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Author Topic: Kill the above Poster game  (Read 266578 times)

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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9920 on: October 14, 2011, 10:59:47 AM »
For some reason I was thinking fist of the north star... uh,this one is Red Dragon? And here's one that I'll be amazed if you ever get.
Nope, it came out of my own head... Scary stuff.

And yes, you just stumped me on that one... Your egotic smugness inflate so fast that you explode in a shower of gory meat all over the place, because it is well known that we special people can do and see things normal people can't.

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9921 on: October 14, 2011, 12:17:18 PM »
"They Crawl" a bad, bad B-movie about killer earth worms. Try this one.

I scare you terribly. So bad you have to run away and hide in the bathroom! You got so scared your about to mess your pants. It's so bad you barely make it to the toilet. You should've paid more attention because I left a little daemon down there. He eats you, it's probably best if I just not show the details of that and instead show the trailer rocking while you scream horribly.
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9922 on: October 14, 2011, 09:46:36 PM »
Ghoulies?

An infamous vampire's vampire dog is unleashed upon you while you and family innocently enjoy some weekend camping. You happened to bring your own dog with you, and the monster turn it into a terrifying blood sucking spawn, and so forth... You get your throat bitten off by your overzealous (and very thirsty) puppy.

   Straky
« Last Edit: October 14, 2011, 09:49:05 PM by Starrakatt, LolDeer of Doom »

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9923 on: October 16, 2011, 02:42:22 AM »
You nailed it, good job! I however, am stumped

I fold you in half 19 times.
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Offline Cortez

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9924 on: October 17, 2011, 12:49:38 AM »
I fold you in quarters.

53 times.
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9925 on: October 17, 2011, 08:32:27 AM »
You nailed it, good job! I however, am stumped
Zoltan, Hound of Dracula

Furry balls gnaw you alive, leaving only your shivering (and meaty) skeleton as their apetite's witness.

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9926 on: October 17, 2011, 09:42:19 PM »
Too easy, Critters. This should be easy, it's a cult classic from '86.

You're on your way in a bus to a Sorority party with your frat brothers. When all of the sudden some crazy zombie farmers crashes his truck into yours. His head bursts open and the space slugs crawl into your mouth... turning you into a space slug zombie! You spend the rest of the night wandering around trying to eat sorority girls before the local deadbeat sherriff blows your head off.
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9927 on: October 18, 2011, 08:29:56 AM »
I remembered that movie but had to Google a bit to find the actual title: Night of the Creeps I believe?

Okay, lets try this one.

Being who you are, a wannabe hobo if you aren't already one, you walk around in the middle of the night with cheap gin in a bag, taking a swill from time to time, when you meet a strange bloke shambling in the alley, when you stagger in close, a a shrill 'BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP...' start to be heard, going crescendo and allegro as the guy get closer, and closer, and closer, and yes, closes his nig metal hands on both side of your head and crush it like a cheap coffee's tin can with cybernetic strength.

Brains oozes bloodily on the walkway.

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9928 on: October 18, 2011, 02:18:15 PM »
Stumped, either I've never seen it or I need more information

Oh yeah, well I'm going to kill you like a robot too! You think you've got the upper hand and try to ram me with a truck. I dodge out of the way and you slam into a vat of toxic waste instead! You spend the last few minutes of your life dragging around whining for help before someone hits you with their car. Your body instantly turns to bloody diarrhea all over his windshield.
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9929 on: October 18, 2011, 04:43:01 PM »
You tried to kill me with Robocop? LOL - Answer is Frankestein 2000

Man becomes machine! Meet your doom in the roman times, as you get to meet the time warped, cybernetic errand boy sent there to accomplish some random mad scientist's errand... Being a roman soldier at that moment was a very baaaad idea. You die in fire. Horribly.

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9930 on: October 18, 2011, 06:40:16 PM »
Hmmm, Eliminators? Here's a clue for the next one; title similar to Frank 2000. Another: One of the worst B movies of 2004 and argueably all time."

I make you the captain of a space salvage team! You board a misterious vessel where you and Coolio stumble upon my ancient coffin. Just because you're a distant relative of Van Helsing doesn't save your ass, I still turn you into a vampire. You die in some lame B movie fashion (which I can't remember, it was that bad). I try to get at the last two of the crew but I can't get through the airlock. They spend the rest of the time fooling around in the command room while I beat on the door until the spaceship explodes.
Throwing feces in the eye of insolence.

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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9931 on: October 28, 2011, 06:08:20 PM »
Indeed! I am impressed.... But I have nooo idea about that one ^^ :/

Okay - Blond woman, or so it seems... She ask you for some horizontal bedtime fun, but it happens that she's quite patched up, being full of holes from unfriendly fire and realize it just won't do without revealing who (or what) she is.
She wanna stop. But being the stubborn farmer ass that you are, you do not. You effectively got beaten to death by what seems to a blonde bimbo.

Terminator? Nope sir, try again.

