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Main => Art & Fiction => Topic started by: -Makenshi- on April 12, 2005, 04:57:40 PM
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(https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy117%2FMTWC%2FFiannadhhead.jpg&hash=4a936bbfc8f87da7f2ec11743136b10a424a4cb7)
What do you guys think? It's a character in a story I'm coming up with (non-Warhammer, it's my own world).
Also, this is pretty much my first attempt at drawingr...
P.s. Beware what you say here Seer Fox *narrows eyes*.
~MTWC
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What? It just an elf, nothing to get all uppity about.
Ciat,
Seer Fox
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What? It just an elf, nothing to get all uppity about.
Ciat,
Seer Fox
Want me to lock you out of your profile this time Seer ;)?
Seriosuly though I need critique on this, so far I ahve the following:
Falhandir
"The neck is too detached, it looks like it's behind the character. You need to widen the neck and make the jaw line less steep. The far ear looks lik it shouldn't be seen, it looks out of place as it is, and the near ear looks furry and leaflike. The far freckling is angled wrong, twist it slightly counter clockwise. I'm not too happy about that jaw line, there's nothing wrong with it it just doesn't ... sit easy. The hair's great, very dynamic."
I'd rather have responses like these if possible, it wont improve if I don't get suggestions. I'm going to follow pretty much all the advice there and update tomorrow so any help before i do so woudl be greatly apreciated ;D.
~MTWC
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Have you drawn from life or photograph before? If you really want to capture the manga look, get the porportions of real people down, then from there stylization flows naturally without lookin' fan-arty.
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what did you draw it with Makenshi?
the proportions are wrong and the hair looks a little unnatural but otherwise it seems like a pretty decent first attempt. :D
and im not just some idiot who thinks he can draw and criticize, im actually quite good at drawing people and monsters. just so you know.
meh, Tubsy McOwnage
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Alternatively from Pikachu's suggestion, you have as much to gain (on the short term) by choosing a specific artist's or series' anime style and using it as reference. Now, for the crit... character design is a difficult task, so I support your attempt, especially for someone who claims not to be any sort of an artist.
My harshest comment is this; she (I assume via the filename not by looks, but that comes later) isn't very distinct. There's little about her that makes her stand out from any other given character that could be in the background of any given scene. My suggestion from this is to decide her distinguishing visual characteristics and make a short list of them on the side of your page. These can be used to guide your mind as your hand does the dirty work of drawing. I'm not sure why but it's almost always worked for me.
General observations: She seems gaunt. The face as a whole is probably a bit thin, and her ears should probably be slightly further back. The comment relating to the further ear depends on the angle that they hang and how long they are. The comment about the closer ear can be fixed by raising the ridge line higher and cleaning your lines up on the whole.
The cheek marks need to be reconsidered. Much like the comic book-style nose hashing that was popular for a while, the cheek marks are intended to provide a bit of contour to the otherwise flat shape of the face, so you have to be careful about where you position them or the skin will appear to bend in an unusual way.
The curve of the cheek and jaw is slightly off. the further edge of the cheek seems far too flat and the chin too pointy. This is probably adding to the gaunt look.
Be careful of the thickness of the brows. This combined with the complexity of the eye is a good determining factor in anime of the gender of the character. A thinner brow and complex eye is more feminine. The further eye appears slightly too short, I think if you extended it further inward just a hair and have the same downward curve that is on the other, it would look much better.
I'd simplify the mouth some and raise it. The chin dimple seems unnecessary, if the character is female though as I suspect, you could raise it closer to the mouth and have it be the bottom edge of the lower lip.
The last comment I can make at the moment is about the neck, it probably could stand to be a bit thicker, so I'd move the right edge closer to the chin. Anyway, I hope all that's helpful.
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Thanks for the help, although I don't want to mess with this oen too much, it works best as a rough Race guide. I've started a nother one which I'll try to put more character into.
Anyway, here's the modified version:
(https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy117%2FMTWC%2FFiannadhhead2.jpg&hash=d95505a63175a098aeeeb885dc0ebf299edec0f7)
Oh and Fuyunohi, yes she is a she ;) so you got it right.
