40K Online
Community => Tavern Games => Topic started by: Nomsheep, the Modhunter. on April 7, 2010, 07:06:14 PM
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this was on another website and it was really popular for a while.
the first person wishes, the second person corrupts it, and then they wish for something
Person one; i wish i could spell
person two: Wish granted, you can now spell, however you can neither read nor write. You have to express everything orally, which makes most of the internet useless to you.I wish had a cat
person three: wish granted but it has rabies. i wish i was rich
Etc. etc. Get how it goes? Think about your corruptions, and make them terrible!
i wish i could fly.
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Wish granted but you wings are attached to your underpants, so everytime you try, you give yourself an atomic wedgy.
I wish I could use green stuff well
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Wish granted, but you become so good that everyone suddenly loves you, the papparazi follow you around and you never get a moment's peace.
i wish my tau would actually win me a battle
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Wished granted, but you become so entralled with your army, you collapse from flumes while gluing together yet another battlesuit.
I wish I could go faster.
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wish granted, but as your engine gathers speed you chassis can't keep up and the engine leaves you behind
i wish i had something better to do
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wish granted, but your "something better is being santcjud's (sp?) be-atch.
I wish less people played space marines.
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*sanctjud (thats how it's spelt)
granted but then the marine dex gets upated and every weapon becomes strength ten ap 1 so the few people who do play marines are unstoppable
i wiah matt ward would give up his day job
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wish granted, but now matt ward will be beating you to death daily as his new day job
I wish I was nicer sometimes.
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wish granted but you drive of an invisible road
i wish games workshop would makea new genestealer cult codex.
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Wish granted, but it turns out to be a massive disapointment.
I wish I had more money.
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wish granted, but you get in a bath of penny's one day and choke to death.
I wish i had a job (not-sanct related)
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wish granted, you get to crawl into storm drains and clean out amphetamine parrot clogs
I wish nomsheep would stop breathing
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Wish granted, but now he is a zombie that follows you constantly, moaning.
I wish I could focus on painting more than I do.
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Wish granted, but you are only able to paint innapropriate adult scenes in which your mother plays a predominant role.
I wish the holocaust never happend (ooo corrupt that you sick person)
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wish granted, but due to the fact six million people are still alive that should have died the world becomes even more overpopulated and everyone lives in slums.
i wish i was a fish
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Granted, but you have no gills.
I wish I had the FW Giant Squigoth.
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wish granted, but by some freak of nature it comes alive and mauls you to death.
i wish i had originality
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wish granted, but your originality is copied by everyone.
I wish I could have a farm of exotic peacocks
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Granted, you get to milk all the cocks with feathers strapped on them.
I wish for information on Starky's whereabouts.
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wish granted but the information involves crawling through a foul mixture of sheep and duck's personal fluid
i wish i had a sisters of battle army
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Your wish is hereby granted, but your new army could never win except during a full moon in the month of Ramadan! (and even then it's only a chance of winning!)
I wish I had the powers of Dr. Manhattan from the Watchman graphic novel.
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wish granted, but ulike him, you actually DO give people cancer.
I wish i had some skittles
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Granted, but you have to go in Sancty's van to get them.
I wish I had an airsoft gun.
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Granted, but it now shoots blanks.
I wish for more kids to get into the van.
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Wish granted, but your van becomes so full of the poo of young Goats that you suffocate.
I wish for and end to climate change.
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Wish granted, the climate never changes, anywhere. If it is currently raining or a state of drought anywhere currently that is how it will stay forever, enjoy the blood of the innocents. MWAH HAHA.
I wish i had more nice shorts
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wish granted but you have no other clothes
i wish something good was on tv
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granted, but due to blackouts the tv wont work.
i wish i had the new DE codex
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Wish greatfully granted, as it's not finished you will have it now, forever incomplete, forever lacking
I wish i was a martial arts expert
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wish granted but one day you perform a move and pull a muscle out, meaning you can never perform martail arts again.
i wish i lived somewhere else
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wish granted, however, you are now living in Snacty's van, strapped down with your butt in the air.
I wish for world peace (come on, I know I'm not the only rather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean? in here)
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granted but then the necrons arrive, we naivley through a massive welcoming party and promptly cease to exist.
i wish no-one would mention sanct's van again.
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wish granted, however, snacty trades in the van for a bus, so he can carry all his bondage equipment.
I wish nom would stop fighting it, it'll be over that much quicker
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wish granted, but after he's done with me. your his next victim
I wish that my avy was more epic
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wish granted, however, everyone rips off your avy and argue and flame war that they had it first
I wish people would quit hacking online multiplayer games
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wish granted. i don't want to corrupt that it's too true
i wish i had modern warfare 2
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Wish granted, however by some strange stroke of ill luck, the bullets become real and kill you through your own computer screen
I wish tavern posts counted towards your post count
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Wish granted but along with that change to the site a new rule stating that anyone with 3000 posts must spend an evening with Jam007 is added.
I wish for an end to world poverty.
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granted, but all the money comes form your account.
i wish i had a brain.
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Granted, but it's a deranged hobo's brain.
I wish I had the money to travel more.
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Granted, however your travel agency is terrible and sends you to to Somalia
I wish there were more online games revolving around 40k other than dawn of war
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Wish granted, but they cost way too much to play.
I wish I was a higher level in CoD: WaW.
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granted, now you have such a high level only super awesome pammers and hackers play you, you get so pissed off you cut off your own head with a telephone.
I wish my coffee mug was bigger.
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Granted, now every time you drink coffee, you nearly die of a caffeine induced heart attack.
I wish I hadn't hit my funny bone earlier, it still hurts.
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Wish granted, however, you no longer have arms or legs.
I wish I would wake up from this and it all be a bad dream
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granted, but you wake up tied and gagged in sanct's van (sorry i had too)
i wish i hadnt said that
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granted but you now have no mouth
i wish for an end to world hunger
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The world is no longer hungry because all of the starving people were killed, no longer hungry problem solved. All money given to overseas aid is spent stock piling food to prevent world hunger ever recurring. As a result of your actions millions are dead.
I wish there was water water everywhere, but every drop was drinkable
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granted but it gets too much and the world floods. you then discover noone can swim.
i wish i could turn teleport
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granted, however you appear in the middle of a cement block and are killed
I wish Sanct had never existed
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Granted, the tavern ceased to exist within it's first few years of conception.
I wish sact fought pedo bear
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Granted, however it was a giggling pillow fight over who gets to take your virginity
I wish for 10,000pts of every army
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Granted you are now poor and forever unable to paint your armies, no-one will play you and they look terrible.
I wish i had a bodyguard
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Granted, however your bodyguard is more into the buffet than guarding you and you are gunned down by angry Triads mistaking you for Jon McClane.
I wish I had a real Eldar Jetbike
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granted, but, having no knowlege of how it works you crash going mach 13 into the orphan hospital in ethiopia.
I wish i had my two front teeth
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Granted...except they were shoved in there along with my mea stick...oops popped them out again.
I wish you guys would talk about me more in Tavern games when I'm not around...and I wish for you guys to think of a new name for me. :D
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Granted, everyone makes every post about you, Loraziel gets pissed off and makes the Tavern
gods mods outlaw your name and all variations, including your new name "rumpbizket" or "Rumpy"
I wish i had a bandana
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Granted, however you tie it around your neck, and get it caught on something, strangling yourself to death
I wish Sanct had never existed
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Granted. The downside is that since he never existed, you never lost your virginity. Loser
I wish I didn't have a hangover
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granted. this is because you are alergic to alcahol.
i wish i was jesus
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granted, and are hence nailed to a 2x4
i wish i could swim the seven seas
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granted, were the sharks gentle
i wish could see the sharks eat him without becoming theirs or sancts victim
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You become my victim, while not as devious, i'm bigger. :'( <<<<<You
I wish i had some respect around here Yhwh-condemnedit!
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Granted, of the 35223 listed members 1 of them now respects you. Unfortunately that member respects you so much that they start to follow you around and you end up getting them arrested.
I wish for an end to all deaths, injury & persecution carried out in the name of religion.
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Granted, religion is now gone. Without having to answer to a "higher power" humanity plunges into a new dark age and the global homicide rate triples. Also, genocide is now considered a sport.
I wish I wasn't hungover......... again........ damnit......
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You're no longer hungover... you're dead
I wish i was the worlds best miniature painter
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granted. you are now the worlds best miniature painter - you are like a teeny tiny Van Gough :D
i wish i had a real suit of terminator armour that was shrunk to fit me
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Granted, however you can't get out of it when it runs out of power, and die of starvation in it.
I wish I had command over an entire Legion of Space Marines
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Dunzo. But your legion is corrupted by the whispers of the dark prince Slaanesh. We all know how that turns out
I wish I had a twin linked assault cannon mounted on my car
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Sure, however, it jams and one of the rounds explodes and shreds your car.
I wish I had a chainsword.
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Granted, but it's because you work as a lumber jack and it's your pet name for your chain saw.
I wish that paedophiles didn't exist.
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Granted. however with the lack of paedophiles, sychophants take to raping Dark Eldar players until they get a new Dex
I wish that GW would stop releasing new SM dex's every other release
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Granted, but now every release is a Space Marine 'dex.
I wish the necron fluff would be changed so that it isn't so ridiculous.
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granted but now its what parents use on naughty children to bore them into line
i wish i could think of something decent to put here
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Wish granted. But a mod finds what you wrote and bans you from 40k online for breaking the rules, the Tavern is no place for decency.
I wish I could communicate with animals
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Granted, however, you miscommunicate with a puma and it eats your face
I wish I was a mod
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Granted, but you are in charge of emocon usage only.
I wish...for more 4Chan than there is now.
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Granted but the 4chan in question turns out to be Channel 4's internet catch up TV service.
I wish that mankind had never evolved past the stone age.
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If I'm not mistaken, our brain's have been getting smaller since the last ice age.
I wish for world peace.
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YES...unfortunately we are so lovey dovey there's not barriers to those touchy feely people...and they start probing people left and right...the kind of probing you don't want.
The kind I approve of...which then boils down to killing in the name of peace through eye socket humping.
I wish for more ballroom dancing music.
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Granted, however it tortures you that it is played horribly off key and makes you kill yourself to just be free of it.
I wish for a new CSM Codex that was more Legion specific friendly
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The fluff is awesome, but they're still totally nerfed by the Hrud codex that was released prior the Legion CSM codex.
I wish for a Hrud codex.
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Wish granted, however it is nerfed by the Dark Eldar
I wish for a new Harlequins/Exodites Codex
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Granted but the figures produced to go along with the new codex are so expensive that you can't afford them.
I wish I could win the major prize of every lottery in the world.
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Granted. The titular one from Shirley Jackson's classic short story is one of them.
I wish the zombies would hurry up and eat everyone...
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Granted, but they only choose those closely affiliated with Slaanesh
I wish the Tavern Gods would appear and help corrupt the rest of 40konline
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granted i am here
i wish i was a tavern god
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Wish granted, however you are made the Tavern God of stupidity and no one becomes your acolyte.
I wish nomsheep didn't exist
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He doesn't, you're all just figments of my imagination.
I wish I was a real boy.
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Wish granted, however Sanct then rapes you to death.
I wish I wasn't a figment of jawmonkey's imagination
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Granted, now you no longer exist.
I wish that the labels on jars and cans were easier to remove so that recycling them could be done quickly.
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Granted, now nothing is labeled though and eat something you are allergic to and die from it.
I wish the Dark Eldar never got a Codex update
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granted but then no other dex gets updated cos games workshop go bust
i wish no-one ever invented quotes
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Wish granted but because of you the famous quote "your country needs you" never happened and now the whole world is blond and blue eyed.
I wish Jesus had never been crucified.
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granted, but he then goes on the slaughter those who follow different beliefs.
i wish i had a klondike bar
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Your wish is granted...It's a special Bar injected with teh good stuff, straight from the Van :D
I wish for more people to participate in the poster game, before Jammy has a reason to lock it :D.
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Your wish is granted, however someone posts pics of him in your van, and the thread is tossed into a volcano.
I wish everyone would play the Hive City game just so we have more than a few daemons, a warped Grey Knight, and a random Ork running around killing (and in Snacty's case raping) everything in sight for giggles
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Granted, unfortunately everyone turns out to be everyone on the planet with an internet connection and the 40k server crashes never to be rebooted.
I wish it was cheaper to holiday abroad.
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Wish granted, however, TSA has to make cut backs to make travel cheaper and your plane is high-jacked by rather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean?s and crashed into the ocean in protest of whaling.
I wish I had a real suit if Terminator armor
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Wish granted, but you forgot the batteries.....
I wish I wish my fish would stop doing this (fighting each other that is. Gouramis are thugs :P).
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Wish granted, however now they just laze all day and do nothing.
I wish I had batteries for my terminator armor
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Granted but as you didn't wish for the necessary Space Marine implants you still can't use any part of the suit and you slowly starve to death inside it.
I wish I had more common sense.
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Granted, but now you have no friends as everyone thinks you are a snooty dick.
I wish I had all the space marine implants neccessary to use my terminator armor
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granted but you die as they change you too quickly and it overstresses your brain
i wish i had a real thunderhammer and storm sheild that were small enough to use
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Granted, however they are the size of a pencil and a sheet of paper, thus offering no help
I wish Horus had never been corrupted by Chaos
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granted. vulkan was instead and he kiled the emperor where horus didnt
i wish my TH/SS were big enough to be helpful on a battlefeild
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Wish granted, too bad your facing Tau.
I wish someone would buy or trade for either my Eldar or IG armies.
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3++ invun FTW ;D
your wish is granted but as soon as you trade your eldar away, they get an awesome new codex and loads of new models so you are sad :'(
(as for IG, what have you got and where are you?)
i wish i had some IG models so i can start my traitor guard
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I've got a large metal infantry platoon (at least that big anyways), too bad they're all Catachan.
I wish I had IG tanks to sweeten the deal.
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granted. your tanks sweeten the deal as they are made of cookies :D
i wish i could paint chaos markings freehand
(jawmokey, can you PM me the details of your IG please?)
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Your wish is granted, but the only symbol you can paint is that of slaanesh, and you paint it EVERWHERE, so you are deemed insane and locked away.
I wish "common sense" was more common.
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Granted, now everyone acts the same and thinks the same. We become only one step from being Necrons
I wish I had a fully functional boltgun
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Granted, too bad the ammo for it is centuries away in development.
I wish for something more realistic, I wish for a functional power klaw.
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Wish granted, however it is too unwieldy, and you sever your own leg.
I wish I could find 3 recurved blades and a light weight double hinge hydraulic mechanism to make a functional power klaw
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The power supply will be too heavy for a normal human to carry.
I wish for an advance in microhydraulics, inadvertently making a power klaw weigh significantly less (e.g. man-portable)
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wish granted but they make it out paper meaning it's effictivley useless
i wish the spartans had taken over the world
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wish granted, but when you are inspected as a baby, you are found unfit and cast from the cliffs.
I wish I had all of the power of Magnus the Red
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Granted but as Magnus is a fictional character so is your power.
I wish that White Dwarf was cheaper but still managed to maintain it's quality and content.
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Wish granted, but to save money, they now print using paper composed of recycled used toilet paper.....that's somehow flammable at room temp. ???
I wish I never read this:
I've tried........smokin g my own pubic hair?
The below poster sooo believes what I say...:D and will be another image they won't be able to bleach from their minds.
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Granted, I am reborn in your dreams and go Nightmare on Elm Street on you...except I won't have a sweater on, but two lether strap-ons to compliment my disco stick...open wide :D
I wish Hymirl would join us in the Tavern Games.
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Granted but he gags when he sees u
I wish you would shut the hell up Sanct, it got old like 9 perverted games ago
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Your wish is granted...except instead of all talk, it's all action...and Tangi WILL get his date with Raptor Jesus.
I wish Yarrik would join in the Perverted Tavern Games....as I play them.
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Wish granted but it turns out that Yarrik is so perverted that 40K gets shut down by the Police.
I wish that the Catholics of old had been right and the Universe does revolve around the Earth.
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Wish granted, however people still believe that moonshine has vitamins and we all die from alcohol poisoning
I wish I didn't have so many projects in the works right now
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widh granted but now you are dead.
i wish could model my guardsmen to be spartans
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Wish granted but your company commander yells this is sparta and kicks you down a well
I wish I didn't have so much exam revision to do
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wish granted but your now a redneck,
i wish i had perfectly working and unbreakable well climbing euipment which i know how to use after landing safely.
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Wish granted, however a drop pod falls into the well and kills you on the way down.
I wish I had a wraithlord of my own to kill for me.
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wish granted but it burns everyone you ever loved then turns on you.
i wish i didn't have to do these tasks
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Wish granted, your internet service provider shuts off your connection, and your computer explodes in your face killing you.
I wish we were all free from the fear of Raptor Jesus.
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wish granted but then i come back as a ghost
i wish people recognized me as their deity
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Wish granted, but your followers are killed for heresy, thus you lose power and fade away
I wish this raptor jesus cult garbage would end.
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wish granted but then i create another cult that recognizes me as a diety and we conquer the universe
i wish sanct would accidently violate a tyrinad.
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wish granted, but the tyranid eats your face while you attempt to get out of your gimp gear.
I wish nom could come up with better replies
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so do i, so do i
i wish i could to
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Wish granted, but you are unable to consistently post due to the long thought process it takes you.
I wish it wasn't so easy to torment nom
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granted but then i tirn in to a carbon copy of you and run you out of business
i wish that would never happen
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Wish granted as I shoot you in the face
I wish Tangi wouldn't be so scared of Raptor Jesus.
