Topic: Procrastination Tavern

[Vespasian Swiper]

In the middle of a forgotten desolate continent, on a world that is vaguely remembered by Ace Rimmer for being the site of the greatest smoked kippers in any dimension, there is a building.

It stands alone, the continent long abandoned by its former inhabitants, with some unspeakable nasties crawling the woods and ruins each night.

The building is large, there are no visible small points, the facility is placed behind 20 foot tall electrified fences, behind the fence, by 60 or so metres and a selection of Tarantula sentry guns a large entrance stands - re-inforced bulkhead doors infront of a 'Welcome' mat. Over the bulkhead doors is a sign 'Procrastination Tavern'.

The doors open slowly and you enter a decontamination area, where jets of hot air hits you.

You stand there for a few seconds as a lone CCTV camera watches you, the decontamination door opens and you enter a large entrance hall. A man stands behind the bar, cleaning glasses, he wear's a battered black Kriegsmarine jacket, a Luigi hat and a t-shirt with 'Always with the Negative Waves, Moriarty' scribbled cross it in red permenant marker.

To your right are a couple of foosball tables, air hockey, a juke box, and other arcade and amusement machines. There is a lift with 'Reservations' above it and a place to swipe your card.

To your left is a seated dining area and a large number of comfy chairs and tables.

The man watches you and then smiles and points at a selection of models behind the bar, "Welcome to the Procrastination Tavern, run by me, Swiper. Behind me are models of the past Taverns, some loathed, some reverred and the rules here are simply. Don't smash anything deliberately, don't start fights with each other - unless its Serious Business, and don't antagonise the...," he points at a selection of photographs near the foosball tables, "finest foosball players the Universe has ever seen..."




*Before anyone asks... I asked a mod a while ago on this, Jimbo, so don't get too stupid guys I know its a Tavern thread... but we don't want it going the way of the Titanic now do we?*

Also no smashing holes in everying without PMing me first... I want some semblance of order here...

So 'game on' I guess...

[Tyranid_Wannabe]

Tyranid_Wannabe walks through the door. His entry is greeted with howls and whistles of applause like that from an incredibly bad eighties american sitcom soundtrack.

"Oh dear swipey, I give this tavern 12 posts before it becomes abandoned like the majority of other taverns"

He then scanned the room, observing his new surroundings. T_W then made a beeline for the bar, squeezing through the crowd of one to get to the bar. For a while he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it. After helping himself to a drink he walked up to Swiper - the lone individual.

"I see you have a jukebox. I seem to remember that long ago that our goal was to get back our jukebox from a past age. I'll give you two pickled eggs and a zucchini for it"

[Vespasian Swiper]

Swiper nodded, "It may well be abandoned by the rest, by the naysayers and the cowards who are too new to think they are welcome to post... I'll accept nothing less than The Fabled Purple Fruit, or a trade for a soundsystem of my choice..."

[Spotted zebra]

I walk into the tavern, but through the back door, unseen by most, except for swipey.

"Damn gun-babies.... just lost my last pack of Lho sticks in a game of flak-board darts..." I say as I buy myself a shot of Squig beer.



*out ofcharacter*and im damn well old enough to post in this tavern thread you know that! 

[Vespasian Swiper]

Swiper shook his head, "I really need to have that well concealed door defended by claymores..."

He scans the new man with a Blackberry, "Welcome Spotted Zebra, make yourself at home, and feel welcome. I believe that the Lionger is somewhere south west of here today..."

[Calamity]

A deep rumble is heard.  The Tavern begins to shake as though an earthquake was occurring.  There is the roar of a massive engine outside, and the sound of heavy grinding tracks.  The unseen force slows to a halt.  Then, a booming voice:

''SWIPER!!!!!  IT'S LAND RAIDER TANGI!!!!!  YOU GOT MY COOKIES YET?!!!!

...because you did promise me cookies, remember?

...or do I have to open up with the lascannons?

[Nomsheep, the Modhunter.]

ninjaing careully into the tavern is nomsheep, here soley for some refeshing beverages and a land raider demanding cookies could be fun.

