Topic: chavs? an american wants to know.

[Vespasian Swiper]

Well if you Nuke Luton - no more Chavs.

Generally parents exert no control over children who become Chavs - and become accustomed to the casual sex with random strangers, listening to only R+B and 'Music that is under 6 years old.'

I personally own 1 burberry tie - which is actually quite nice

My Avatar is a picture in Rome after we blew our cash on fake jewelry and this was from Alitalia  - long story.

Interestingly enough that jacket has CoastGuard spelt - Coast Gard - any Chav would wear that without embarressment as they cannot read birth control packaging etc, so I gave it to a 'friend.'

They are generally cowards, and carry weapons that are usually jokes - anyone seen a 2" blade - I have and laughed my head off as someone tried to mug me - not the most clever thing to do, but I have a 9" knife, so it seemed a little... toyish.

Also - many of them do not try to work, and doss the time - not even applying for the dole as they refuse to learn as it 'ain't kool bledz'

~Swipe.

[Chuckles, The Space Marine Clown]

Oh yeah, they say "blud" a lot for reasons that I personally cannot understand at all.

Monkey Nuts, I don't know about where you are, but around here they are definitely not Muslims, or even South Asian, but almost exclusively occidental.

Skanking richard: how is racial unity a good thing? At all?

[Sheepz]

Never heard "blud" before. Must be a southern thing. There's the good old "Ere, I've got a knife, gimmie your wallet!" and that came from the mouth of someone no older than 12. Of course, I laughed and replied that I too had a kinfe (which I didn't, to be honest, but I did have a fork at one point), and so he gave up and slunk off.

[Dark Exodus]

I'm sure the chav subculture would disappear (along with most of Calder Valley) with the simple tactical nuking of Halifax town center. Aim it right at the bus station and the shockwaves and rolling fireball should take out those outside McDonalds and "The Portman and Pickle" pub. Nothing short of complete devastation of Halfiax would suffice, even if I rather like the place (when it's crawling with reassuring police). The resultant fallout, if we are fortunate, should make people as far as Bradford and Leeds infertile. This would drive a holy spear into the heart of the Chav infestation. Don't think of the cost. We all have to make sacrifices. Even if those sacrifices are the one hundred and ninety two thousand people of Calderdale.

I bloody well hope you are joking, thats sickening!


. . .


You forgot Glasgow 

[Vespasian Swiper]

Bledz/blud - is a reference to a form of blood brother - and usually used only with close 'chav acqauintences.'

Actually do not Nuke them, gas them, or burn them - so much more humane....

And we do not irradiate our beloved land

~Swipe.

[Twistedstorytella (the 3rd)]

Not only do they wear burberry they wear designer clothing (proberbly stolen) and almost all the time wear caps.  And they sohuld die. All of them. 

[Instinct]

chav jokes.
what do you say to a chav/ned in a uniform?
i'll have a happy meal please

what do you call a chav/ned in a suite?
the accused

two chavs in the back of a car with no music on, whos driving?
the police

[Wurzelmaniac]

Two chavs race jumping off a cliff, who wins?

Society.

[Instinct]

1.What do you call a Chav in a box?

Innit.


2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted.


3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

Safe...


4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit.


5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.


6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.


7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

It might be your bike.


8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.


9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin' at?"


10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.


11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?

The police.


12.What do you call a chav in a suit?

The accused


13.What do you say to a chav in a uniform?

Big Mac and Fries please.



and the final one!

Two chavs riding along the A12 on a scooter. They break down and start hitching
a lift.

A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the chavs ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls
but will take a look at the scooter for them.

He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now
and he's late for his delivery so he tells the chavs he has to leave. "Gizza
lift," they say "Innit?".

The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000
bowling balls. The chavs put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in
the back will he take them and he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their scooter into the back of the wagon
so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is
really late and so puts his foot down.

Sure enough PC Plod pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver
what he is carrying to which he replies Chav Eggs. The policeman obviously
doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.

He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets onto his radio
and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible.

The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've
got a wagon with 20,000 Chav Eggs in it - 2 have hatched and the bastards have
managed to nick a scooter already".

[Vespasian Swiper]

I have a feeling that this is more appropriate for the Space Tavern now...

Or will get locked very, very soon.

~Swipe.

[Abraxas]

That Wikipedia explanation was hilarious. I can't believe they described such degenerates of society with such large words. Plus, the little cartoon of what a CHAV looks like was to die for. I am still smiling.

But yeah... we have them here in america... I always think of "Malibu's Most Wanted" when someone says "Wigger". What I can't satnd is when they say they are so tough and so mean and live in the ghetto... It makes me sick. I went to a private highschool with a tuition of $8,000 a year... plus, I saw some of their houses... they were bigger than mine. They were also in nicer neigberhoods. It made me so angry... but now I just laugh at them, realizing they will be the one on welfare and serving my my hamburger as I race to my corporation.

Ha... LOSERS they are. Social scum... thats all.

[Fat Badger]

Haha those jokes are gold.  Absolutely did not get #10 though.  That more of a british thing?

[Wurzelmaniac]

3 stripes for Adidas ('designer' clothing).

[Rasmus]

This has spiralled into off-topic spam, and shame on you all for not taking it to the tavern.

*Click!*