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granted but then he runs you over as he charges towards rj
i wish i had somethig to do
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Granted, however you are now filling sandbags.... forever.
I wish I had a huge pile of sand so nom could fill sandbags for me
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Wish granted, but nom dies a horrid death from being flooded by sand
I wish Maki was still in High and Mighty Color.
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Granted...except it's you that's high and colored red from whip marks...
I wish for more cattle like wingsofrazgriz1...y ummy...
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wish granted but i take offence only certain people can pre3tend to raptor jesus in a sheep costume
i wish my cover was restored
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Wish granted, but it only covers the front of you.
I wish i didn't have Sanct just post right after me
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wish granted but then he posts something behind you.
i wish i could unwatch alvin and the chipmunks
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Wish granted but in fiery vengeance he decends upon you and engulfs you with his dislocatable maw
I wish gw would hurry up and release plastic grey knight terminators
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p.s you were a bit late with that one.
granted but they are really realy bad
i wish i had a wish
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Wish granted but it gets corrupted and makes the world a worse place
I wish my phone would post faster so that I didn't get outdone
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Granted, but your fingers fall off.
I wish smithmyster66 would bend over so I can smithhissternum69er ...
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Wish Granted, but all you see is your face so you refrain from doing him.
I wish Sanct would stop being so perverted.
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granted but he grows 10000 penises and proceeds to become a mass rapist
i wish i had bernards watch
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Granted, however, you go blind and deaf and it does you no good.
I wish there was some way to turn back time and prevent Snacty from being born
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granted but his fetus is transferred from his mom to you during sex and he takes over your body
i wish someone new would join this thread
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granted but they are so perverted this website gets permanantly shut down
i wish i could pass all my exams without revision
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granted but you meet the bare requirements and graduate at the bottom of your class
I wish there was less red-tape in the world
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granted but the tape just becomes reknown as blue tape
i wish my parents would stop bugging me
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Granted. Your parents get arrested as it is illegal to bug someone without their knowledge.
I wish the weekend was 3 days long.
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granted but now the week is 8 days long
i wish i could afford a 20000 point army of allied imperial forces
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granted but you use up all the money in the country and countless orphans starve.
i wish i didnt keep getting sidetracked and could just get my stupid Death Company done already!!! >:(
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wish granted but they never kill anything and never die when you use them in games
i wish i could refrain from granting all these wishes
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granted as your computer explodes and you are blinded.
i wish photobucket was quicker to use (eg, an Edit Multiple Photos button would be nice)
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Granted, however you no longer have access to the Tavern
I wish I had a cool giant fist like Hellboy
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Granted...it's fisting you.
I wish I had a camera to see that hole widen.
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Wish Granted, it is the butt probe that they use to test (i think) prostate cancer in people...and you tick off more people than the people who like you.
I wish i never had to sit in class.
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Wish granted, but now your pen pokes through your paper every time you try to write on your leg while standing.
I wish someone would make me a functional power klaw in return for one, or more, of my armies.
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wish granted but it's fake and you lose your armies.
i wish i could make a functional power klaw it doesn't seem to hard
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Wish granted, but on a test run with it, you decapitate yourself.
I wish I had a huge mess of Chaos Marines to make into a Word Bearers army
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Granted but I cry treason and your hung in the tower of london
I wish someone would restock letthedicedecide.co m more regularly
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grated. it is now you and youhave to do it 40 times a day :)
i wish the new =I= codex would come out and not suck
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granted but it only contains deathwatch
i wish sanct didnt wanna rape me
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Granted... I just want to tenderize your insides...
I wish you wouldn't run so fast.
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granted now you can't run either
i wish zombieland was funny
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Granted, you leave before the movie starts and see me humping a lamp post.
I wish the lamp post would bend over and not make me do it.
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granted now the lamp post can run
i wish i could see sanct fall foul of an ork chieftan
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Granted, but it only ends up as a "More cushin' for the pushin'", situation. Just imaging the Orc warlock on all fours......smoking a wrap of my pubic hair....
I support love.......of all kinds. I wish for more of that.
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Granted, but you are then raped by an elephant.
I wish for a Legions Chaos Codex. DEATHGUARD BIKERS!!!!!
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Granted. Games Workshop say that they are working on the new Codex and it will be released at an unspecified future date. Unfortunately you die before they set the release date.
I wish money really did grow on trees.
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granted but as it is now so readially available, everyone raises their prices by 1,000,000%
i wish that none of my models will break when i move house tomorrow 8)
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Wish granted, though you loose it during the transportation process and doesn't show up till after you are dead.
I wish life love would not be so complicated.
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Wish granted already. Love isn't complicated, people are.
I wish I could play a musical instrument well enough to make money from it.
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Wish granted, but you are now homeless, and only have that instrument.
I wish I had more time to assemble all of my Chaos Marines
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Granted. You have more time but due to political correctness GW have to either stop making & printing stuff about Chaos, as it is proven to corrupt children, or rename them the pink fairies. As you have so many Chaos models you refuse to give them up and have to paint them pink and stick wings on them.
I wish that wishing on a star actually worked.
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Granted but the star draws you toward it and immolates you
I wish I didn't have work tommorrow
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wish granted, but you get laid off tomorrow
I wish i never had to take a mid term on arguing.
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Granted but on Monday you get into an argument and can't formulate your ideas quick enough to defend yourself. You are thereafter nicknamed the village idiot.
I wish vacuum cleaners were nearly silent when being used.
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wish granted, you go deaf and never hear a thing, like that Mack truck you just stepped in front of
I wish I had someone to paint my armies for me.
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Granted but the painter in question turns out to be a painter and decorator called Bob who only uses Dulux Apple White when he paints.
I wish our armed forces had all the equipment and protective gear that they need.
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Wish granted....even though that is very true, i shall make an attempt in the way of the wrong. The materials of the armor and gear cost so much, it bankrupts the whole world.
I wish school never existed.
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Granted, but we degenerate back into the Pleistocene Era and are little more than hairless chimps.
I wish I had something better than Bloodletters or Nurglings to represent Summoned Daemons
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Granted but tzeentch hates you so he turns you into a spawn
I wish I could be in high school again (ah the simple days)
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granted, but you remember just how bad high school was whilst you were in it
i wish i had already qualified as a mechanic
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Wish granted, but one day while you are working on the full electric cars you get shocked to death just because you forgot your rubber gloves.
I wish i was doing a auto internship program that actually worked. (as in i get picked up for over the summer as an intern...) (did one for school...and got rejected ): the summer before the bubble burst)
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Granted, but you are laid off and become a homeless dude living under a bridge.
I wish wingsofrazgriz1 would get an avatar so we can make fun of it.
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wish granted but it's a picture of you
I wish I had more time
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Wish granted, but since time stretches for eternity, you are still just one....stuck in a crib...wait...were you even born?
I wish i had that "hourglass of time" like in prince of persia (the video game >.>)
-
Wish granted, but you drop it and it shatters, leaving you screwed in the Cretaceous Period.
I wish I had my own A-10 Warthog to deal with horrible people.
-
Wish granted, but you arent Colin Mcrae so you are crap at driven it and crash into a tree and die.
I wish I didnt have spots.
-
Wish granted. Instead you have stripes and are dissected by scientists who want to know why.
I wish I had better opponents to play 40k with... I'm sick of cheese.
-
Wish granted, You play a 1000pts game. Your next opponext wipes you out with Orks on the first turn.
I wish I had 17 Scythed Hierodules
-
Granted but you are so pleased with them that you start to treat them as pets and one day you lose your temper with them cos they won't do as they are told and smash them to pieces.
I wish Michael Jackson hadn't died.
-
Wish granted, You seen him on the street one day so you walked up to him but before you got near him his bouncer pushed you away and told you to jog on.
I wish all the 10th prestige Mw2 cocks would get shot flat in the face and were left to rot in the mud ;)
-
Wish granted, however it happens in real life and someone reads this post and you are arrested for the murders and given the electric chair.
I wish the tavern wasn't so damned fun so I wouldn't spend so much time here
-
wish granted, but then you have nothing to fill the endless hours you've wasted in here and kill yourself.
i wish sanct was less creepy
-
Wish granted, however Starrakatt comes back and shows you a "good time" by sodomizing you to death
I wish Starky would hurry back.
-
granted and you suffer the same fate
i wish someone would explain who he was.
-
Wish granted, but your small brain can't comprehend the awesomeness of a Tavern God and your head explodes.
I wish I had 200 dollars to finish my Word Bearers.
-
Wish granted, But as im handing it to you the winds blows it away.
I wish Blitzbox had stock !!
-
wish granted, but then another volcano goes off and shipping stops for ever
i wish i could leave britain
-
Wish granted, you win the lottery but you are so overwelmed you have a heart attack and die.
I wish....wish my white trainers would stay white!
-
granted, but then they melt in the wash, the are white just not wearable.
i wisg i could sculpt
-
Wish granted, you become very successfull posting your work up on this site everybody loves it. One day FW rings you up and gives you a job. Your first day at the workshop and you cut all of your fingers off from your right hand.
-
phew that's a relief, i'll just use my left
i wish i was the only who forgot to play
-
Wish granted, but for your stupidity, you get banned from the Tavern by a very angry Jammie
I wish we didn't have any mods in here so we could all divide up into factions and impose our will on each other.
-
Wish granted, but then it becomes something like the Lord of the Flies, and hopefully only the intelligent is saved. (or Battle Royal for those who do not like reading what is considered as "classic literature"..blah...I to hate it.)
I wish people would stop calling me a hacker in MW2 when they are being spawn camped.
-
wish granted, they come up with a better name
i wish i had a better avy
-
wish granted, however, it is the same one as wingsofrazgriz1 has
I wish all spawn campers would eat amphetamine parrot and die
-
Wish granted...and only so true. (Hey it wasn't me who was spawn camping them.) In the efforts to argue for evil. They die, but the crap piles up along with the rotting bodies to the point where the whole world is swimming in poo and decaying bodies. Have fun with that.
I wish to know what an avy is. (My googlefu has failed me)
-
Wish granted, that is why I have no need to remind you.
I wish I could see the future.
-
Wish granted, But with all this info it couldn't fit into your Tau size head so your head explodes.
I wish I got up for working without a problem.
-
Wish granted, however you suffer an ignominious end when rush everything and your heart stops
I wish people who didn't know what avys are would just look through the user CP and figure it out.
(an avy or avatar is the pretty picture everyone has under their name champ-VK)
-
Wished granted. Our site is now overrun by utterly terrible avys. Worse even than mine. :(
I wish my avey could be prettier.
-
Wish granted, but you go back to the crushed cube avy....
I wish we had an Ordo Pedobearus to deal with some of the weirdos in the tavern
-
Wish granted. Now, we're at war.
I wish we could all just get along.
-
Wish granted, however Snacty now controls everything and we are all his slaves
I wish I hadn't said that...
-
Granted. Funnily enough the result is the same as if you had said it.
I wish that the sporting world would wake up and realise that football players (soccer) aren't worth the £20million and upwards that the clubs are paying for them.
-
wish granted but instead all this extra money in the economy is spent on gambling
i wish my sculpting skills were better
-
Wish granted, however you are hired onto Forgeworld, only to lose all use of your arms from a traumatic brain injury and jump to your death in histerics.
I wish I wasn't so mean to people
-
Wish granted, you are hearby a mute.
I wish Hellsing ultimate 5 on dvd
-
Wish granted, but you are hit by a train on the way to the store to get it.
I wish for more newbs to come to the tavern, we need more sacrifices to the herald of Slurgle
-
wish granted, but sanct feeds on their *cugh* takes over and we all become his slaves
i wish that wasn't possible
-
Wish granted, as Tzeentch somehow prevents newbies from ever coming into existence.
I wish for new Tavern Gods, and me to be one of them
-
wish granted, and im made one to
i wish sanct did not have that option
-
Wish granted, however he feeds off your life force to stay alive
I wish for more members to the Ordo Pedobearus
-
wish granted but then you are infiltrated by pedobears and destroyed from within, ]
i wish i could join and do exactly that
-
Wish granted, however the Ordo Hereticus is working hand in hand with us and you are picked up by the Adeptus Arbites and "vanish"
-
*cough*
i wish you would play the game
-
Wish granted, I then kill you as part of my own game
I wish nom would not be so quick to point fingers when he hardly can play the other games without screwing up
-
wish granted, .....(make up corruption) nom looks sutably embarrased
i wish i had a reason for that
-
Wish granted, it slaps you in the face and kills you though
I wish I didn't spend so much time in the tavern
-
Wish granted, but sancty just goes out of his van and decides to chase you down to drag you back.
I wish that sanct would please be a bit more mature due to the possible age of the people in the forum.
-
Wish granted, however the forum shuts down entirely and Sancty has to go elsewhere to pervert something.
I wish that the Tavern wasn't so full of sadists
-
Wish granted, All of them die! And then you become depressed and go and die! In a hole.
I wish Scotland was sunny 360 days a year.
-
wish granted, but everyone in scotland goes insane from the constant sunlight. (Much like alaska thinking about it)
I wish people knew the true meaning to communism that Karl Marx spoke about.
-
Wish granted, but facism also makes a return and the world is thrown into chaos.
I wish we could all just get along
-
Granted but without conflict of any sort businesses cannot survive as they no longer want to make anything that would upset their competitors. Soon the shops are empty of everything except for baked beans.
I wish that people would realise that there really isn't a reason for the fast pace of modern life and go back to walking, boats and carriages as ways of transport.
-
...you don't like cars, eh? >:(
Fine. Wish granted, but now you get sore feet and bunions from walking everywhere, sea sickness from the puny little rowboats, and ruined shoes from stepping in horse amphetamine parrot.
BTW, your prejudices against us proud, hard working, hard polluting vehicles disgusts me. >:(
I wish I wasn't so offended right now.
-
Wish granted as I go out and aquire a giant Hummer H2 and use it to road trip all over, causing several hybrid owners to explode in horror
I wish we had more members in the Ordo Pedobearus
-
granted but they all decide to cause mutiny and overthrow the existing members and rename it the ordofairydusters
i wish the ordo pedobearus didnt seem to sound like they worship sancty instead of the emperor
-
Wish granted. Apparently you forget what an Ordo does. Ordo Pedobearus is "Kill the Pedobear." You are killed by the Ordo Hereticus for heresy and treason however.
I wish that some of the tavern fools would not worship the Pedobear.
-
Granted, but with the Tavern fools the tavern can't exist.
I wish that painting 40K figures Blood Red was easier.
...you don't like cars, eh? >:(
Nothing against cars just the way people use them. There really is no need to drive a journey that takes 1-5 Min's. Nobody is that short of time.
-
Wish granted, however now you must use your own blood.
I wish painting any GW red color was easier.
-
Wish granted. Welcome back to 'the Red era'. *ugh* Remember those days? :(
Nothing against cars just the way people use them. There really is no need to drive a journey that takes 1-5 Min's. Nobody is that short of time.
So...you, want cars to do less work? I could get on board with that! :)
I wished that above would happen.
-
Wish granted, people are give a Segway for free to go short distances, unforturnately, auto-related deaths triples as these idiots are hard to see and too stupid to get out of the way.
I wish I had a real thunder hammer and stormshield
-
Wish granted. But you became the miniature.
I wish I can pilot a valkyrie soon!
-
Granted but the soonest happens to be the 41st millennium,
I wish the Icelandic ash cloud would stop bothering UK airspace.
-
wish granted but nows it's german ash,
i wish i had a greater knarloc
-
Granted, but it eats all your clothes.
I wish this was more awesome:
(https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi150.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs98%2FSanctjud%2FDSC07250.jpg&hash=af468f48538b2bfb42238c5bb3b6124414628b4e)
Cause I got it at the recent Anime Boston Convention...and I try to wear it everywhere...yes, funny looks follow.
-
not possible
i wish i had it
-
it is too small.
i wish i had codex:Eldar
-
Wish granted, then the new codex comes out at a cheaper price with better quality stuff.
I wish they churn out good codexes every time.
-
Granted, though you have to pay $34234 for each not codex and GW sets up spy cameras to see if you print them off the internet.
I wish for an Avatar-tech Porno (I read somehwere they are actually doing it)...
-
Granted, but it is elephant on pig action (yay southpark reference)!
I wish I had a good land lord.
-
Granted, he's a bit 'too' friendly. And welcome, I don't see you here often.
I wish for some elephant on pig action to watch with Grand Master Lomandalis.
-
Granted, it just happens though that Elephant & Pig are the nicknames that your "Uncle" gives to your mum and dad.
I wish the sun would come out tomorrow.
-
Granted, but within an hour of dawn the sun implode. Congratulations you just killed the whole world.
I wish currency went the way of star trek
-
Granted, but then some idiot rediscovers the Sub-Prime Mortgage. Hello crushing currency collapse, economic failure, and collapse of the Federation.
I wish my computer would stop overheating.
-
Granted, it explodes instead.
I wish my computer was built completely with top of the line products.
-
grantd, all the new pedobear 2010 updates are downloaded directly.
i wish i had money
-
Granted, you have millions. Pity it's all in Riechsmarks.
I wish my local paintball site was open on weekdays.
-
Granted, but you are the only person over the age of 20, everyone else that comes out to play is a loud obnoxious 11 year old kid.
I wish I was the sole winner of a 40 million canadian dollar lottory jackpot!
-
granted but tax goes up to 150% on lottery winnings so you now owe the canadian government 20million dollar
i wish photobucket would work
-
Granted, but the simplicity of the system confounds you and you still don't know how to work it.
