Well, until you give us your fluff, I can't really comment - some of the things you have in your army may be fluffy but marginal choices - so I want to know if they are backed up by your fluff before I knock them.
Personally, I would think about dropping points, not adding them. For example, I doubt a vindicare will ever make its points back, due to his weapon still, for the most part, only wounding as a sniper rifle. Consider that he's the same price as 10 ratlings...
As well, you cannot attach a commissar to conscritps unless it is an indpendant commissar, in which case his price is wrong. As well, if he is an IC, a powerfist is probably not the best choice, as it makes him go last, he can be picked out, and you don't want him in base-to-base anyway because if he dies, the conscripts will likely run.
What are the roles of the inquisitor and the command squad?
Why voxes in your commands when none of your squads can use them as they don't have any? Besides, you really don't have enough infantry to need voxes.
Your list seems low on numbers and low on fire power - especially anti-tank fire power.
You should probably put that the remnants have carapace - you have paid for it, and they need to take it. As well, put them up with your platoon - they are part of it, after all.