   Starky
« Last Edit: October 28, 2011, 06:09:42 PM by Starrakatt, LolDeer of Doom »

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9932 on: October 28, 2011, 09:41:47 PM »
Dracula 3000... don't watch it. Must not be too bad because I don't know.

I force you, with my robotic strength, to put on a cheesy jack-o-lantern mask. I then force you to watch an equally cheesy commercial, which reacts with chemicals laced in the mask to turn your face into slime!
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9933 on: October 29, 2011, 07:53:52 AM »
Eve of Destruction - Robotic strength? Cheesy commercials? Melting faces? I'm stumped...

Funny people land with their spaceship in your neighborhood. All are invited to the circus. Bad thing is, they tend to kill and eat people. You're first.

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9934 on: October 29, 2011, 09:28:55 AM »
Killer Klowns From Outer Space? Mine was Halloween 3, a terrible movie, Michael Myers wasn't even in it!

You open the door while at a crazy hotel party and you see me. I shove my hand into your belly, then lift up, cutting you in half. Blood sprays everywhere. I then procede to kill all your cronnies with equal ease.
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9935 on: October 29, 2011, 11:55:45 AM »
Yep, the Clowns and as for you, John Carpenter's Vampires!

A nice family and dog are out camping in the desert, when some thugs decides to make a hell of their life. Everything's becoming a weapon. The family car. The family dog. You end up up on the bad end of its teeth. Who knew you'd turn out bad?

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9936 on: November 1, 2011, 10:10:50 AM »
Too tired to recall a movie

I force you to stay up and spend all night walking kids around collecting candy donations from the entire neighborhood. You collect and collect until you can barely carry all the bags back home. All you want to do is nurse your blistered feet, but no! I force feed you pounds and pounds of cheap Chinese candy. You throw it up, but I just shove more and more down your throat. I continue to feed the mountain of sweets to you until you begin to grow a shiny candy coating. Your insides turn to milk chocolate, your hands and feet transform into goofy white cartoon gloves and shoes. One day you awake only to find a giant "M" has showed up on your shiny blue belly; you have become an M&M.

You spend days in your cell crying... lemon drops. Finally the door opens, only to reveal... rabidly hungry children! :o They come at you in waves. You try to fight them off, but your muscle has been replaced with licorice. They pull you down by your cotton candy hair. With giggles and squels of delight they disembowel your gummy worm guts, shoving them into their mouths by the hand fulls. Before you finally pass all you can see are the insanely cheerful faces of the child horde surrounding you, covered in the chocolate syrup of your blood.

Happy Halloween!
Throwing feces in the eye of insolence.

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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9937 on: November 1, 2011, 08:39:41 PM »
That was: The Hills have eyes.

Halloween was yesterday.

A unhappy November girl calendar's page roll itself tight and, taking you unaware, slide down your throat and start thrashing in your doomed lungs until they turn into mush.

   Starky

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Offline jawmonkey

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9938 on: November 1, 2011, 11:29:27 PM »
I feed you an entire turkey, all at once, still frozen.
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Offline Facultas

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Re: Kill the above Poster game
« Reply #9939 on: November 16, 2011, 08:45:24 PM »
Somewhere in a distant Scandinavian fjord, a depleted jawmonkey stands up from its squat and releases its contracted and involved facial expression. With a sigh of relief it decides to take a nice dip in the icy waters of the fjord.

All of a sudden it stops, what is that? No, it couldn't be! The jawmonkey raises its face to the cliffs and spys Facultas leaping from the edge directly above it. Amazed to see Facultas not filled with brown and grey gook, the jaw monkey can only half heartedly squeeze off some doo projectiles from its teleporting anus.

In the amount of time that it took for Facultas to fall  20 feet onto the jaw monkey, the jaw monkey had launched several such projectiles which resulted in misses of 4.6, 2.3, and 13.7 meters respectively. The jawmonkey concluded from his data that his shots were being launched at an exact velocity of 436 meters per second and launched into a mental math equation of what angle and place of launch would produce a connection with Facultas's face at an angle of 90 degrees relative to projectile and surface. When the jawmonkey arrived at his conclusion, he gleefully arranged himself into the correct position to hurl the turd of doom. Anticipating victory the jawmonkey turned to face his falling assailant and let fl-, Crack!

Facultas landed precisely on the jawmonkeys sternum, shattering ribs and crushing the jawmonkey's lungs and heart. As the jaw monkey stared dazedly at Facultas standing on him, Facultas whispered to him, "While schemes within schemes are all well and good. The true victor is he who plans for retaliation to retaliation to retaliation to retaliation and further until ones enemy cannot possibly attempt a single more retaliation. Thats why clones are such handy utilities."

Facultas then delved into his back pocket and withdrew a large bag of coins and showed it to jawmonkey gloating, "I got the winnings, and theres a bet lined up for next time. Until then, Fare well dead jawmonky." At this point Facultas strode away victoriously into the sunrise, leaving jaw monkeys mangled corpse to sunbathe in what would be a beautiful day.

 


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