I wish governments could operate effectively without requiring taxes.
-
granted but they clone sanct and he rapes everyone hourly
i wish my exams would go away
-
Granted, they go away by you being expelled from school
I wish for world peace and no alien invasion ;)
-
granted but i am the emperor of mankind and sanct goes horus on my ass thus ending peace in everywhere i have previously conquered except terra
i wish my dad would make up his mind and order me some resin and silicon
-
granted but they accidently send sanct instead
i wish people would stop corrupting wishes with sanct
-
granted but instead he is angered by this lack of worship and becomes an emo gimp like khorne
i wish i had the motivation to revise as opposed to respond to everything on here
-
wish granted but then you revise to much an die of sleep deprivation
i wish i had a fish
-
Granted *serves fish with a lovely butter sauce on a bed of new potatoes, and a nice parsley garnish*. Yes, I work in and out of a kitchen. Bon Appetite!
I wish I knew why people would want to belong to the Ordo Pedobearus, wihout being raped.
-
granted, you get your answer, then you get raped.
i wish more peole would read my story. :)
-
Granted, but the criticism is so much that you decide to off yourself
I wish I wasn't out of idea's for wishes.
-
Wish granted, however it becomes all consuming and you think of nothing else. Even long after you lose everything.
I wish there were fewer homeless people in the world
-
Granted, but the world has run out of space to use for mass hobo graves
I wish people wouldn't take as much offence to modly actions on this website
-
Granted, now all the members report grammatical errors en masse.
I wish the mods would burn the more deserving.
-
Wish granted, they throw the site into a G-Rated hellhole and ban anyone not in compliance immediately... starting with you
I wish fewer people got offended about things that are meant to entertain.
-
wish granted, but the only thing left that is entertaining is sanctjuds party van...
I wish I could have a sandwich on italian bread with pickles, lettuce, mayonnaise, turkey, swiss cheese, and cucumbers.
-
granted but you forgot the salt topping
i iwsh i had a cheese-it
-
Granted, however it is poisoned and you die from eating it.
I wish PedoSanct would stop masquerading as a member of the Ordo Pedobearus.
-
granted he isn't thats me
I wish i had a sheep
-
Granted but it is quickly taken away from you by PETA after a video of you wearing a kilt with the sheep appears on youtube
I wish they didn't change cookie monsters attitude towards cookies in sesame street
-
granted, but people grow scared of the fact your modly powers saved the cookie monster and eventually the tavern becomes deserted.
i wish that i would provoke less mods on less sites, the banhammer is not so coll.
-
Granted but your pedo antics causes all the mods to come and rape you
I wish the lost finale wasn't on at 5am in the UK
-
Wish granted--now it's at 4 am UK time. ;D
I wish that all my buddies would come on at the same time.
-
Wish granted, but unfortunately all your buddies con the mods into having you banned
I wish Spammers would just go away
-
granted, but the tavern dies
i wish i could sleep easyily
-
Wish granted, but you will never wake up again.
I wish that my posts on the Tavern Games would be counted as real posts......
-
Wish granted, but unfortunately, you are banned for spam.
I wish I was a hero.....member.
-
granted, but you die of old age just after
i wish more people had read my story
-
Granted, but the Black Library calls and demands more stories and you kill yourself from the pressure.
I wish I was a for reals Inquisitor Lord.
-
Granted but the whole world sides against you and dispatches you to the afterlife with a series of nukes
I wish that people stood for the same ideals I do in this world
-
Wish granted, however it is only 7 sad little nerdpersons, and the rest of the world stomps you out of existence~literally.
I wish I had Lightning Claws
-
granted, and i wont corrupt that cos i want them to
I wish i would doublecheck what i post
-
However you didn't and now have to put up with me!
I wish you could actually go a week without screwing up at a Tavern Game
-
granted, i have gone a week without screwing up a tavern game, but then i continue to do so and you get bored
i wish you would explain you really weird hate campaign against me, i dont worship pedobears, i only ally with them occasianlly
-
Granted, I don't hate you, it's just that you used to be the tavern newbie I could torment for giggles... sorry ;)
I wish for a new tavern newbie to make fun of..... (Vosrik I'm looking at you...)
-
granted, but vosrik turns out to be a tavern god
i wish i could become a tavern god
and fair enough VK :)
-
Granter. You are now the Tavern God of Cleaning up Vomit.
I wish i could fly.
-
granted, but i shoot you because i 'thought' you were a duck
i wish people would have more biscuits
-
Granted, but everyone gets fat from eating too many biscuits, and become diabetic. The increased strain on the world economy means the entire world goes bankrupt, riots break out, wars wage, and nuclear weapons are used. You are responsible for ending the world.
I wish i had a new pair of shoes.
I like this game :D
-
granted, but, a chinese child sies during the process of makin gthe shoes and you are burnt at he cross by hipies who believe it was a concious desicion on you rpart
i wish i was a giant marshmallow man
P.s it is a cool game, it went for 144 pages on the original site.
-
Granted, but it rains and you melt in slow, agonising pain.
I wish I could tap-dance.
p.s. It's pretty damned funny, thought the hardest part is coming up with a wish O.o
-
granted, but you suffer a lack of feet one day and can no longer do it.
i iwsh i had a wish
-
Granted, but your initial wish was granted by a genie who has now disappeared without explaining how you make your second wish, so whilst you have one, there's no way for you to use it.
I wish I existed within the internet.
-
granted but then you get a virus and people begin to hack you.
i wish I could draw anim ewithout having to practise
p.s i changed it cos i had posted that one before twice
-
Granted, but you are killed by haters
I wish that the Ordo Pedobearus had been more successful
-
Wish granted. However, you died at the battle of annal pass. :(
I wish I never said that...
-
Wish granted, however the truth haunts you and you end up like Loken, dying alone on a dead world, betrayed by those you called brothers.....
I wish that hadn't sounded so dramatic.....
-
(Darn it VK, you post ninja. was going to say something similar to what you said though.)
Wish Granted, but since it was not dramatic, Tangi does not see the reasoning behind his wish. Thus, he is forever trapped in a logic limbo.
I wish that wishes and the extraordinary does happen.
-
Granted. But someone wishes you never existed, and this causes the galaxy to collapse in on itself.
I wished i was in the Mad Max universe.
-
Granted, however your head is removed by a random biker dude and you end up as a decoration.
I wish people wouldn't whine about post ninjaing and be quicker
-
granted, but then you get ninjaed and can't complain about it
I wish for a billion dollars, to a bank acount with my name that i can access, from someone who can and chooses to give me one billion dollars, completely legally, and because it is fully anonymous, nobody knows how much money i have but i can spend as much of it as i want at any time
corrupt THAT!
-
Upon receiving your money, a random identity thief hacks your bank account and changes a few minor things to make the money looks stolen. Not only does aforementioned thief take your money, but you are sent to prison to share a cell with none other than PedoSanctjud. May God have mercy on your soul.
I wish I hadn't gone that far
-
(At least i wasn't a plaything for Lord Humungous).
DAMMIT.
Impyrocker is hurt by that, and never speaks to you again.
I wish I had super powers.
Edit:
"The amount of money you have and lack of goals drive you to depression. You feel empty, and disappointed with the fact that there is seemingly no point to your life. You consider suicide, and wish you were never born only for an Angel called Clarence to show you why you should keep on living. Moments after this realisation, a drunk driver runs you over, and you go to hell, with Devil-Clarence laughing at you."
Original
-
Wish granted, but it is given by the he who should not be named and thus you must be killed for heresy
I wish that he should not be name posts may post right after me. (we all know who it is...let us just hope)
-
Wish Granted. Only your internet dies seconds after you find out someone has replied, and you never see it.
I wish i knew who you meant.
-
Wish granted, you rang? Oh and if you meant Sanct, he's rather busy stalking the fool I handed the Ordo over to
I wish that Snack-D would stop being a Pedo
-
Wish granted but he comes in his van to do it from the behind, he has forsaken the light, that one has.
I really really wish that he never comes to my door.
-
Wish granted, however you are visited by Slurgle and are forever after Pedowingsofrazgriz1 . the remains of Ordo Pedobearus then destroy you
I wish I was the Emperor of Mankind
-
Granted but Games Workshop sues you for stealing their intellectual property and you end up destitute.
I wish people would spontaneously burst into song and dance in real life like they do in musicals.
-
Granted. But people spontaneously burst into song and dance like they do in musicals.
I wish i had a cat.
-
Granted, however it grows up to be a black panther that eats you in your sleep.
I wish I lived in Hawaii
-
Granted, but another earth quake creates a massive tsunami that only wipes out hawaii and alaska. Congratulations, welcome to paradise.
I wish my apartment had a working air conditioner.
-
Granted, however it gets so cold you freeze to death in your sleep
I wish I could concentrate on writing one story at a time
-
Granted but your intense concentration leads you to suffer a brain haemorrhage.
I wish more people would use the spell checker on this site.
-
Wish granted, however they end up with even worse grammar and you suffer an aneurysm and die in your rage.
I wish that I had a new Nightspinner tank
-
Granted but you accidentally build a fireprism and obliterate it with a hammer for being a mistake
I wish that someone at my local gaming club could beat me for a change
-
Granted, every time you turn up at your club from now on one the members beat you with a baseball bat.
I wish I would finish at least on of my armies and actually play a game.
-
Granted, but now nobody is there to battle you.
-
granted now i corrupt your wish
i wish that he had wished :)
-
granted but his wish was so awesome that noone could corrupt it and this thread dies.
i wish that i had more time to paint and that my exams would be over!
-
Wish granted but you fail your exams so your folks immolate your now fully painted army
I wish new grey knights would come before dark eldar
-
Granted, but you are required to listen intently to all the nerd rage from dark eldar players
I wish 8th ed fanstasy doesnt turn out to be a complete piece of amphetamine parrot
-
granted, it turns out to be an INcomplete peice of amphetamine parrot ;)
i wish i had more money
-
Granted, now an orphanage has run out of what little money they had to stay alive.
I wish for a GW store in Santiago de Chile.
-
Granted, after it is put in though, you are forced to move to Argentina... where GW doesn't exist.
I wish I had another $120 to finish my Orks up.
-
Granted, but all you got was $120 pesos, which don't even make a dollar.
I wish my wish was impossible to corrupt.
-
Granted, tell us what your wish is and we will see if it is impossible to corrupt.
I wish Games Workshop offered prize money for winning their tournaments.
-
Granted, but I win every tournament.
I wish for Sanct to go bye-bye.
-
granted but i replace him and you suffer in my van instead
i wish i had some marshmellows
-
Wish granted, but they caught fire.
I wish I had a REAL power sword.
-
granted but you accidentally kill yourself with it
i wish i didnt have to highlight your post to read it
-
granted, you dont have to... but if you dont, you still cant read it :P
i wish GW made their (secial)rules clear and easy to understand with no room for misconceptions (mawloc terror from the deep coversaves for example)
-
granted but the fair play means that stupid and annoying people, (namely chavs) take up the hobby and ruin it for you
i wish my camera had better battery life
-
Granted, but now your battery has run off with another battery and have a litter of average life batteries.
I wish the ultramarines movie is good enough to merit many more 40K movies (great ones).
-
wish granted, but it is so awesome that you cant stop watching it, even for bathroom breaks, so you die in your own feces
i wish i could sculpt hands and faces, they are so bloomin well hard
-
Granted but you still can't sculpt bodies, legs or feet.
I wish I could run faster than Usain Bolt
-
Granted, but your wish is short lived since after winning your first race you permanently break both ankles.
I wish the genie wasn't free anymore and that he came back to my rusty old oil lamp, but with an unlimited number of uncorruptable wishes only for me and people who won't ever betray me.
-
Granted, but he grows angry at his imprisonment and kills you.
I wish I was an Ork Warboss
-
granted, but i grow angry at your existance and kill you xeno scum :)
i wish i had more pedopowers
-
No one will ever grant that wish, as you cannot corrupt corruption
I wish my 20000 points of imperium would just spawn completeness
-
Granted, 20,000 points of Imperial models appear in your bedroom. Unfortunately as they arrive unexpectedly you tread all over them leaving you with 500 points.
I wish that radio stations would realise that playing Pop songs from different era doesn't actually offer the variety they claim.
-
Granted, but they start playing lullabies.
I wish that I was a master manga artist.
-
Granted but you only draw with white ink on white paper so nobody knows how good you actually are.
I wish I would stop procrastinating
-
Granted, but you become so focused you forget 40k entirely.
I wish I had more Orks, they rule
-
granted but i 'borrow' them cos i want orks to
i wish i had unlimited money
-
granted, however it is hidden in a secret swiss bank account that is so well hidden even you cant find it
i wish my dad would get his head out his own ass and start paying us >:(
-
Granted, he destroys all of you without hesitation
I wish The Elder Scrolls Oblivion wasn't so much stupid fun
-
granted but it now does not exist
i wish Forge World would have a 90% off sale on Titans
he destroys all of you without hesitation
wouldnt be surprised...
-
granted, but now they are made of my dry mangoo
i wish that would happen
-
Granted, but no one knows what dry mangoo is, nor do they want to know, therefore the titans are all disposed of in the worst way possible.
I wish I felt more like painting and modelling my armies and scenery.
-
Granted, however you lock yourself away and don't come out until the Zombie Apocalypse. You're army and scenery are useless.
I wish I had more Orks, cause more is better!
-
Granted, here have one more Grot
I wish people with faith would stop acting like faith is enough to justify murder.
-
Granted, but it is now established that faith and guns are enough to justify murder.
I wish that after the Zombie Apocalypse my family and friends were inside my Fortress of Honour, then we can play 40K whenever we're not fending off zombies.
-
Granted but during a particularly massive and interesting Apocalypse game you forget to shut the front door and the Zombies get in and turn out to be unbeatable at 40K.
I wish doughnuts had never been created.
-
granted but then homer simpson hunts you down with a pitchfork
i wish i could see that happen
-
Granted, but you forget about it immediately after (because of the MIB's flashy thingy).
I wish zombies only ate creationist's brains. Pretty sure they'd die (again) out not long after that.
-
Granted, but then real jesus comes down and proves that creationism is fact. And that all that do not find this true fact true will be shot for heretical thoughts.
I wish my wish will not be corrupted.
-
Granted...it'll just be 'altered' to my liking.....salty and covered in man goo.
I wish for Starky to return.... posting for two egos here is hard work... ;)
-
Granted, however he returns in a weakened state, and thus he eats you to regain his strength.
I wish the Tavern Apocalypse wasn't coming
-
granted, it arrives
i wish you would explain you reasoning behind the coming of the apocalypse, im not the cause i just help things along
-
Granted, Vanity Killer is an actual OMEN of DEATH. If he says it is coming then watch out. Unfortunately for you the Tavern Apocalypse only destroys the people that cannot spell very well.
I wish the people that say that they guessed the end of Lost during the first series would just admit that they didn't really understand the ending.
-
Granted, I go back in time and wipe Lost from existence. No need to worry now!
I wish I wasn't the Omen of Death, chicks don't like omens
-
you dont know the chicks i do
granted now you are a warning signal
i wish i had soem pizza
-
granted, you have a single crumb of pizza
i wish my twin swords became power weapons
-
Granted, but you don't know how to use them and in attempting to use them you end up horribly disfigured and incapable to use them. Then they got stolen, reverse engineered, and now war is a new kind of ugly.
I wish I got laid with a cute chick (real girl, not a "snip snip" tran) in my trip to Cancun.
-
granted you no have a strange obsesson with female poultry
i wish i knew how to use my powerswords (its too late to be origional)
-
Granted, but seeing as how you're already horribly disfigured (armless) and your powerswords have been stolen, its pointless.
-
granted and then i corrupt your wish so well your brains explode
i wish i could join the army
-
granted however the Nids invade shortly after and you get eaten by Rippers
i wish i Forgeworld wasnt so overpriced
-
Granted. Forgeworld now make all their products from expanded packing foam.
I wish work would hurry up and file my damn tax forms.
-
granted, then the next day you get fired.
I wish I had a man eating bagel in my IG army.
-
Granted, but it man eats your gardsman and tank crews leaving empty, unmanned tanks in your force
I wish godzilla existed and had a fight with king kong
-
granted but king kong steps on you and dies,
i wish violence was less funny
-
granted but now men only enjoy watching come dine with me
i wish jd would go back into scrubs
-
granted, but sopmeyhing decent comes on tv and they cancel the show
i wish i was paddington bear,
he'll score with the kiddies :)bagged in the van
-
granted but i brutally murder you for your disaproval of scrubs XD
i wish people would agree with me
-
Granted, but we all know that secretly you think you are an awful 40k player.
I wish that lawn grass didn't grow so damn quick in the Summer.
-
Granted, the sun goes supernova and the world is destoryed.
I wish I could fin my laptop bag
-
Wish granted. You find your laptop bag in the dump after it has been picked up, crushed, and shredded by the garbage trucks.
I wish I could write good plots for my stories...... :-\
-
Granted, but still not good enough unfortunately.
I wish that BP would get their act together and sort out that damn oil spill.
-
Granted but the next spill is 5 times more spectacular
I wish I had more time and money
-
granted but your in jail, enjoy serving your time, and having your money stolen
i wisjh i could get on more often lately
-
granted but your life colapses around you and you have nothing else to do so you are on here all day every day =)
I wish i had more black spray paint >=(
-
Wish granted, you have 40k tons of black spray paint. Then suddenly they all explode because they got too hot.