[Sanctjud]

-I'll post a serious post in a bit... k, thx, bye. 

-Sanct.

[Tyranid_Wannabe]

"Fabled purple fruit hey. Sounds tasty. Have you an idea where to find such a fruit?"

T_W then looked about and noticed the bar was beginning to get busy, never good with only one bartender. He needed to stock up on drinks so sobriety would not kick in as he waited in the queue.

He then lent over to Swiper. "On the other hand what sort of sound system were we after. I do know of a place of a particularly good boom box. I think we can look it up on google earth that things so big"

[Vespasian Swiper]

Swiper pressed the outside tannoy system button, "Tangi they will be on their way shortly..." *Tangi on the afternoon of June 1st after my last exam you shall recieve your cookies via Royal Fail!*

"TW, I believe the fabled purple fruit lies somewhere out in the wasteland, equally the wasteland is a dangerous place, hence this massive fortified Tavern. As for the sound system, find it on Google Earth, one word of warning that pc in the corner was left here by the previous owner and it has Vista and Linux on it..."

[Tyranid_Wannabe]

"Wait what a hybrid, its unduly complicated and it doesn't work. I like a challenge. One should look on the positive side of things, at least its not a Mac."

T_W then moved over towards the ancient cream beast that was the computer in the tavern. He turned on the ancient construct which instead of being hooked up to a power point was instead hooked up to a fixed bicycle.

"Oi who wants to jump on and provide some power for this thing whilst we look up naughty pictures and listen to some awesome tunes and ......... er Swiper it seems our monitor is someone drawing pictures in a cardboard box. Still I like a challenge.

[Calamity]

Tangi bellowed back:

''1st of June?  Excellent!  I shall take my leave now, and return to my shed, to await the vist from Royal Fail!''

Tangi powers down the sponson weapons, then reserves away from the tavern:

Beep!  Beep!  Beep.......

Unfortunately, he reserves over a parked car and gets stuck at an angle.  Tangi immediately abandons the Tank and flees into the night.

[Vosrik]

*strides in and walks up to the counter* So, how's this game supposed to work, exactly? What's the point of it?

And, I'll have a root beer, Swiper, please.

[Nomsheep, the Modhunter.]

there was a point behind this game, ahhhh' the concept is too much

[Vespasian Swiper]

Swiper hands over a root beer, "The point? Well generally there is a rough plot that the guy incharge comes up with and this becomes a place for general buffoonery and action as the Tavern sprawls several games and little cliques... just look at the older tales to see how they pan out..."

[Essentially... have a laugh, and then move into the realms of jokey action adventure...]

[Calamity]

The grease monkey who opperates Land Raider Tangi quietly shuffles through the front door into the tavern.

''Er, could I use your phone real quick?'' he asks nervously.

[Nomsheep, the Modhunter.]

nomsheep walks up behind and taps him on th eshoulder, i'll lend this phone if you do something for me

[Calamity]

The monkey is heisitant, but inquires, as he really needs to contact the AA:

'OK, what?'

[Farseer Arendil]

Inquisitor Lord VK strolls casually into the tavern, casting a wary eye for hidden Pedobears.  "I would like a cream soda if you don't mind.  Also if you see any Pedobears, please call the Ordo Pedobearus at 1-800-KILL-PEDO."  Looking about, he facepalms at the stuck Land Raider.

[Tyranid_Wannabe]

"Hey fellas, tis time for a quest. The treasure we seek is the Fabled purple fruit. A great and noble prize so that I can trade it to Swiper so I get his jukebox. Know for those whom do not know the red dragon tavern went on a noble quest to receive a new jukebox after someone broke the old one. Needless to say this glorious quest came to a cataclysmic end when it never got finished... twice. So if yea be brave and up for adventure then volunteer for a quest filled with a moderate amount of peril, a huge serving of danger and a sprinkle of jeopardy. Do I have brave men assembled before me?"

T_W stopped to let this all sink into the mismatched crowd that stood before him

"Now some may ask whats in it for them, name your price for I shall pay for it out of my very own non existent pockets"

T_W then turned to Swiper. "Now where abouts is this fabled purple fruit again??"