~MTWC
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I still think the mouth could be a bit higher, but it's ok ;).
Here's my character, see what you think.
(https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy93%2FAsurael%2FAsurael.jpg&hash=ed7a5ea00325e035c9f3d30c522384f9b7afb87c)
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That's a pretty nice anime elf drawing. But since you asked for criticism- the ears are still a bit off I would say, they should be slightyly higher and angled steeper (IMO). I'm also not sure of the s"slit" you have for the hole in the ears. Overall, good job.
EDIT: OOOOOOoo not elf, my bad. In that case it's cool.
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That's a pretty nice anime elf drawing. But since you asked for criticism- the ears are still a bit off I would say, they should be slightyly higher and angled steeper (IMO). I'm also not sure of the s"slit" you have for the hole in the ears. Overall, good job.
Not supposed to be 'Elves', my own race for a different world, hence why the ears are how they are, deliberately angeled.
Thanks for the comments ;D.
~MTWC
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You've made a race of people that look just like humans, but with their ears on their jaw?
I suspect you mean something else.
At least explain why their ears are lowered?
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Hmm, didn't notice that, although it's how it's drawn in the manga book I used as a refferences, although they do riduculously big ears...
~MTWC
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Good improvements all around, except for the aforementioned comments about the ear and the height of the mouth, which could probably still be raised slightly.
The standard proportional measurement (and height location) for the human ear is from the eye to the nose. I think the size of the ear in the first picture was perfect, it just seems too thin in the second picture. If you were going for something more animalistic, I'd make them much longer and give them a bit of a droop or fold, like a dog's ear. Also as commented there isn't a real separation between the ear and jaw. I'm pretty sure I commented on that the first time, but maybe I didn't explain it very well. Here's a visual example of what I'm talking about.
(https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.magusstudios.com%2Fjcv%2Flocke.gif&hash=cd737923fafa3a64d15914201ceb3b97e49bd607)
I apologize for the quality of this image but it's the first doodle of mine I found with pointy ears, so it's what I grabbed. Anyway, although the jaw line is similarly hidden by a lock of hair (and is at firmer angle being a male character), you can see the distinct bend of the jaw line before the ear. I believe the upper line of the ear in your drawing also probably goes too far forward and makes matters worse. Oh, and I think I forgot to say this before, but be sure to make a drawing from a direct forward view to further clarify the details of the ear. You can use that to better show how far the ears stick out from the head and at what angle.
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I;ve said before that they are deliberately small, I don't like huge elf ears, it just seems weird.
Thanks for your input though ;D.
~MTWC
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www.errantstory.com has some good pics of a 'half-elf' style. Might help. If not it's a pretty fun comic anyway.
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www.errantstory.com has some good pics of a 'half-elf' style. Might help. If not it's a pretty fun comic anyway.
Hmm, it looks liek a pretty good, reasd I'll ahve to bookmark it and read up on it later. How many issues are there?
Cheers ;D.
~MTWC
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A lot. 12 chapters and counting there's been an average of 3 pages a week since Nov 2002 I think...
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Dear God I love that comic ;D seriously, lewdness, idicoy, sarcasm and serisouneess all rolled up into one :D.
Nice artwork too, it should help with my drawings, thansk foo alerting me to it.
~MTWC
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I;ve said before that they are deliberately small, I don't like huge elf ears, it just seems weird.
Thanks for your input though ;D.
~MTWC
I applogize. When you said small and I saw the changed drawing, I believed you meant slender, and the other suggestions were merely to help further seperate your race from elves, which you made it clear they were not.
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Not supposed to be 'Elves', my own race for a different world, hence why the ears are how they are, deliberately angeled.
the ears are too low,the chins too sharpe,the necks too thin ,ect,ect ;)
IF
i were comparing it to humans/elves but as you say it's a different race,so basically anything goes
if your creating a new species the only thing you need worry about is .
does it look cool/good?
IMHO if this is your first real attempt at drawing , 8)
you should keep it up as i think you've got the skill to produce better and better pics if you practice ;)