I wish that the black paint from the explosion didn't get on me. >:(
-
Granted non of the black paint touches you but some of the little plastic buttons on top go straight through both your eyes... I would write more but hey you can't see now.
I wish that there were more Bank Holidays in a year.
-
Granted, but they are only holidays for people who work at banks. And everybody has to pay the bank during said holidays, so you get a free day, but you have to pay for it.
I wish Alienscar's dark eldar had a neck :P.
-
Wish granted, but it grows so long that it hits the ceiling and makes the building collapse on you.
I wish people would post on the Procrastination Tavern.
-
Granted, but people are already procrastinating, therefore, "they'll post when they feel like it".
I wish tomorrow was past me already.
-
Granted you accidentally step on a time hole that transports you 24 hours forward in time. Unfortunately you land on your mother when you come out of the time warp thingy and accidentally stop yourself from ever being born.
Without anybody or anything dying as a consequence I wish flatulence didn't exist.
-
granted but because of all the excess gas inside everyone, everyone becomes REALLY fat =P
I wish my Chapter Master would stop dying to Guardsman flashlights
EDIT! now it makes sense =P
-
I wish my Chapter Master would stop dying to Guardsman flashlights
wish granted, but now he gets beat down by tau fire warriors in hand to hand combat every time you play tau
I wish i knew if a girl that i like actually liked me back (have fun with that one guys)
-
Granted, you know the truth about the girls feelings towards you and you discover that she hates 40k and anybody that post in forums.
I wish SwampyTurtle would ask the the girl how she feels about him and post the result on here.
-
wish granted. you get to listen to him whine about how she kicked his ass and left him in a ditch.
i wish i had all the models needed to actually finish the two armies i have.
-
Granted but the cost of building the armies has bankrupted your country.
I wish I was omnipotent!
-
granted but now you have to watch sanct 24/7
i wish i had the money to start an ork army.
-
Granted but they declare a waaaagh and as the attempt to run away fall into a drain outside your house
I wish that the rumour mill is wrong with what 40k codex comes next for once
-
granted but now gw doesn't know what to print. none of the armies ever get an update again.
i wish that there would be some event in the 40k universe to break the stalemate for once.
-
granted, but the good guys win and everyone lives happily ever after.
I wish i could afford a new sm army
-
granted but they melt as you decide display them in a magnifying glass cabinet
i wish i had some serious inspiration and motivation
-
like thats gonna happen.
i wish i was less apathetic.
-
granted, but your newfound empathy for other human beings forces devote all your time and money to helping the poor.
I wish i had an endless supply of sushi
-
Granted but my wild imagination causes a huge chain reaction to occur when you eat it and to cut the story short, you are poisoned, which causes you to block the drains (if you catch my drift) which causes the pipes to explode, thus disrupting a nuclear powerplant, which explodes and causes a chain reaction in exploding power stations which causes a nuclear winter and kills all life except cockroaches and footballers, because they are essentially the same entity
I wish people had as imaginative corruptions as me XD
-
granted, but the horribly creative corruptions they come up with tear a psychic hole in the fabric of space and time, causing twisted creatures to spill forth and enslave all of humanity until the end of time
i wish arrested development had a 4th season
-
granted but the entire season sucks progressively worse until you finally kill yourself after the season finale.
i wish there were more people who play bfg
-
Granted but they are dubbed as traitors by all 40k players who are forced to murder all bfg players in gladatorial combat
I wish people would look at my scratch built IG armys progression in the konversion board and actually post some feedback for once
-
granted, but the feedback is soooo bad you abandon both projects
i wish people would leave feedback on my stories,
-
granted but the same thing happens to you.
i wish people would give me a dollar for every time sanct got mentioned in the tavern.(lets face it i'd be rich)
-
granted but its from sancts personal supply of canadian dollars,
i wish i hadn't seen my name mentioned so many times in my absence
-
Granted, your name will now be completely overused only when you are present.
I wish for the Nightbringer's toga.
-
granted but it shrinks in the wash
i wish i had ultimate power
-
I'm sorry but I can't risk what would happen by granting that
I wish I didn't age
-
granted you remain a baby and in sancts clutches forever
i wish i had power of cananda, no-one cares about them
-
noone cares about you anyway...
i wish i had enough brittish pounds to buy Games Workshop =)
-
Granted and thanks to your great new schemes you draw everyone into the hobby with new low low prices, unfortunately there are too many people playing the hobby so we stop enjoying it
I wish GW would actually price their models toward the customers benefit, rather than the share holders
-
Granted, every model and unit is now priced as per their usefulness in the game, hence all the vehicles and monstrous creatures now cost at the 100$ range. No one plays Guard any more...
I wish that I owned a Land Raider.
-
Granted - but it's a model made by Toyota with dodgy brakes, you end up crashing through the front of your home and demolishing it when you try to park outside.
I wish I had a voice like James Earl Jones.
-
granted, but you love your new voice so much that you overuse so much you rip your vocal cords and can speak no longer.
I wish for a rat on a stick.
-
granted but through a series of blunders you wind up choking on the stick.
i wish for epic painting skills.
-
Granted, but the lessons cost you so much money you even had to sell the miniatures you already own... You now have nothing to paint.
I wish that I had something better to do then corrupt wishes at two AM in the morning
-
Granted, but its corrupting wishes at three am in the morning.
I wish Harry Potter was written by someone with more talent and who pays attention to little details like continuity and common sense.
-
Granted, harry potter no longer exists
I wish someone could motivate me
-
Granted, I motivate you to shoot yourself.
I wish that I had a triple-barreled shot gun.
-
Granted, but you have no shells
I wish the new GK would come out at christmas so that I can go and unleash my estimated £600 in them
-
granted but gw releases the de codex at the same time which powns the knights outright.
i wish for money to get me some grey knights.
-
Granted but a chav steals them as you walk out of the store
I wish I had the feel no pain special rule
-
granted but now you are a miniature and painted really badly and broken
i wish big brother would hurry up and end already
-
granted, with no corruption, its terrible and never should have started
i wish i had my estimated 24.5 million pounds to produce the first suit of power armour
-
granted but the suit is gonna cost seven times that much.
i wish for an exploding turtle.
-
Granted, yet he comes with no fuse or timer, so you can't actually blow it up.
I wish that I was actually fit enough to be recruited as a space marine...
-
granted but you suffocate in your own neck muscles.
i wish that i had all the space marine chapters organized by legion of origin.
-
granted, so do i
i wish you had a better avy
-
granted, so do i =D
i wish my new recruit wouldnt love WoC so much =S
-
Granted, now he loves beasts of chaos
I wish I could create things with my thoughts
-
granted but your corneas start bleeding after the first couple of words.
i wish that i had a license to kill.
-
Granted here's your licence allowing you to be a pest controller.
I wish people would stop driving at 45mph when the speed limit is 60mph.
-
Granted, people now drive at 20mph
I wish day time tv wasn't so terrbile
-
granted, now its crap 24/7
i wish for a nemesis force weapon.
-
Granted but the grey knight I stole it from will kill you to get it back
I wish for a pile of awesome
-
granted but it came from sancts ass.
i wish for the 13'th cadia.
-
Wish granted, they turn on you and destroy you with their Manticore
Crayons Rockets.
I wish that I would win a tournament sometime.
-
granted but the disgruntled runner jumps you on the way home.
i wish that i could win the 'ard boyz tournament
-
Wish granted, you win but you are so good that they don't allow you to game anymore.
I wish that I could participate in the 'Ard Boyz contest int the first place...
-
granted but you come in last. the resultant depression causes you to commit suicide.
i wish i knew what the below poster is thinking.
-
Wish Granted. However, learning the conten ts of my thoughts causes you to gouge out your eyes with a plastic spork, drill a hole in your skull and Clorox your own brain in deperation to remove what has been seen.
I wish my back was no longer broken so I could lead a normal life
-
Granted, but being normal sucks
I wish for strength.
-
granted. the increase raises your strength stat from 12 to 13 so it doesnt help your modifier and you now have to fight the Terask. (I know DnD on a 40K forum....i should be shot)
I wish Dawn of War 2 included Imperial Guard as a campaign playable race
-
Granted but you only get average joe guardsmen and the get pwned by everything
I wish GW would announce new DH (I can see why DE players turned into whinny be-atches now XD)
-
Granted, but depending on your meaning of GW, one of two things could happen:
1: George Washington rises from the dead
2: Games Workshop announces the arrival of the new models, but you have no money to buy them and they get recalled shortly after they are released.
I wish that the Dark Eldar players would figure out that whining about getting a new codex is not going to speed up the process that is going to happen later on in the year anyway.
-
They do, but they still whine anyways because it's fun.
I wish Wraithguard were just a LITTLE bit cheaper, money wise. Not TOO much cheaper, just a LITTLE bit cheaper.
-
granted but now they have bb=een removed off the shelves permantaly just to spite you
i wish i could do that
-
Granted, but then Blazinghand kills you for it.
I wish that the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya was out on DVD right now...
-
Granted, but it's only on Blu-Ray and your player is broken / doesn't exist.
-
granted, now you live in my van
i wish i had a wish
-
Granted, but you unwittingly create a paradox.
I wish people would stop making paradoxes.
-
granted, i do it instead p.s i don't count as a people
i wish i did however
-
Granted but since you are referred to by a plural word you turn into Smeagol/Gollum and die at Mount Doom.
I wish the spider in your nightmares would stop dissecting my posts.
-
granted, i wasn't anyway, or was i (dun dun dun)
i wish it would be explained how i dissected your post, (scalpel, laser tool, cos i reallly want to do it again :) )
-
wish failed :(
i wish i had the ability to transform
-
Granted, but you can only transform into a young bison. Which is sort of cool, but not very useful.
I wish for wisdom.
-
Granted, you gain so much that your head explodes.
I wish that FOR ONCE AT LEAST we could finish an RPG...
-
wish granted, i also share that wish
i wish for once it would outlast a week
-
Granted, it goes on forever without end and you die of boredom.
I wish that Kristovich would come back to continue Awoken...
-
Wish granted, it then gets cancelled.
I wish Fox would ask Joss Whedon to continue Firefly
-
granted, but the skimp on their writers and are killed by an angry mob two days later.
i wish for a crate of nuclear tortoises.
-
Granted, but they explode in your face upon arrival.
I wish lightsabers were real.
-
granted but the head hunters guild gets pissed off about the flooded market for decapitation. your shrunken skull appears seven days later on my battle standard.
i wish that i was the president of the assassins guild.
-
granted but i assasinate you for the postion
i wish i had a bunny
-
Granted, you get a bunny but it is an evil bunny and it bites your fingers and toes off.
I wish my birthday would come soon...(it's August 9th btw ;D)
-
granted, you get sucked into your mother and are reborn.
i wish that i didn't think about that too hard.
-
granted now you can't think
i wish i ahd awesome converting skills so i could make my stealer cult list
-
Granted, but you lack the patience, hence never actually get around to doing it.
I wish Starcraft 2 would just manifest in my room and that I didn't have to stand in line with a bunch of fanboys.
-
Granted, but you lack the patience, hence never actually get around to doing it.
you have no idea how true that is
granted but the fans boy's stalk the room
-
I wish you could play a game you created right...... you suck again.
-
granted but then i point out your many failings at this game as well
i wish ..... (insert wish here)
-
Wish granted, and you fade into randomness.
I wish he had wished properly.
-
Granted, his wish was that I shoot you. Now hold still.
I wish I had a bigger gun
-
Granted, but its effectiveness does not increase with size.
I wish for nobility.
-
Granted, your blood turns blue and you die of copper poisoning in your blood.
I wish Starcraft 2 took less time to install.
-
Granted, but your battle.net account gets hacked and your CD key with it.
I wish for a hobbit house in Ireland :D
-
Granted, but it's full of angry kobolds.
I wish for power.
-
granted, you have the power to do absolutely nothing
i wish for some foods (no poison thats just not cool)
-
Granted, but the only food you get for the rest of your life is pickled asparagus.
I wish I had more motivation to paint.
-
Granted, but all you can paint is pickled asparagus.
I wish for more green tea.
-
:o Green Tea? Yuck! That wish is already as corrupt as it gets.
I wish I had some pickled asparagus to paint in my chapter colours.
-
Granted but i eat it.
I wish my keyboard worked =s
-
Granted, but the rest of your computer comes down with a case of what some call "the Hindenburg syndrome."
I wish I could find out more about the Barghesi
-
Granted, however the Barghesi and the Reavers turn out to be the same thing and they rape you to death, eat your flesh and sew your skin into their clothing..... Just not in that order...... they save death for last.
I wish I had my own transport ship and wily crew to ply the 'Verse with.
-
granted but its infested by genestealers.
I wish i had some ideas
-
Granted, but they are terrible.
I wish for a world without injustice. And some money. I'd like that, too.
-
Granted but your money causes injustice and you are destroyed by Paradox.
I wish for better ideas.
-
Granted but your idea is to recreate the manhattan project, but times 1000
I wish I had a 40000 point guard army
-
Granted but it's all painted bright pink and smells eternally of cow dung.
I wish I didn't need to sleep.
-
granted. but you die of fatigue three years latter.
i wish that gw would stop with the price hikes. seriously i dump more money in the gw than at the gass station. :P
-
Granted. I agree :)
I wish that the Island of Blood starter box was free =)
-
pfft... like thats gonna happen.
i wish for more optimism.
-
Granted, but you don't actually have THAT much optimism, you just think you do.
I wish for some nicer weather in this area.
-
granted, it's so sunny that your cooked alive when you go outside.
i wish for an epic guard hoard army.
-
Granted, but as soon as you complete it, GW comes out with Codex: SMurfzilla! where one Space Marine can wipe out entire epic hoards of guardsmen standing on one, power armored foot while folding power armored laundry ...and then codex creep starts all over with guard at the bottom.
I wish I had an air conditioner.
-
granted, you have a bottle of hair conditioner made entirely of oxygen.
I wish that people would stop using this thread as a GW price rant.....
-
Granted, but instead it turns into a gw codex rant.
I wish for a personal army to do my bidding.
-
granted, you have an army of armless teddy bears to do your bidding.
I wish for a cool new design for the monolith so that it can actually fit on a skimmer base.
-
wish granted, but the new design is even worst than the old design and the stand breaks under the weight.....
I wish somehow i didnt know now,what i didnt know then ?
-
Granted, we somehow start this thread all over again
I wish for MORE!
-
Granted, but less is more.
I wish for flight.
-
granted but your plane is delayed
i wish i had a cannoness
-
Granted, you now have a psychotic woman forcing you to pray to the emperor three times a day, drags you along on witch hunts, and get both of you arrested after pulling a flamer out on a street magician. Outraged that the citizens of your planet would dare lock up their cannoness, a whole army of witch hunters makes landfall and declares war on our planet and slaughter untold amounts of people before claiming the planet in the name of the imperium. Good Job!
I wish that I was actually cool.
-
granted but i burn you as a heretic.
Granted, you now have a psychotic woman forcing you to pray to the emperor three times a day, drags you along on witch hunts, and get both of you arrested after pulling a flamer out on a street magician. Outraged that the citizens of your planet would dare lock up their cannoness, a whole army of witch hunters makes landfall and declares war on our planet and slaughter untold amounts of people before claiming the planet in the name of the imperium. Good Job!
right and the problem there is???????????
i wish that would happen :)
-
Earth now belongs to the Imperium, and you get drafted into the Imperial Guard. They put you on the front lines of a chaos invasion, and pretty soon you end up being captured by Noise Marines because they feel like having something to "play" with, and because they're feeling generous, they let the plague marines "play" with you too. I won't begin to describe the diseases and mental damage you have received.
I wish that women found my attractive....
-
granted, but they dont know what you want to find attractive so they kill themselves in confusion
Earth now belongs to the Imperium, and you get drafted into the Imperial Guard. They put you on the front lines of a chaos invasion, and pretty soon you end up being captured by Noise Marines because they feel like having something to "play" with, and because they're feeling generous, they let the plague marines "play" with you too. I won't begin to describe the diseases and mental damage you have received.
again problem is where??????
i wish i had a better answer
-
Granted, but other people are greatly dismayed.
I wish I had a huge cup of OJ
-
Granted but the OJ is actually made out insect guts.
I wish my wish wont get corrupted.
-
Granted, you are killed before you find out whether or not it was corrupted.
I wish it wasn't so easy to corrupt sometimes.....
-
Granted but now you cant think of anyway to corrupt a wish.
I wish somebody would put out Blazinghand's blazing hand.
-
wish granted, but now its airborne.
I wish orks had initiative 4.
-
Granted, they have I4 but WS, S and T of 1
I wish for snow.
-
Granted, there is snow everywhere, but it's all yellow.
I wish my animal crackers tasted better.
-
Granted, but they only taste MARGINALLY better.
I wish I could create matter at will.
-
Granted, but it falls on you and you die.
I wish I knew what the hell a Lazerous Penguin is.
-
Granted but the image is so horrificly disgustng that you want it out of your head.
I wish mouloks had a toughness of 1.
-
granted but i dont know what your on about
i wish i could read L77T (leet)
-
Granted. however it is all you can read and no one uses it leaving you illiterate..... still.
I wish I had a newbie to beat on, nom's no fun anymore.
-
granted, blazinghand,poddroppa jawmonkey
i wish i had my vengeance
-
granted, your vengence was sweet, but why did you have to kill "all" the smurfs.
I wish I was a little bit taller.
-
Granted. Due to unforeseen side effects in some new widely developed vaccines, you grow around three inches taller. However, so does every single one of the other billion or so people who got vaccinated, and so the height ratio stays the same.
