaughan found the dark unsettling. As he climbed the stairs he fancied he could hear the sharp clicking of a Threnody claw against concrete. Sweat poured down his neck and he uttered a prayer to Khorne that his reflexes be quick and his aim true. Had one of those reptilian animals broken in and devoured Bonnaro? He couldn’t be sure so he continued on. They continued their ascent until they reached a broken door hanging off its hinges that allowed access to the third floor. By then the clicking sound, while still barely audible, seemed to beat like wild drums in both men’s ears. Slowly Vaughan motioned for Brandis to get behind him and the Nord happily complied. Mustering every bit of composure he could Vaughan stepped through the doorway and into an office proper. He strained his eyes barely making out the vertical forms of columns and a few tables scattered around.
Vaughan heard air exhale and he glared back at Brandis. The Nord gestured his apologies and letting out a silent breath he delved deeper into the room. Shadows formed and the clicking grew louder as he went in. Then Vaughan’s boot made the slightest of crunches and the clicking stopped. Both men froze, unwilling to move lest they give away their position completely. For several agonizingly long seconds the two listened for the tell-tale click. Once those few seconds of agony had passed Vaughan risked moving his head. Off to his left was the outline of a door and to the right was open space. In front of them led to the shattered windows that should a Threnody give chase they could jump out of.
Vaughan heard a whisper, near non-existent. “Here?” Brandis asked.
He nodded his head when a voice deep and relatively ear shattering spoke, “The Null Kin-
“AHHHH!”
BANGBANGBANGBANGBAN GBANGBANGBANGBANGBA NGBANGBANGBANG!
