Sorry if I'm repeating a joke, but only had time to get throught the first three pages of this thread. Will catch up later. Please enjoy these:
Arnold Schwartzenegger has a big one;
Michael J. Fox's is rather small;
Mickey Mouse has a somewhat unusual one;
Liberachi never uses his;
Bill Clinton uses his all the time;
Madonna doesn't have one.
What is it?
A string walks into a bar. The bartender snarls at him, "We don't serve strings in here!" Furious, the string steps outside, ties himself up, messes up his hair, and calmly walks back into the bar.
Suspiciously, the bartender says to the string, "Aren't you a string?" To which the string indignantly replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"
Q: How do you make Holy Water?
A: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephant coming?
A: Here comes the elephant.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon.
Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey and a plum is purple.
Q: Why are pigmies so short?
A: Because they stand under the cherry trees between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon.
Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephant coming?
A: Here comes the plum. She was color-blind, y' know.
Q: How do you catch a polar bear?
A: You cut a hole in the ice and surround the circle with peas. Now, run and hide, watching from a safe distance. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.
Q: What kind of cheese isn't your?
A: Nacho cheese.
Three blondes walk into a bar. Their brunette friend ducks.
A blonde was walking along the side of a river when she sees another blonde walking toward her on the opposite side. The first blonde yells to the second blonde, "How do you get to the other side?" The second blonde yells back, "You are on the other side."
Edited for spelling. NH