I wish that I was so awesome, people would have to shield their eyes whenever I walk into a room.
-
granted but because i have the power to make you awesome i do the same to myself nd make you claw out your own eyes due to my awesomenesss
i wish i could set my army of smurfs onto james fett (Grumbles) edit my name will you.
-
Granted. After hours and hours of endless work and tear-causing frustration, you set down every last of your smurf models on james fett, making sure everyone is balanced correctly and in unit coherency, except for the stupid one who keeps falling of james right shoulder. He sneezes and your work is ruined. You have lost sic hours of your life. Congradulations.
I wish the I knew what to wish for, and had an additional wish with which to wish for said thing I would wish for, now that I know what to wish for.
-
Granted, but you use it to wish for delicious carrots. Although delicious, it is a waste of a wish.
I wish I was a good cook.
-
granted, you get a job, but someone not nameing
sanct names has replaced your salt with something salty and liquidy you use on a customers plate and get fired from the job. sanct then follows you down a dark alley and the end is already well known
i wish it was enrolement already
-
Wish granted, but unfortunaly you enrolled for the sanct van grand tour!
I wish i didnt have 5 sections of math +3 test / quizes to do before wed. :'(
-
Granted but now you have a physics test tommorow.(thats right your in school already)
I wish i could speak both arabic and german.
-
granted but you speak the german both in the presence of a bitter world war two survivor and he shoots you
i wish i had had i better corruption
-
Wish granted but your so courrpted by now that even the chaos gods wouldnt want to try to touch you. Yes even nurgle....
I wish i had a better indication of whether or not I would pass this stupid math class come christmas
-
Granted but now you find out you wont pass english class.
I wish somebody would make swampy turtle into turtle soup.
-
Wish granted but as an endangered species this angers animal rights activists who hunt you down.
I wish I could teleport
-
Granted but you end up in the warp.
I wish i had a 44. magnum.
-
Wish granted but it comes with 8 hungry Genestealers, it's a 6 shot revolver. You do the math....
I wish I had power armour
-
Granted but no you cant get out of it to take a crap.
I wish i had 2 .44 magnums to fight off those 8 hungry genestealers.
-
Granted but now the genestealers have extended carapaces.
I wish my car was a Rhino.
-
Granted but now chaos has taken away your metal bawks.
I wish my priest at church was a SoB.
-
Granted but now he executes you for being a heretic.
I wish my sister wasn't so damn annoying.
-
Wish granted but you now have an insane brother who likes the idea of you and fire.
I wish I was a shapeshifter
-
Granted but you can only turn into a fluffy bunny.
I wish i had rabbit soup.
-
Granted but the bits cause you to choke.
I wish someone would delete this thread ;)
-
Granted but somebody will start up corrupt a wish 1.5
I wish robot chicken came on every night.
-
Granted, but whoever owned robot chicken sold it to the Disney Channel. You know what that means.
I wish my father-in-law wasn't such an rather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean?.
-
Granted but now hes Japenese.
I wish I had 3 more wishes.
-
Granted but then I take 4 away.
I wish pod droppa would stop playing SM and switch to IG instead.
-
granted but then they became obselete like those poor squats
i iwsh every second wish wasn't about the destruction of this thread
-
Granted but then this thread would die due to lack of use
I wish for a cupcake
-
Granted bt now its a fruit cupcake
I wish jobob will stop trying to take my pods away
-
Granted. You know have to stick with them for the rest of your life. Mwahahahaha!
I wish I had enough money to buy an Eldar army.
-
Granted but you have no glue to put it together.
Oh thanks for lettin me keep my drop pods ;D
I wish i could get enough money for a tau army.
-
Granted, but your soul-sucking middle manager job that you took to get the money gradually destroys you. You come home tired, your wife grows alternately bored and angry with you. Your kids resent you-- secretly, at first, then more and more openly. You can't make it to your son's football games because of work. He becomes more and more despondent and stops playing. His grades slip. He's no longer a jock, no longer a popular kid. Even the "losers" won't hang with him for his previous crimes against them. He is, more than anyone else at his school, Alone. Despite it all, it makes him stronger. He will overcome this difficulty, but never his hatred for you, the distance he feels from that man he calls "father," a word ever more devoid of meaning.
Your neighbors are all happier than you. Your marriage is falling apart... but there aren't any arguments. No, you never argued. She would just smile and bear it. But that silence was a deadly one, one not borne from understanding, but acceptance of the truth-- you are married because it's less effort than getting a divorce. Her parents hate you. She hates you. She only stays with you for the kids. Who hate you.
But you have enough money for the tau army, and that once a week when your 40k club meets, you feel alive, young, energetic again. And sometimes you miss your old pod-dropping days, when you were young and foolish and poor and full of life every day and in love with her, and live, and 40k.
I wish for a bigger house.
-
granted but its so big you cant pay for it then you lose it and liove in a cardboard box
i wish for a stealer cult update
-
Granted but its worse than you thought
OH!! and blazinghand
Granted, but your soul-sucking middle manager job that you took to get the money gradually destroys you. You come home tired, your wife grows alternately bored and angry with you. Your kids resent you-- secretly, at first, then more and more openly. You can't make it to your son's football games because of work. He becomes more and more despondent and stops playing. His grades slip. He's no longer a jock, no longer a popular kid. Even the "losers" won't hang with him for his previous crimes against them. He is, more than anyone else at his school, Alone. Despite it all, it makes him stronger. He will overcome this difficulty, but never his hatred for you, the distance he feels from that man he calls "father," a word ever more devoid of meaning.
Your neighbors are all happier than you. Your marriage is falling apart... but there aren't any arguments. No, you never argued. She would just smile and bear it. But that silence was a deadly one, one not borne from understanding, but acceptance of the truth-- you are married because it's less effort than getting a divorce. Her parents hate you. She hates you. She only stays with you for the kids. Who hate you.
But you have enough money for the tau army, and that once a week when your 40k club meets, you feel alive, young, energetic again. And sometimes you miss your old pod-dropping days, when you were young and foolish and poor and full of life every day and in love with her, and live, and 40k.
That hurt. I mean that hurt a lot. :'( :'(
-
Well pod droppa didn't wish for anything so
I wish to steal his wish.
-
Wish granted, but he didn't wish for anything, so you've stolen nothing.
I wish for a steadier hand.
-
Granted, but now you have arthritis.
I wish people would stop corrupting my wishes.
-
Granted, but ive already wished for that so shut up.
I wish i had Jobob will fix my roof for free.
And you 2 better do a good job to! >:(
I wish blazinginghand will replace my kitchen tiles for free.
-
Granted but I did a really crappy job.
I wish pod droppa would stop playing Space Marines.
-
Granted, but now he's playing Chaos.
I wish for love.
-
Granted, but now he's playing Chaos.
I wish for love.
Granted. He likes your butt.
I wish to win the lottery.
-
wish granted, but not only do you win the lottery, but so does everybody, because of a virus that made everyone play the same numbers no matter what they put on there ticket, so congratulations your £1 richer, but if you consider your expenses ( £1 for the ticket) you actually broke even.
I wish i could read minds
-
Granted but no you cant hear people talk.
I wish Jobob and my army worked together to stop blazinghand's trail of blazing doom
-
granted, you stop his trail of doom, but not his path of ultimate destruction....
I wish I magically understood other people's inside jokes and found the funny.
-
Granted. You never stop laughing. Ever.
I wish I had heat vision.
-
wish granted, but it burns out your retina
I wish i had powers to read peoples minds
-
Granted, but all the voices in your head drive you crazy...
I wish I had a psychologist.
-
I wish I had a psychologist.
Granted. You always have someone caring for you in the asylum.
I wish i contracted the obliterator virus
-
Granted but for reasons only you know your weapon merges with your penis, as you can no longer pee your bladder explodes inside you and you die.
I wish my job payed more than it does.
-
granted it pays one albanian lica more. :)
i wish i could get hold of second ed rules
-
granted, the rules come written on the back end of a hungry carnifex. Happy birthday.
I wish that I had the coolest, non-cheesiest yet most awesome and most interesting space marine army in the entire universe.
-
Granted. But then I take it from you.
I wish my army was painted.
-
granted but then i coat it in petrol and let the flames begin
i iwsh i had a fish
-
Granted but now it gets cooked the way you dont like it.
I wish Santa would stop soking pot at the mall.
-
Granted, He switches to heroin instead.
I wish I had a higher post count.
-
granted but then you get banned for SPAMMING
i wish i hadn't accidently caught the caps lock
-
Granted but now your keyboard's broken so you can never type in non caps again.......
I wish nomstuff would stop yelling.
-
Granted, he starts speaking in calm, articulate matter, and his speech become so beautiful that all women on the planet love him, and hence, you cannot find a woman to fornicate with and die without passing on a genetic heritage, hence denying any effect you could have on future generations.
I wish for tasty and nutritious green eggs and ham
-
Granted, but they're green and look all icky.
I wish I could bend matter to my will.
-
Granted but now the governments find you a threat to the world and end up killing you.
I wish pyskers were real.
-
Granted but you are one and you get possessed by a warp demon.
I wish GW would stop selling drop pods.
-
Granted but poddroppa kills you
i wish i was one of the lost primarchs
-
Granted but seeing how your lost nobody can find so you cant show off you epicness.
I wish for a cookie.
-
Granted but it's oatmeal raison... ugh :P
I wish for brownies.
-
granted but peopel are sick of brownies being mentioned and shoot you
i iwish this cat wouldn't help me type
-
Granted, but the cat instead helps you drive. Ruh roh.
I wish I had something to eat.
-
Granted, but its brownies!
I wish for a pet squig.
-
granted but it eats your face
i wish for cheese
-
granted but i behead you affix it to a pike and flay you to use as the banner, i need realism for my chaos tau
i wish for a gretchin
-
granted but it shoots you in the back
I wish i understood nom's obsession with taking my head
-
Granted, but with understanding comes empathy. And hate leads to the dark side. ???
I REALLY wish I had something to eat. That isn't brownies.
-
granted but its bladelords head :)
i wish for bladelords head, my dark elves are in need of a prize:)
-
Granted but my name has changed again so its someone elses head ;)
I wish Nom had something better to do (which dosent involve chopping off my head)
-
i do, i'm practising the guitar at the minute :)
i mean granted but i get someone else to do it
i wish i hd some real cola
-
Granted. It comes with a happy meal from McDonalds, so you get a heart attack from the cholesterol and die. To cheer your dead self up, at least the children's toy in the happy meal was Grand Master Sanguinius's head (he did say he'd get someone else to do it)
I wish for a shoe
-
granted but i have the other one
i iwhs i had a very sharp blade for doing something with ...
-
You already have one. It's embedded in your chest, and will reach your heart in 30 minutes.
I wish I wasn't still f***ing hungry.
-
dude i wont corrupt that as i'm starving as well and i'm looking after my friends house so i don't really want to raid the fridge :)
i wish i didn't use the word dude
-
Granted, but now you're not cool anymore. Dude.
I wish my epoxy dried faster.
-
granted, but it dries in seconds leaving it unworkable
Granted, but now you're not cool anymore. Dude.
i was cool, ?????
i wish i had an answer
-
The answer is no. About everything.
I wish shaving was faster.
-
granted, but you end up testing a fan with razorblades attached, needless to say its a messy end :)
i wish i had some more food
-
You change to "Bro"
I wish for the ability to create time so I can get all my amphetamine parrot done in time.
-
granted but you have to barter your soul to gain it, and memory. when you gain it you slow time to almost a crawl and forgot how to turn it back dooming us all
i wish i had true immortality
-
Granted. When nuclear war happens in 10 years, you are alone for all eternity. At first you begin to go mad, and then you begin to tinker, to build, in order to occupy your mind. You spend centuries recreating all of science and producing great works of art, music, and architecture by your own hand. When the aliens finally come, they find a planet restored to verdant beauty, safeguarded by one traumatized, mad, brilliant, benevolent and creative survivor of the Human Race.
I wish for some pudding.
-
granted, i give you pudding for guessing how i would react to nuclear holocoust
i wish i could play this bass my friend lent me
-
Granted, but the entire time it screams as you play, "HELP ME, HELP ME! OH GOD PUT ME BACK IN THE WATER"
I wish I could come up with as cool of responses as blazinghand
-
Granted but now every thing you say is negative and people will begin to shun you. This will cause you to retract from society and you will soon join a cult of rejects that every year they sacrifice the most pecimistic person of the cult which is you.
i wish i had bacon
-
granted but you have to personally slaughter the pig
i wish i was happier :(
-
Granted but then a commisar yells at you and now your sad
(I dont mind killing pigs im in the process of getting my hunting licsence)
I wish i was talkative
-
granted, but after a while you realse your only talkative so that people will like you.
i wish i was less bored
-
Granted but now you now have to much stuff to do.
I wish you would stop constantly posting.
-
granted, but i ask for a good reason :)
btw i'm posting so much cos i have nothing to do today and im looking after someone elses house so i have to stay in.
i wish poddda had an answer
-
Granted my answer isn't good enough and i apologize.
I wish everybody here would become a member of the ABN committee
-
granted, i'm up for director nxt week
i truly wish i could do smaoething a half eleven at night
-
wish granted but the elf turns out to be a dark eldar whom steals your soul leaving you a shell of a man
I wish that Hekkastor hadnt corrupted my wish on page 27 of this thread :'(
-
Granted, we somehow start this thread all over again
I wish for MORE!
granted, but nothing
i liked that page it was awesome, hekkastor curropted my wishes and i asked where the problem with that corruption
i wish i had more fish
-
Granted but it smells so bad you cant go near it.
I wish for poison brownies.
-
Granted, but seeing as you didn't specify the poison to be used in said brownies, its only causes mild irritation of the scalp to its victims.
I, instead, wish for lethal poisoned cake!
-
granted but you didn't specify what the cake looked like so you accidently eat it and die :)
I wish i'll get up in time tommorow for college
-
Granted but you didnt realise your schedule was changed so you got up early when you could have slept in.
I wish for a horrible nightmare.
-
granted, i folllow you down a dark alley and do horrible unspeakable things. all your dreams are nightmares from now on :)
i wish for an explanation of that wish
-
granted, the explanation mind-****s you, and you end up wishing for nightmares because they're better than what you now experience at night. Congrats.
I wish my imaginary girlfriend was real
-
granted, so do i, i mean and she is a man
as a thought i got told i was a true dark elf player the other day they were on about non-expendable troops and i laughed and said ' there are troops that aren't expendable' :)
i wish i had a soul.
-
Granted but its empty and dark
I wish the dinosaurs would be destroyed
-
granted, i destroyed years ago when i was a mere two thousand years old
i iwsh i was an incubi
-
Granted but you dont get to sodomize your prisoners
I wish i was a Grey Knight
-
Granted but you get possessed and everyone hates you for being the first chaos grey knight, and the chaos hate you coz you were a grey knight and it is so bad that GW discontinue the Deamonhunters.
I wish i had enough money for all the shiney new Elves =]
-
granted i wish i had more elves
-
Granted, elves are cool
i wish for food that wont kill me or have any ill effects to myself or anyone else i know or even dont know
-
what abut people you ttechnically know but don't ?????
granted the driver delivering swerves off the road and dies, i'm sorry but it's poison for you
i wish for chips
-
Granted but you are sick from eating too many and throw up all over your models... While paint is drying. so you now have vomit on your models that is secured there by paint =D
I wish for the pope to stop being a hypocrite. We all know he supported the nazis before he became a christian.
-
granted, :)
i wish that th whole catholic system wasn't rotten to the core :)
-
Granted. You now live in the time before Emperor Constantine II edited the Bible to make it more acceptable to the people
I wish he had been strangled at birth
-
granted but now the world as we now it is completley different he bible was never written and the pope is a jew :)
i wish it wouldn't get offensive/flamey
-
granted but now the world as we now it is completley different he bible was never written and the pope is a jew :)
actually the bible would have stayed the same as when Jesus origionally wrote it =D
i wish it wouldn't get offensive/flamey
Granted but you are banned anyway =]
I wish for sleeps
-
granted, but you never wake up.
i wish for morgan freemans voice :)
-
Granted but you are killed by has fans because you stole his voice
I wish the Gamesday model didnt look like he wants a hug
-
granted, i take from you and you never see it again :)
i wish i had that model :)
-
Granted. you get it with your mail order. and i have 2 so i dont care =D
I wish GW would make new models for all the models that look like they just wanna be hugged.
-
failed, everyone wants to be hugged, even sexuallly confused fishnet wearing evil space rapists from inside another reality
i wish i wasn't the only one who realised you can fail wishes :)
-
Granted. but you cant. the end
I wish he had some sense
-
granted but the gods them selves puzzle at this conundrum and in doing so neglect the world and we all die :)
i wish people wouldn't wish for my sense
-
Granted because we all know it is pointless
I wish that the Space marines were real
-
granted but you fall foul of a heretic one :)
i wish the below poster was a fish
-
Granted but im a shark and i omnomnom on you
I wish The clinically insane one would change his name back to Nom because of all the references i made to "nomstuff" in various threads
-
granted but if it was out of the tavern then you spammed :)
i iwsh that corruption was indeeed a corruption
-
granted. but then the world ends
I wish for treacle pudding
-
granted aber es ist poisened
i iwsh i could speak german better
-
granted but the pope shoots you for being a nazi
I wish you could spell
-
Granted, i can spell when i take my time posting
i wish i had used proper punctuation
-
??? i think you did...
I wish i was not wrong
-
granted but i wont edit my post and this boards mod is to lazy :)
i wish i was a mod :)
-
Granted but you accidently ban yourself
I wish i knew how to become a mod
-
granted, you have to be elevated by a mod, by being helpful, useful and in the right place at the time when they need a new one :)
-
Granted but it means i get £500 billion.
i wish that after i become a mod, mods start getting paid £500 Billion
-
granted but if they get paid
i wish i was a mod again :)
-
but you are not... allowed to post the same thing twice on the same page =]
I wish i knew if that was right
-
granted, it's a hit and miss thing as it's my thread :)
i wish i knew a gingerbread man :)
-
granted but you eat it
I wish i didnt have to go to school tomorrow =[
-
granted you have college instead :)
i iwsh i did have college tommorow
-
granted as college education sucks.
I wish i had uni instead
-
granted, cept uni don't do what you wnat
i wish i knew what i wanted to do with my life :)
-
Granted, you want to shovel amphetamine parrot for a living =D
I wish for a large hadron collider
-
granted vbut it breaks :)
i prasie wishing for confusion
-
granted, im confused
I wish you would remember not to mix games - bad juju
-
granted, i just don't play them right
i wish i had the fryer out
-
granted but its on fire
I wish for something better to do
-
granted as do i
i wish for internet cookies
-
but you cant get any if you fail!
I wish for a genie
-
granted, but that's your first wish expended already
I wish that I had more orks
-
Granted. You have two more orks.
I wish I had a better hat.
-
Granted but it makes everyone around you think your gay.
I wish more people played Panoceania
-
granted but everyone plays it now and the world stops turning :)
i wish i could trust myself to get up in the morning
-
Granted but then your alarm is hurt by your neglegence and gets back at you by sleeping with your girlfriend.
I wish i could sleep in.
-
granted but you never wake up again
i wish i currently had a girlfriend for my alarm to betray me with :)
-
Granted, but she's ugly.
I wish my schizophrenic neighbor would shut the beslubber up at 7 o clock every morning, instead of yelling at demons for two hours. FML. I really want to murder this guy with a blunt instrument...
-
Granted but you are put into jail for life with a schizophrenic cell mate
I wish i had a cat
-
granted but its as annoying as this one
i wish that some religopus nut that started praying at six every morning right nest to my aunts house didn't
-
Wish granted, but now at 6:00am he prays in front of your house every morning.
I wish that all goalkeepers were this confident.
The Most Silly Goalkeeper Ever Funny Penalty 09.09.10 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1Myxwts1A&feature=player_embedded#)
-
wish granted but then the game of soccer is canceled for being so boring
I wish that i wasnt doing my demonstration speech on how to play warhammer 40k
-
Granted, you're doing your demonstration speech on how to play Guitar Hero like a Real Rockstar! I hope you're proud of yourself.
I wish that my Necrons knew how to dance
-
granted but they are alve so they harvest you
i wish the below poster was me
-
Granted but since im you i believe that im the real one and begin to hunt you down who is actually me so i would be killing you but that would also mean im killing me who is actually you and...and..and...an d..and..... NOW IM COFUSED SOYOUR ACTUALLY YOU ARE CONFUSED. HAHAHA >:( ;D :'(
-
Granted, pod droppa is now blank....
I wish pod droppa actually had wished for something
-
Granted
I wish i wouldnt forget to wish for something
-
granted
i wish the below poster was something other than gravity
-
Pardon!
I wish that my waterproof clothing didn't leak.
-
failed as you didn't answer my wish
i wish someone had answered my wish
-
Granted, rather than gravity, the below poster is actually a psychotic three hundred pound nun who beat you to near death with a cross made of lead and then brainwashes you into becoming a celibate monk. Have fun.
I wish that I had the famed Boots of Buttkicking strapped on my feet and ready to go!
-
Granted, rather than gravity, the below poster is actually a psychotic three hundred pound nun who beat you to near death with a cross made of lead and then brainwashes you into becoming a celibate monk. Have fun.
I wish that I had the famed Boots of Buttkicking strapped on my feet and ready to go!
wish granted, but there so big you cant walk in them
I wish that Hekkastor would stop courrpting my wishes
-
Granted, rather than gravity, the below poster is actually a psychotic three hundred pound nun who beat you to near death with a cross made of lead and then brainwashes you into becoming a celibate monk. Have fun.
I wish that I had the famed Boots of Buttkicking strapped on my feet and ready to go!
wish granted, but there so big you cant walk in them
I wish that Hekkastor would stop courrpting my wishes
Granted. I'll stop being an rather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean? eventually. The approximate time is around five wishes.
I wish that I knew how to fish/hunt swampy turtles.
-
Granted but the swamp has mutated them into giant monsters and you didnt expect this so the swampy turtles end up eating you.
I wish i knew what it felt like to be eaten.
-
Granted, nomnomnom =]
I wish i wasnt ill =[
-
granted but you break your arm, leaving in the same position as before except in more pain.
I wish i had moniez for my DE
-
Granted but while you were driving you had your DE in the passenger seat in an open box. But suddenly you have to slam on the breaks and your DE go flying and as you grab the box to stop it you notice that your hand is bleeding profusely because your DE spiking pits ended up impaling your hand and you have to go to the hospital to get stiches but you dont have enough money to pay the medical bill because you spent all your mney on Dark Eldar.
I wish had more SM
-
granted but the same thing happens, hoever because your american you actauly have to pay medical bills and the send you to jail. :)
i iwsh i had some new battlesuits. :)
-
Granted, you have a tuxedo that is bulletproof for any battle you might participate in. Do to the fact you purchased it from a shady guy down town, it isn't actually as bulletproof as you thought, so you end up feeding the fishes when your body gets dumped of a pier by a pair of gangsters you didn't pay back for all those copious amounts of money you borrowed from them.
I wish that Necrons would get an awesome surprise codex next Friday.
-
Granted, but now your Necrons are as tough as Eldar.
I wish codex creep didn't exist.
-
Granted, however after the Inquisition books are updated, followed by the Necrons, The Tau are left behind as the oldest book, and never ever win a game.
I wish the Dark Eldar book was a fake
-
I wish the Dark Eldar book was a fake
wish granted however the DE players revolt and storm GW forcing them to release a all mightly DE codex that is unbeatable.
I wish my teachers in math actually taught and just didnt flat out suck
-
Wish granted, now instead of sucking he blows(and not in the sexual way)
I wish I had a million bucks.
-
Wish granted, however it is all in Somalian currency and equates to about $3.52 USD.
I wish I had an all powerful Farsight Army, and thus could conquer everyone.
-
.
I wish I had an all powerful Farsight Army, and thus could conquer everyone.
wish granted, but the new codex comes out and farsight sucks badly meaning u never win a game
I wish i had a better understanding of math and was a expert at it :( (and french too)
-
Granted, however you only understand math and french and thus end up in special needs classes.
I wish for more Eldar, they make 40k interesting where I live.
-
Granted but then they mind wipe you and everybody you live with.
I wish i wasnt so lazy witch would enable me to type up my SM chapter (The Emperors Eyes) codex in the forge forums.
-
Granted, however Rummy thinks you are ripping off someone else's space marine codex and bans you.
I wish Rummy wasn't so damned scary sometimes....
-
Granted but now Rummy is scary all the time
I wish i had a job to get money.
-
Granted, however you now shovel hog manure for minimum wage.
I wish I had more Eldar skimmers to torment my enemies with.
-
Granted but now they have more drop pods and melta guns.
I wish i could find people to play Dark Heresy.
-
Granted, but they cheat and create super Deathwatch Marines and rape you for hours on end.
I wish for more Striking Scorpions.
-
Granted but then a rather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean? comes along and makes fun of you and destroy all your Eldar.
I wish i had the DW book
-
Granted, however as you leave you are gunned down for the whole 2 dollars left in your wallet.
I wish there were fewer Spezz Mehreen players at my LGS
-
Granted now there are to many Sisters in your LGS.
I wish there were more Eldar players at my LGS.
-
Granted, and they all run super Mechdar replete with Dire Avengers, Howling Banshees and Fire Dragons ripping your doodz to pieces with Eldrad and Yriel leading the way behind the Avatar of Khaine.
I wish there were fewer powergaming amphetamine parrots out there.
-
Granted, instead of powergamers there are now only players that don't give a damn about winning and every game you play from now on ends because the other player gets bored before it finishes.
I wish food was cheaper so that I could afford to spend more on Games Workshop stuff
-
Granted, however in response to that, taxes on food skyrocket and things are worse than before...
I wish Games Workshop would stop doing yearly price jacks just to keep the benjamins flowing in.
-
Granted now there asking for gold bars.
I wish i could actually see a real gold bar. seriously ive never seen one what the hell.
-
Granted, but you did so by breaking into Fort Knox and are gunned down.
I wish pod droppa would get some better wishes
-
Granted, too bad you wake up drugged on his bathroom floor.
I wish you, yes YOU, would swap me a model, something simple like an objective or something.
-
Granted, but the model is destroyed in the mail.
I wish I could get my hands on more Eldar.
-
Granted but they end up worshipping slaanesh and they become dark eldar.
I wish My SM chapter was made into a codex.
-
Wish granted but your SM miniatures are litteraly made into a codex, plastic codex with a tin cover, and they suck.
I wish i could breakdance
-
Granted but you have stage fright and cant dance infront of anybody.
I wish i could be black for a day to see what it was like, OH and mexican.
-
uh, that was racist... FAIL!
For that, you have truly piqued my ire, and must suffer the consequences...
[Monkey aims rear at Pody, plugs mouth with thumb, and blows. This causes a chain reaction that violently projects the caustic chili rainbow at Pody, covering him in festered beans and broken glass]
Your wish has been granted.
I wish I could cover the world in my "gift".
-
granted, but my slanneeshi tau help you. :)
i wish i had an fluffy exscuse for slaneeshi tau. :)
-
Granted, too bad their only in it for the "greater, longer good".
I wish Eldar weren't so gay.
-
Granted, the gay ones become Dark Eldar.
I wish I could find someone to pro paint my Eldar army for free
-
Granted but its a crappy paint job.
I wish people werent so anal about racsist jokes.
(Now im not racsist i just make racsist jokes. Sorry if i offended someone.)
-
wish granted but then we have alot more wars
I wish i had a airplane and a licence to fly it
-
Granted, but you have a lazy Romanian ground crew who never fix issues and you crash
I wish that Eastern Europeans would look out for their own problems every now and then.
-
Granted now the western Europeans dont look out for themselves.
I wish people could just get along with one another.
-
Granted, however it only lasts for one day until conflict arises again and the world is bathed in nuclear fire and death
I wish that I wasn't so doomsday-ish in my wish granting
-
granted, now you are apocolipsish
i wish for an army of kill bots to start the robocalipse.
-
They never finish.
I wish for knowledge.
-
I wish for knowledge.
Wish granted but all the knowledge scares you
I wish i could change the tavern
-
Wish granted, now we are no longer any fun and everyone leaves
I wish for world peace.
-
I wish for world peace.
Granted, but rapid overpopulation leads to environmental colapse within a 100 years, and humanity goes extinct.
I wish there were no 'gangstas'
-
Granted, however it is only through the return of the bootleg era gangsters who bathe the streets in blood with drive by bloodbaths and repeats of the St. Valentine's Massacre. Society collapses under the violence.
I wish for an actual 1928 Thompson
-
Granted, but the barrel has been cemented rendering the weapon completely useless.
I wish the Yamato had not been sunk, was for sale, and within my price range.
-
Granted, but someone else beats you to it.
I wish I had an Aston Martin DBS
-
granted but all the James bond villains come and blow it up with you in it.
i wish for my guard to get here sooner.
-
Granted, but they were crushed during shipping and GW won't replace your order.
I wish I had the money to restart my Tau Battle Cadre.
-
granted but the guy you mugged it off of sues you bankrupt.
i wish for a channel specifically dedicated to 40k in the tv guide.
-
Granted, but it is all about Space Marines and how awesome they are compared to the other races for 23 hours a day.
The below poster is starting Necrons soon, and will go looking for advice on how to better play them.
-
No good sir i am not,
and since you didnt post a wish....
I wish that i didnt have to do a skit today in french class
-
Granted, but you do have to pose nude for the art class instead....
I wish someone would just pony up a Cron army for me to try before I buy.
-
Wish granted, but you have to use that 500 point Cron army against a 2000 point Eldar Wraith Guard army.
I wish that Space marines didn't have crappy artillery.
-
Wish granted, unfortunately become an Elites choice in the IG Codex, and everyone hates you forever.
I wish that the new Tyranid Codex, actually made some beslubbering sense.
-
Granted but your new eldar codex will be a piece of crap.
I wish i had a cookie
-
Wish granted, but Somebody pissed upon it, and now you must eat it.
I wish that there was a codex salamanders.
-
wish granted but the codex only has flamers as war gear and really isnt that creative
I wish that the clinically insane one would change his name back to Nomsheep
-
granted, but only if i get given an explanation for once
I wish i was given an explanation
-
it sounded more uniqiue and awesome espically since we reference nomsheep like 40x times throughout this thread.
The below poster will agree with me
-
your wish is granted. i do agree ;)
I wish people stopped complaining that BA is cheese.
-
Wish granted, I write the FAQ that nerfs them completely.
I wish pod droppa would read the wish before answering........
-
Wish granted i did read before i answered.
I wish the usual BA player at my LGS had dice that rolled better.
-
Granted, now he beats you senseless without ever losing a model.
I wish I knew how to make an Apocalypse data sheet for the Supa Chinork.
-
Wish granted, but you forget everything else.
I wish they made a new codex Genestealers.
-
Granted, however it is so terrible that no one plays it and the army is canceled again.
I wish for a Codex Demiurg so Space Dwarves can make their triumphant return.
-
wished granted but you have to use codex tau empire in order to use the codex for the space dwarfs
I wish that i had more 40k players in my local gaming area :(
-
Granted, however they all play cheesemarines/Bloodrather unsavoury chap, what-ho old bean?s, and crush your will to play.
I wish there were fewer SM players at my LGS.
-
Granted, but now they play CSM.
I wish there was more Gun line IG players in my town that I could use my BAs against.
-
Granted, but those gun lines include so many mortars, basilisks, and Manticores that you get wiped off the board completely, unable to get any armor saves from so much barrage weaponry.
I wish that in the next Tau Codex, cover saves are not allowed against Railgun solid shots.
-
Granted, but now Railgun Solid Shots have S 2.
I wish that Dark Angels would stop wearing dresses.
-
Easily granted, now they doff the monk's robes in favor of actual pink dresses. Way to screw up an awesome chapter jackass.
I wish JCP would get an avy that made sense.
-
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D above
Wish granted, butt now everyone ELSE'S Avvy doesn't make sense.
*My Avvy is from the game Team Fortress 2.*
I wish that there was a Ork dictionary, so I can actually read Vanity's Orky posts!
-
Wish granted, however I beat you to death with it.
I wish for world peace again, let's see if we can get this one right.
-
Granted. World peace is finally achieved on the 20th Dec 2012. Unfortunately the end of the world prediction for the 21st Dec 2012 turns out to be true.
I wish I had enough money to own and run a McLaren MP4-12C
-
Granted, but now you are living out of said McLaren for the rest of your life.
I wish my LGS didn't cry cheese on my 2 Farseer, 4 Warlock Council mounted in a Falcon.
-
wish granted but they cry cheese when you play a seer council and farseer on jetbikes now
I wish i had my Imperial Guard army with me here at Uni :'(
-
Granted but you have no where to put it except in your LGS and the owners dont pay attention and somebody steels it.
I wish the new DE codex wouldnt be so broken.
-
I've read it and it isn't all that broken, as a matter of fact they put a disclaimer in the back that says it is not for new players. So wish granted oddly enough.
I wish pod droppa would have come up with something that I could actually corrupt.
-
Granted
I wish for a lighter, a book, a pair of wings, 3 pairs of shoesn, and finally a bowl of melted icecream so i can finally build a wachya-ma-jigger.
-
Granted, but you lose everything else you own.
I wish Pod Droppa would actually CORRUPT wishes *See above*
-
Granted, he now corrupts everything you could ever wish for or hoped to attain, ruining your hope for a better future, and finally causing you to commit a ritualistic suicide that fails due your lack of skills in Shaman herbology, and you now spend the rest of your life in a mental institution.
I wish that the every single unit in the necron Codex got WBB on a roll of 2 up.
-
Granted, but now they have BS:2, WS:2, Sv:6+, because they've been remade by ORKS.
I wish that the Soldier in Team Fortress 2 was faster.
-
Granted, but he isn't fast enough to outrun my sniper bullets and I gun him down from a mile away. Repeatedly.
I wish Phil would stop going on and on about TF2... cause no one cares.
-
wish granted but now he's going on about counter strike source
I wish that someone would look at my website for my counter strike source clan by clicking on the tau banner below my name :'(
-
I wish that someone would look at my website for my counter strike source clan by clicking on the tau banner below my name :'(
Granted, but they hack it and plant a virus that gets your website shut down.
I wish I could time travel at will.
-
Granted, but you cannot control when you will end up. You could end up during doomsday, for example.
I wish that Lotus Car parts were easier to find.
-
Granted, but they are now very amphetamine parrotty knock-offs
I wish for more Eldar. I like Wave Serpents
-
Granted, but they are all of the Dark variety and cannot take Wave Serpents.
I wish I owned a dozen casinos in Macau.
-
Granted, however Macau turns into a giant active volcano, and your insurance doesn't cover volcano.
I wish Dark Eldar would just go away.
-
Granted now SM wont stop bugging you.
I wish Hurricanes would leave lousiana alone.
-
Granted, but you now get earthquakes, tsunamis, and all manner of other psycho-beslubber weather, including daily blizzards and tornadoes... Sometimes at the same time!
I wish SM players wouldn't whine about codex creep.
-
Granted we now whine abbout how we only get bland protein paste to eat.
I wish for all the douchebags in the world to disappear.
-
Granted, unfortunately you disappear, suddenly realizing you are a douchebag.
I wish poddy wouldn't make it so easy
-
Granted now i make it to easy.
I wish your orks would just fight the nids for a change.
-
Granted, Da Black Skullz rip Hive Fleet Leviathan a new ass, and then proceed on a galaxy wide WAAAGH!!! to sate the destructive appetite of Warlord Skullkrakka, Da Swarm Krusha, Killa uv da biggest baddest bug dem Tyranids 'ave.
I wish more Tyranids fell to the wrath of WAAAGH Black Skullz
-
Granted but when you are deleted and near death my marines shall pod into the heart of the fight and kill the hive tyrant and your warlord skullkrakka.
I wish i could actually fight your orks to decide whos better.
-
Granted, however it is over the interwebz on DOW and I WAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!! all over you and crush the Emperor's Eyes
I wish there was a better way to play over the interwebz than DOW and DOW2
-
wish granted, its called vassal 40k but it was cancaled,
I wish that i could play real 40k soon
-
Granted but Tower of games moves to a new location and you cant find it.
I wish they made a series for ToS DotNW.
-
Granted but, it is so horrible it gets cancelled
I wish for a worldwide teleportation network so I can have more opponents
-
wish granted but you ge stuck here where there are VERY few oppoenents besides me
I wish that a drop pod would have blown through the lecture hall ceiling today and crushed the front part of the room so i didnt have to listen to my teacher ramble on about slave life in the 1860's
-
Granted, but it is a Dreadclaw and you are maimed by crazed World Eaters.
I wish that some people would stop acting like complete dicks for no reason.
-
Granted but now they are so nice its extremley annoying.
I wish the ToS series that exists was in english and had good voice actors.
-
granted, however the plot is so terrible you commit seppuku.
I wish I wasn't tempted to build a SM army... stupid Raven Guard
-
Granted now your tempted to build vanilla marines with no fluff.
I wish The TFC was tougher while retaining its power.
-
Granted, but my Orks WAAAGH all over it and take it away to be "Mekked wif"
I wish I had IA8, so I could use the unholy contraption that is the Warcopta.
Say it with me now, Kastore-Novem Drop Orks!
-
Granted but now they are of super low toughness.
I wish Vanity wouldnt try to copy my poddy style 8) cause thats lame.
-
Granted, as I would be ripping off an Elysian style drop army. Just with Orks.
I wish poddy would realize that a Warkopta is a vehicle.
Just imagine, a bunch of Warkoptas deployed on the field, and next thing you know, they start dumping twenty boyz off from each one.
-
Granted but i need to see a pic of this warkopta
I wish orks dont have flying transports
-
Granted, but now all orks have DS.
I wish I knew how to beat plants vs zombies final boss.
-
Granted, but the power goes out as you are about to fight it, and you lose all your data and have to start over.
I wish they had more playable races in DOW2
-
Granted, its called DOW2 retribution and is out in march 2011
However now they make a new race of pedobears, which makes GW angry and the sue relic into closing down
Congratulations, you just destroyed DOW
I wish this thread would stop popping up in my updated topics section
-
Granted, but you end up getting PMs from Sanct, until you finally just off yourself from the horror.
I wish it was 3 already.
-
Granted but then its 4 immediatley after.
I wish my pods didnt scatter or suffer mishaps.
-
Granted, but now I can shoot them down with my Falcons and Wave Serpents.
-
I wish vanity would actually post up a wish.
-
Granted, but he posted a wish that was impossible for you to corrupt.
I wish that FW models weren't soo expensive in the US...
-
Granted now everybody buys them so quick they run out models before you can get any.
I wish Phil in a blue chair realized you can corrupt any wish.
-
Granted, and upon learnign this he goes crazy and kills you.
I wish drop pods weren't in the next marine dex
-
Granted but now thunder hawks are avalaible for just the same number of points.(oh and price 8))
I wish orks didnt have deth rollas.
-
Granted, but now all orks have 14 Armor rating overall, because Gork and Mork thot dat da boyz needed mor cunnin n' brain powa, so now, they have better vehicles.
I wish I could speak better ork.
-
Granted, but now you sound like a highly functioning handicap-person.
I wish Pyrovores were worth taking.
-
Granted but now mauloks are completely overpriced.
I wish i had money for a thunder hawk
-
wish granted but as soon as you get the model to go play with it , it bust
I wish that i had more money to start a DE and a Guard army with 9 VALKS :O
-
Granted, but you get beat down so many times playing DE that you finally just quit and never play again.
I wish ST's Tau could face the horror of my Mechdar.
-
Granted they beat your mechdar. Side Effects may include HE JUST KICKED YOUR f@#%IN ASS
I wish i could fight STs gaurd
-
Granted, but he brings so much freakin barrage artillery that you get PWN3d. All your drop pods just become grave markers for your sad little marines.
I wish for the Orks to get a Codex update.
-
Granted you have to wait forever just like the duke nukem fans.
I wish people didnt B@#$ch about not getting a codex update
-
Granted,they now be-atch about you
I wish ork players would accept that their codex is still really new
-
Granted, however they rise up against you, saying 2007 isn't new, as the Nids were done 2 dexes before them, and they just got another update. The angry mob rips you apart and scatters your limbs across England, going so far as to spike your head on Hadrian's Wall.
I wish I wasn't so insolent towards other members for giggles.
-
Granted, but you're no fun anymore.
I wish I wasn't a newbie....
-
Granted you are now a peon. >:( Now get to WORK!!
I wish i could actually kill monstrous creatures.
-
Granted, but now the little ones get you.
I wish Tau would stop being using gun-lines.
-
wish granted, we now mech like crazy
I wish i wasnt so sick :(
-
Granted, but now you are forced to go to work to earn bread-crumbs.
I wish moving was easier.
-
Granted now settiling in is hard.
I wish carni king wouldnt keep people from sleeping
-
Granted, but now the boards are grey and lifless.
I wish being witty didn't involve thinking....
-
Granted, but you are now a mindless zombie.
I wish GW made plastic Death Korps of Krieg. I really don't want to order an entire army from Forgeworld.
-
Granted, but now FW produces an even better regiment of platics.
I wish there was a Tervigon Kit.
-
Granted, but it sucks so bad no one uses it.
I wish I had the money to buy aforementioned Death Korps army
-
Granted, but now you have to wait anywhere from 2 to more weeks ^^
I wish Games Workshop would stop upping the prices on all of their kits.
-
Granted, but the quality returns to that of the Rogue Trader days
I wish the prices stayed the same for awhile.
-
Granted, but now they double the price after so long in a stand-still.
I wish GW would allow more player input on rules and regs.
-
Granted. 40k now becomes super cheese dick and no one wants to play.
I wish for Mork and Gork to smile upon me next month at my tournament.
-
Granted, but now everyone thinks you're a cheese-monger and a dick.
I wish tournament lists weren't so generic.
-
Granted, I never run the usual Nob Bikers with Deffrolla Battlewagons loaded with shoota boyz, and Lootas for fire support.
I wish that wasn't what has become the standard for Orks.
-
Granted..... now everyone spams hordes of troops?
I wish I knew more about orks.
-
Granted. All you need to know is that Orks is bigger and better than you.
I wish for more Orks, just for fun.
-
Granted, but now they chop and smash your house.
I wish knowledge of orks extended beyond lies.... and that the "red ones go faster"...
-
Granted, Orkz was born ta fight and win!!! No matta what 'appens Orkz neva loose!!!
I wish I could get my new tourney list to hold the Deffkoptas as well.
-
Granted but now you arent able to fit your nobz and warboss into your list.
I wish i could fit a ten man termie squad in my army.
-
Granted, but then they get shot to bits the moment they teleport in, and you are out their points.
I wish for the dice gods to smile on me for this upcoming tournament.
-
Granted, the dice Gods smile at you but they have got their fingers crossed behind their backs and you roll nothing higher than 2 even when you use two die.
I wish that Halloween didn't exist and people in Britain would start souling again.
-
Granted, however the whole world is wiped clean by the sudden zombie apocalypse because of this.
I wish I could get my painting done when I need it done.
-
Granted but you then decide to paint your army a different color so now you have to start over.
I wish i could run a 5k in 14:28:02
-
You can't run 5 kilometers in 14 hours, 28 minutes and 2 seconds? WEAKSAUCE.
I wish poddy wasn't weaksauce material.
-
Granted im not, it said 14 minutes dumb ass
I wish vanity would learn how CC teams post up times.
-
Granted, except I never ran CC since I was the varsity strong safety. I tackle you Bob Sanders style and break both of your legs in the process.
I wish that poddy would not bring such heresy as physical activity into this hallowed place of virtual butt-rape and monkey feces.
-
Granted i bring something even worse to the fore.
I wish im was a faster runner.
-
Granted, however you die of a heart attack from running.
I wish I could get my Skaven horde started.
-
wish granted but it bankrupts you,
I wish that i hadnt posted the word "and" alot of times in the "Stop a poster" thread
-
Granted, however your posts are deleted and nothing makes sense anymore.
I wish I could decide on my next 40k army.
-
Granted but you choose the crappiest army ever, Dark Angels.
I wish vanity would remove the exterminatus option from his computer. One wrong slip and your gonna end the world.
-
Granted, but now he has a "Awaken C'tan" option on his computer
I wish that Dark Angels weren't the only army that can take Termies as Troops
-
Granted. Read the Space Wolf codex ;)
I wish it wouldnt rain
-
Granted, it rains molten hot death in the form of cyclonic torpedoes. oops I hit Exterminatus.
I wish that I had more options than just Exterminatus.
-
Granted nw you have "take command of entire imperial gaurd crusade"
I wish SM were unbeatable.
-
Granted, but everyone stops playing 40k and it is discontinued. Angry mobs of gamers find out you were the cause and you have your arms and legs ripped from your body, your head lopped off, and then you are fed to havolina hogs out of pure rage.
I wish my decision for my next army wasn't so hard, Tau or Skaven?
-
wish granted, its tau because tau need more players
I wish that i had more Valks and money for forgeworld
-
Granted but valks become forgeworld only models and they decide to jack up thier prices by 300%.
I wish forgeworld wasnt so expensive.
-
Granted, it's not as bad as you think when you look at the American prices, depending on what you want.
I wish poddy knew that Valks used to be Forgeworld and thus never will be again.
-
Granted now valks go back to being forge world thus making me right.
I wish people realised i wasnt here for 3rd edition and back
-
Granted however your intolerence at the fact that valks were part of forgeworld till may 2009 makes me brutally murder you
I wish people accepted that sometimes others are right
-
wish granted but sometimes those people are wrong too
I wish that i had a airplane and a licence to fly it
-
Granted, but you crash into an alligator infested swamp and are never seen again.
I wish I had the money to get my unannounced third and final 40k army rolling.
-
Granted you have zero money though as you announce that you are going to start a Squat army.
I wish I could finish building at least one of the armies I have started to collect.
-
Granted, but now you have no room to sleep. You're bed has been converted.
I wish I could find a gaming club around here....
-
[where you at ? ]
Wish granted but they all play Vulkin Marines with flamers and pwm your nids
I wish that i could find a game club near my area and the LGS didnt suck so badly
-
Granted, you find a perfect club and LGS... But noone is there to play :)
I wish i knew how to run a campaign. (well)
-
Granted, but knowledge isn't everything and even though you are the world's best at campaigns nobody turns up to play.
I wish fireworks weren't so loud.
-
Granted, but now they are horribly inaccurate, so one goes flying in to your face.
I wish I could decide between Daemons or Chaos Marines...
-
granted, now yo choose demons and you can never beat pod armies
-
(pod droppa didnt wish for anything)
I wish that pod droppa had wished for something so i could corrupt it
-
Granted.
I wish, i wish i wound not forget to wish.
-
Granted, but now on, you wish so horribly, that you are kicked from the forums
I wish I got 100% on my Science test instead of a 95%
-
Granted but the teacher believes you cheated and you have to retake the test. And you end up scoring a 93, 1 point away from an A.
I wish i was really good in german class.
-
Granted, but you find out all the students are jerks, and pull endless pranks on you that eventually get you expelled for something you didn't do.
I wish that I had realized that Death Wing had Deathwing Assault sooner.
-
Granted, but then GW gets rid of the DA codex and you can't field deathwing anymore.
I wish the GW broadsides were as cool as the FW ones.
-
Granted, but then GW stops all production of Broadsides
I wish that Vanity would stop talking about Tau.
-
Granted, now we can talk about how I stomp all over your crappy Sphesh Mehreenz and their crummy metal bawkses.
I wish Space Marines would go away.
-
Granted but ten years from now we return ever stronger and we are unable to be defeated.
I wish tau got a codex update
-
Granted, however it is just a cheap IG knock off, and we are forever disgraced in the eyes of the other armies.
I wish I didn't have to do that.
-
Granted, GW actually did that instead. Have fun playing with your blue-skinned IG
I wish that my Necrons penetrated everything on a roll of a 6
-
wish granted but all you roll is 1's ???
I wish that i could ace my test today
-
(you have a test on VETERANS DAY?) Granted, but you fail every other test you get.
Epicly.
I wish that my chair didn't hurt my bum.
-
(you have a test on VETERANS DAY?)
College sucks sometimes
Any how, your chair breaks from sitting in it too long and you fall down and break your little toe.
I wish i had come up with a better wish
-
Granted but your next one will be terriably not funny.
I wish all my friends werent at colloge.
-
Wish granted, they are dead in a ditch
I wish that I actually had the paints I needed for my new models
-
You do, but you no longer have your new models
I wish that I didn't have to work tonight
-
Congratulations! Your boss has just found you in bed with his/her partner, your head really hurts, you have no memories of what happened last night, and there are several eerie bite and bruise marks all over your boss's partner's body. I'm pretty sure that tonight you have a lovely date with law enforcement.
I wish that my fellow cast mates would actually remember their lines of our play.
-
wish granted but they remember the line to the wrong play
I wish that my room mate wasnt such a jerk
-
Granted, but now your room mate wishes the same.
I wish Winter was warmer.
-
Granted but global warming eventually leads to the destruction of the world.
I wish for a cookie.
-
Fine. But that cookie is haunted by a greater demon of Nurgle, and after ingestion, he takes over your body and you die of a horrid slue of diseases. at least your funeral was nice.
I wish that I could defeat the entire Ultramarines chapter.
-
Granted but they come back stronger than ever. Oh and there primarch gets his ass off that god damn marble throne.
I wish SM scouts had BS and WS 4.
-
(They're already BS and WS 4 :o) Granted, but now they have T1 and are instant killed by lasguns.
-
Note i said Space marine SCOUTS. they are BS and WS 3 except for the sargeant
I wish the blue chair had made a wish to be cut up into fire wood.
-
(Whoops. I was looking at DA scouts :o)
Granted, but you fail to corrupt it, and you are shot up by the post marines.
I wish that I knew why Vanilla Scouts fail compared to DA and SW scouts.
-
Granted, but you have a mental break down when you realise that they are better because those chapters are made of pure awesome and your vanilla scouts will never compare.
I wish the Dark Angel codex was actually on par in a competetive sense to that of Space Wolves.
-
Granted, they now both fail as much as Vanilla Marines and are now dominated by the Blood Angels.
I wish that the "e" key on my keyboard would actually work with out me having to slam repeatedly on it.
-
Granted. All that previous slamming though has broken something in the motherboard and after a blissful half hour of your keyboard working properly your whole computer suddenly stops working.
I wish that I could be bothered to paint some of my GW figures today.
-
Granted, but you run out of paint after painting 1/4th of the model.
I wish that I had Black Ops.
-
Granted then somebody mugs you for it.
I to wish i had black ops
-
Granted but I break it
I wish people would give other shooting games a chance so that they realise cod is rubbish
-
Granted but now those games are rubbish.
I wish i could play the new shooter vanquish.
-
Granted, but you realize that it sucks, and a Lady Gaga themed game would be better.
I wish Black Friday came sooner so I could get TF2.
-
Its crimbo day!! You hoped for TF2 but nooooo you were given a half eating cheese burger enjoy. :)
I wish could write a book.
-
Granted, but they published it with 12" Steel spikes.
Doesn't sound bad?
Read on.
While you were signing autographs, a hater comes out and whips it at your face.
I wish Minecraft came out of Alpha.
-
Awwww nasty right in the eye :o
Well the game got a massive bug that turned it non 3D so the makers just scrapt the whole idea.
I wish somehow i turned into the worlds smartist person?
-
Granted but you are so smart you dont even understand simple math, and how to use a toaster. Good job einstein.
I wish earth was clean again.
-
But it becomes so clean, you are blinded by its shiny-ness.
I wish I got an iPhone.
-
But you get an IPAD instead and an enviormentally freindly book burner burns it because it somehow how has 100 books downloaded on it.
I wish i could get a new ipod mine so busted it dont work.
-
Granted, but it fails as well. The iPod itself doesn't fail, but iTunes won't open, you forget how to download songs from other LEGAL websites, and anyother apps you get just fail.
EDIT:
I forgot to wish.
I wish that I had an Alienware lappy.
-
{since phil forgot once again to make a wish}
I wish that Phil had made a wish so i could corrupt it :'(
-
Granted, but I wish soo horribly, it affects you instead of me
I wish that this wish was better.
-
Wish granted but its still terrible
I wish phil's blue chair had a santa hat
-
Granted, the chair has a Santa hat but never wears it.
I wish I hadn't broken my KLX's clutch lever (or anything else) this week.
-
granted i sabatage it.
i wish i knew why this has lasted so long.
-
Granted, you now know but the reason is an age old secret that you can never divulge to anyone.
I wish that Games Workshops spray gun worked better than it does.
-
Granted but they jam up constantly.
I wish i could run a 5:45 mile.
-
Granted, but you can only run at 2mph.
I wish I knew what the "The Blue Chair" was all about!
-
Granted, but you die.
I wish this thread would die down.
-
Granted, in the year 3030 this thread begins to slow down. Obviously you aren't around to see it but hey can't have everything.
I wish that the recently discovered planet, Kepler 10b, had a sign on that read "if you can read this, you are too close".
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Granted but we soon realise that we ARE to close and earth crashes into keplar 10b.
I wish my cat would stop whining.
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Granted, he falls in a blender. No more crying for him.
I wish I had a job.
Nom
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Granted, Welcome to McDonald's!
I wish I could find a better job.
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Granted, good luck in the male prostitution business.
I wish the missing Dr who episodes were no longer missing
Nom
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You watch them and they make you hate Dr. Who with a homicida passion.
I wish I could find about five more Valkyries and a half dozen plasmaguns.
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Granted but they are the new Finecast editions and hence full of holes.
I wish I wasn't hungry. :/
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I force feed you finecast, proving once again that the stuff is only good for torturing people.
I wish GW would quit having bright ideas.
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Granted, Matt Ward is now lead product designer
I wish i didn't have to do research papers
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Welcome to McDonald's!
I wish I could just do commission work instead of finding a job (getting close, just not there yet).
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Granted but then you overbooked and end up with a lot of angry customers.
I wish my little brothers hamster stopped pissing on me.
NOm
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Granted but your brother starts pissing on you again instead.
I wish petrol was more affordable.
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Granted. too bad everyone bought it all up and there isn't any left.
I wish I could figure out circular breathing (technique used to play the didgeridoo continuously).
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Granted, your respiratory system has been replaced with:
(https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi43.tinypic.com%2F16m8u37.gif&hash=1c80ad2e1361f76256378d34232768244213821f)
Unfortunately, like other birds, you now lack lips.
I wish I had better aim in FPSs.
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Granted, too bad smell-o-vision has replaced all forms of entertainment.
I wish I had the drive to finish my IG army.
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Granted, you are no longer able to sleep, and you feel a physical pain in the pit of your stomach whenever you stop painting/modeling your IG army.
I wish businesses would realize buying anything from Dell is like hiring an asthmatic for your personal trainer.
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Granted, please figure out how to make those Amigas hook up to the interwebz.
I wish I could find a detailed cut away schematic of a bassoon.
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Granted, you now have access to the Internet . . . wait . . . yeah, that.
I wish it was the 12th of May and I got passing grades on all of my finals / final projects.
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Granted, now go get a job!
I wish the moth swarms would die out.
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Granted, a sudden surge in the spider population has eaten the moths.
I wish I knew what to wish for.
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Thanks for sending me a bajillion internet dollarz.
I wish I could get motivated.
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Granted, unfortunately you are motivated to paint all your commissions pink.
I wish Pub alcohol was cheaper than, or as cheap as, Supermarket alcohol
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Granted, all pubs now double a supermarkets (aloof mothers, screeching babies, annoying sales pitches, elevator music and smelly fat people who are always in the way everywhere!).
I wish I could convince my friend to play battle fleet gothic.
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Granted, your friend (in a country which is an ironinc long way away) can now play BFG. However you have to play via post. a single game takes you a decade.
I wish I could win with my Space Wolves
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Granted, you win an egg & spoon race whilst carrying your Space Wolf Army.
I wish that they find evidence of a highly advanced race in the 300 million year old fossilised forest recently discovered in Illinois.
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Granted, an iPod and a Zune Player are found in a shallow hole near the site. To everyone's dismay, the Zune player still functions but only plays Rick Astley's "She Wants to Dance With Me".
I wish the subsidiaries table in my database project wasn't currently locked by an AFK group member.
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Granted, project canceled. Now go find a job.
I wish there was less waiting and paperwork.
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Granted but less isn't the same as none so there is still an annoying amount to do.
I wish I could be bothered to assemble my Space Marine Megaforce.
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Granted, you are highly motivated but without glue you're simply frustrated.
I wish I didn't have to work for a living.
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Granted, you become a tramp.
I wish I had the bitz and the talent (and glue) to carry out conversions on my 40k stuff.
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Granted you forget how to paint.
I wish I could wake up.
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granted but the world sucks so you go back to sleep
I wish for something
Nom
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Wish Granted, you are subject to a Donkey Punch.
I wish for a higher post count...
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Granted, but no one gives two amphetamine parrots
I wish to travel to mars
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You go to 'mars', you get stuck in chocolate, caramel and nougat heaven looking up at a red planet above you.
I was to be a millionaire (in pounds sterling)
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Wish granted! Youre a millioner but you are stuck on a 10x10 foot island with no communications.
I wish I was a giant!
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granted however you're stuck with me on the island and I make you stand in the water with sharkes nibbling your toes
I wish I was a superhero
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Granted, your super power is that you are great at Math.
I wish Diablo 3 was a better game :-/
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Granted, I draw the number three over Diablo two (I mean, great bringing it up to date with graphics and all, but surely they could've done a bit more).
I wish that I could go to one of these monthly tournaments and not come back pissed about some ruling or idiot player (I might need to start another yearly campaign of homegames again).
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Granted, you get laid and chill the beslubber out.
I wish I could play wargames all day long
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Yeah, that didn't happen. It had such an efect that I'm trading off the army I used
Granted, but you get all uptight because I got all your nookie energy.
I wish I could trade off my mech Eldar for a really good army.
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Granted I give you my *really good* Necron army
I wish the secretary behind me cold eat with her mouth closed.
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Granted. However, the pressure of eating with her/his mouth closed causes his/her head to explode showering everyone in the room with brains.......
I wish that summer would return to the British Isles.........
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In London it already has! However for corruption purposes, it gets rediculously hot, hose pipe bans follow also tarmac melts and cars crash, the train lines warp and basically in true British style the weather undermines our entire society. Again.
I really wish my secretary's head did explode
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Granted! But when it does you explode to.
I wish I had a amphetamine parrot
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granted but you go big style and can't leave the can for days on end.
Unless you actually do want a parrot in which case thats fine 8)
I wish I got a bigger pay rise
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Granted! but as a result the government audits you and decides you need to pay way more taxes 8)
I wish for my Orc Army to start....
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Granted, however due to a mix up you get an army made up of killer whales............
I wish i Knew what i know now when i was younger............ ...
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Granted, unfortunatly due to your age no one takes you seriously with what you have to say and the "oldies" steal your ideas anyway.
I wish for my pay rise...
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Granted, I shall place your paycheck on a ladder next time you pick it up.
I wish I could make a Kroot merc army that can count-as any other army!
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Granted you produce the best Kroot counts as army anyone has ever seen but it takes so long that as you finish the last model you die age 77.
I wish that people would realise that Jimmy Carr has done nothing morally wrong by trying to pay less tax.
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Done! Jimmy Carr is hailed as a stand out bloke, eclipses DC in populatity and wins the next general election.
We now have a comedian as a PM, the world hasn't laughed so hard since Berlesconi. We are foolls in the eyes of the world.
I wish it was beer o'clock already
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It is, but everyone else knew that, there is no more beer... in... the... world. :'(
I wish it was easier to brew at home.
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Wish granted, unfortunately due to such high demand of you home brew, catatrophic failure of a boiler blows up all your brew, sorry.
Wish the housing market was more affordable...
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your driving along and you find a free house! Sears doesn't mind at al if you take that old fridge box.
~Seriously though, are you in the US? If so I might be aboe to stear you in a direction for super cheap housing, like 1% interest loan cheap.
Wish I could find a knarloc.
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Knarloc found, It eats you.
I wish my job was fun
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Granted, but the clowns start to get real creepy.
I wish I could get these Eldar mailed off, they just don't want to leave.
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Eldar, posted they got lost by useless postmen. You're liable for the loss.
I wish I could see Zilverscales (and anyone else's!) pictures at work.
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Granted, too bad McDonald's is so boring.
I wish I could get rid of some of this junk (well painted stuff, terrain, cases and transports).
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Wish Granted, ... Someone takes all your "junk" and makes a million dollars from it, too bad, sorry :o
Wish I had more Junk, lol
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granted, you sit in between two skinny girls. you now have relatively more *junk*
I wish for jawmonkey to give me all his junk
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Granted, Jawmonkey gives you all his *junk*. You can't walk properly for the next week.
I wish a modern equivalent of Robin Hood would appear and rob from Games Workshop to give to the poor gamers.
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Granted, modenr day robin hood steals too much and GW go bust. now we have nothing to do on a Saturday morning :(
I wish Jawmonkey took back his *junk*
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Granted, modenr day robin hood steals too much and GW go bust. now we have nothing to do on a Saturday morning :(
I wish Jawmonkey took back his *junk*
[Monkey throws poop right into your big, fat, gaping mouth]
You can't take back a blessing from the Monkey God, only enjoy what he has given you... now chew!
I wish I could fax poop.
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Granted you fax a poop and I chow down on the paper reperesentation of the good stuff.
However, through your efforts you are now coverd in your own poop
I wish I could watch you try to fax poop.
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Granted but whilst you are watching Jawmonkey mistakes your head for a poop and forces it through the machine instead.
I wish that following the arrest of 72 year old Daniel Collins Junior for threatening to shoot his farting neighbour that a new law is passed that makes it illegal to fart in public and fart zones have to be introduced into Pubs.
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And thus begins an oderous chapter in history, The Great Gas War.
I wish I could fart so loud and powerfully that it could knock small children over.
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granted but it counts as assault and you spend the rest of your days in prison.
I wish I could find somewhere to perform.
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Granted but now everyone thinks you're masterbating in the closet to show tunes.
I wish I could get some trades done without the typical half dozen back-outers, its getting old.
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granted, but then the mug you and take everything.
I wish for ultimate power.
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Granted, but ultimate power requires ultimate responsibility, you are the mentor of 7.5 million children
Wish for my first game of 6th to be a draw ::)
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Granted. You both give up after all the predeployment crap, being to exhausted to actually play a game.
I wish to get a good game of 40k in soon (someone move to La Junta, CO).
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granted, provided you pay for my flight, and first few months of rent.
I wish for above mentioned scenario to occur.
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Granted, free rent for a few months could actually be handled, but I could only afford to fly you out here if you cremated yourself first (Hell, get your student visa and come on over, Why not? There's a junior college in La Junta)
I wish I could freeze time to get more done in a day. (I'm an insomniac in a normal person's body)
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Granted! you freeze time and and yourself, obviously and find there is still only 24 hours in a day.
I wish I was this happy all day every day!!
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granted it gets boring quick.
@jawmonkey: you have no idea how seriously tempting that is.
I wish for successful drawing skills.
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I made sure to tell the wife just in case (I'm a man of my word), she's cool with it. You'll have to get a job, but it's not like you'd have to learn the language or anything... well, there are a lot of Hispanics here, but still, like I said, "Hell, why not?"
Granted, but all that staring at that white paper makes you blind.
I wish I could find time to convert another 100+ Kroots.
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All I need now is a passport, knowledge of where to get a student visa, money to get over there, to understand the difference twixt British and yank, to know where to search for a job, and apparently if I go to the college to pull minimum of $1000 out my ass. So not much then. :)
granted, you get fired. all the time in the world. :)
I wish I had a passport.
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Granted. Too bad it originally belonged to a reknowned terrorist who was known for smuggling explosives in his rear end.
I wish to get the drive to make a full scale prop bolter.
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granted, but it turns out awful.
I wish for more caffeine
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Granted, too bad its been diluted amongst the 30 wild-eyed children I drop off at your house.
I wish for world peace.
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granted humanity is wiped out, world peace granted.
I wish for more effort and moniez
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Granted, I give you a bajillion intenet dollarz.
I wish to finish this home school stuff with the kids for today.
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granted, I eat them no more home school ever.
I wish for a better wish.
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What could be better than wanting tocome over to the US as an exchange student? Oh yeah, living here!
can you legally own a .50 fully automatic machinegun in the UK?... yeah, that's right, NOPE!
I wish I had a robot to do my evil bidding.
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evil robot, quite obviously, kills you...
I wish Christina Algeria saw sense and came back to me.
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Granted but then she dumps you one second later.
I wish we could happily live on the moon.
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Granted but then she dumps you one second later.
I wish we could happily live on the moon.
Granted, but its a 1 room apartment you share with carnies.
I wish carnies weren't so darned creepy.
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Granted, you become of of them and they dont' seem so creapy. You however....
I wish I had a good job
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Granted, but now you wish you were a carnie (I dissapear for for a few weeks, and come back obsessed with carnies... what the hell is wrong with me...)
I wish people would fact-check before making accusations.
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Granted, they go away ascertain CORRECTLY that you are indeed a dirty carnie...
I wish I wans't a carnie
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Granted, you upgrade to freak after cotton candy side effects surface.
I wish for the Ebay sales to go easy, this one's going to be huge.
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Granted, but the postage is a nightmare.
I wish you could link to you sales so I can see what's on offer
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The Monkey shall Grant your wish! SHAZAM!!! (http://www.ebay.com/sch/josh6906/m.html?item=271049890787&sspagename=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649&_trksid=p4340.l2562) However they're American auctions, you'll never understand their humor.
I wish I had more corn dog boxes. (FYI those things are just the right size for mailing gaming junk)
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do you ship to the u.k?
granted, but something goes wrong.
I wish for more cheese
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Granted you reach around... and remember you took a bath last Tuesday. Looks like you'll have to wait another week!
I wish that highlighting black crap with a bright green went faster.
yeah I'll ship across the pond, if we're talking Ebay give me time to submit a modified invoice to reflect proper shipping
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Granted, you go quickly, too quickly now everything is greeeeeeen!!!!!!
I wish I knew how to load out my Warriors of Chaos Characters
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I just finished building a few. I wanted to sell them on Ebay, but wanted the bits and didn't want to sell a bunch of broken and half built dudes. Found a wiki that suggested sword and shield in general (foot and cavalry). Other than that IDK, I don't play fantasy.
I wish they would sell.
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Granted, everything sells but everybody leaves you negative feedaback and you get banned from ebay.
I wish that NASA's Mars vehicle, Curiosity, accidentally runs over a cat.
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Granted, but due to the lightweight metals used in its construction the cat in unharmed. But very miffed. Cat, "pimps his ride" all over Mars.
I wish my tooth didn't hurt
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Granted, I kick you in the face until all your teeth fall out.
I wish I had more than a pair of sandals, that kicking really hurt.
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Granted, I kick you in the face until all your teeth fall out.
pretty sure I've had this dream.
Granted, I give you ballet pumps, you fall, you break your cankle
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[Monkey shoves a pick axe up your butt for failing to follow the game rules]
Yeah, I didn't know what you were wishing for so I made a guess
I wish someone would pick up this dang WOC army that some Ebay turd backed out on me, this sucks.
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Granted, someone picks it up and then throws it on the floor.
I wish I could have seen the Aurora Borealis that appeared over Scotland last night.
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You did, in your dreams...with me there giving you a back 'rub'... you just don't remember it because I willed you to not to.
I wish I still played 40k...
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you do, I played you, I beat face. you're now a loser at 40K again
I wish Jawmonkey would stopp bettering on about his WOC ebay army
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Granted, just as soon as someone buys that crap.
I wish World of Tanks would quit throwing my poor Leopard in with tier 9 tanks.
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granted, you're thrung in with tier 10's
I wish I didn't have this stupid cold. what is the point of snot anyway?
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granted now you have herpes.
I wish I had more caffeine.
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I also wish the tavern games hadn't died.
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Granted. But now you have to play this at least once a day or GW will abandon all it's franchise to produce a pokemon miniature strategy game.
I wish the Eldar codex would finally be out.
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Granted! The codex is now out and is uber-powerful.....unfortunately, you lose your ability to read!
I wish the bloody Sun would start shining, I'm fed-up with rain...
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Granted! The whole atmosphere has been removed. No more clouds ever and lots of radiation kills all life.
I wish I had a loving and caring genie to grant me 3 wishes.
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Granted. The genie is loving and caring, but a bit unhinged and misunderstands everything you try to ask for, so all of your wishes flop spectacularly.
I wish I had a access to a GW warehouse with permission to take any product I want, free of charge, at any time and as much as I want. ;D
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Granted but to allow for the unlimited amount of stuff that you can take GW limits the quantity that the general public can buy. You become the most hated modeller on the planet and you have to become a hermit to hideaway from everyone.
I wish that the new Space Marine codex was £20
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Granted. Its is, however, black and white, got no pictures, no stats or pts cost. You may download the stats on GW website, for a price.
I wish I would get a dollar for each silliness I ever posted in the Taverns.
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Granted. You are then fined $1.50 for each occurrence.
I wish Publisher's Clearing House would show up at my door.
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Granted, but then they realise they have the wrong address and go to your neighbor.
I wish I had a normal tic tac.