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Author Topic: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts  (Read 14867 times)

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Offline Talon Undecided

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2008, 09:14:46 AM »
The C'tan went into hibernation because they were too scared to face Chuck Norris.
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Offline BearBitesHurt

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2008, 03:00:30 PM »
Chuck Norris once punched a Farseer so hard that Slaanesh got a black eye.

Offline The Voivod

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2008, 04:06:05 AM »
That's nothing. He once punched the eye of terror a black eye.
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Offline Two Blades as One, Samurai Ichirou

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2008, 05:10:00 PM »
The two unkown legions and their primarchs were made from the DNA of Chuck Norris, they had to much power in them and eventually died.

Chuck Norris has no save. When he enters the battle, he wins.

The presence of Chuck Norris makes Orcs behave like the politicians at Westminster.

The secret behind the Land Raider and BaneBlades aromour is that hairs extracted from Chuck Norris' beard are woven into the plas-steel.

Chuck Norris sleeps with no stuffed teady bear, but the imperiums toughest titan.

Still I lay cold, my soul seeks light / my eyes are tired; my heart's last fight
Around my shell of wood and cloth / trickle sound of wound and loss.
Broken voices of tears and cry's / sorrow and love for a Nation's son's life.
Mother and Father alone in thought. / Of the bravery and pain in the battle we fought.
We move slowly we three welcomed home. / A parade of silence, hands and flags wave
Above our bodies, they gather as on, / Along this highway of heroes for two seconds of light.

Offline Talon Undecided

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2008, 09:31:44 PM »
Chuck Norris' tears can revive the Emperor, but it's a pity he never cries.
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #25 on: May 25, 2008, 09:57:54 AM »
Chuck Norris warcry is so terrifying that it makes the Nightbringer cower in tears like a baby.

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Offline 42

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #26 on: May 25, 2008, 10:05:34 AM »
chuck noris has 8 fingers each weilding a thunderhammer
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2008, 10:07:59 AM »
Quote from: 42
chuck noris has 8 fingers each weilding a thunderhammer
Ahem, a Strike First Thunderhammer, thank you very much.

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Offline 42

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2008, 10:12:19 AM »
A rending strikes first thunder hammer set with -2 to the save and ap 1
How the Chimney-sweepers cry 
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       And the hapless Soldiers sigh
        Runs in blood down Palace walls

Offline Starrakatt

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2008, 10:16:45 AM »
A rending strikes first thunder hammer set with -2 to the save and ap 1
No-no-no-no-no... It ignore ALL saves, including INV ones. A Strike First, Rending, Triple Strength, Pinning (yes, even in CC), Auto-Hit, Auto-Wound, Titan-Killer Thunderhammer is a minimum. At least.

   Starky :D

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Offline Jerseyboy381

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #30 on: May 25, 2008, 11:22:05 AM »
A rending strikes first thunder hammer set with -2 to the save and ap 1
No-no-no-no-no... It ignore ALL saves, including INV ones. A Strike First, Rending, Triple Strength, Pinning (yes, even in CC), Auto-Hit, Auto-Wound, Titan-Killer Thunderhammer is a minimum. At least.

   Starky :D

No, that's what his feet do in a roundhouse kick.
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Offline Lonewolf

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #31 on: May 25, 2008, 02:47:39 PM »
A rending strikes first thunder hammer set with -2 to the save and ap 1
No-no-no-no-no... It ignore ALL saves, including INV ones. A Strike First, Rending, Triple Strength, Pinning (yes, even in CC), Auto-Hit, Auto-Wound, Titan-Killer Thunderhammer is a minimum. At least.

   Starky :D

No, that's what his feet do in a roundhouse kick.

No, his round house is an instantkilling, outright slaying, vortex, i dont care what kind of saves or special rules you have, you are sooo dead attack.


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Offline 4084595657

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #32 on: May 25, 2008, 03:03:31 PM »
A rending strikes first thunder hammer set with -2 to the save and ap 1
No-no-no-no-no... It ignore ALL saves, including INV ones. A Strike First, Rending, Triple Strength, Pinning (yes, even in CC), Auto-Hit, Auto-Wound, Titan-Killer Thunderhammer is a minimum. At least.

   Starky :D

No, that's what his feet do in a roundhouse kick.

No, his round house is an instantkilling, outright slaying, vortex, i dont care what kind of saves or special rules you have, you are sooo dead attack.

Once executed it opens up the entire warp....and Chuck Norris is the warp!?!?!?!

Offline Lonewolf

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #33 on: May 25, 2008, 03:22:32 PM »
I sometimes wonder how Chuck feels, when he reads all those facts  :D

Oh and Gork and Mork are Chucks left and right fist.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2008, 03:23:42 PM by Lonewolf »


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Offline 42

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #34 on: May 25, 2008, 08:37:34 PM »
chuck norris poops ngreater daemons of nurgle and he fried the squats.
How the Chimney-sweepers cry 
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Offline FifthWindDieGermanator

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #35 on: May 26, 2008, 12:28:56 AM »
I sometimes wonder how Chuck feels, when he reads all those facts  :D.

He was actually interviewed about it, and he says he feels honored about it.
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Offline DA08

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #36 on: May 26, 2008, 05:25:36 AM »
Chuck Norris IS the emperor
let the Galaxy burn and with it all homework

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Offline Chuckles, The Space Marine Clown

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #37 on: May 26, 2008, 08:07:08 AM »
In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future there is no Peace, no Respite, no Forgiveness. There is only Chuckles wink Norris.

When the Emperor created the Space Marines his idea was that the final stage in their creation is the implantation of a single one of Chuck Norris' beard hairs into their body. Unfortunately this stage has never been completed, because No-one. Touches. Chuck's. beslubbering. Beard.

Caliban's disintegration had nothing to do with the Lion or Luther. Chuck Norris farted.

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Offline Lonewolf

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #38 on: May 26, 2008, 09:22:38 AM »
Chuck Norris once rebounded a Novacanonshot back to the capital ship with his beard. The crew was lucky, that death saved them from the revenge of Chuck Norris.

An'ggrath the Unbound once hit Chuck Norris with his axe and managed to split one of Chucks beard hairs 0,02mm. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked An'ggrath the Unbound so hard, that he was not only thrown back into the warp for 10000 years, but the impact also caused Khorne a headache from which he has yet to recover.



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Offline 42

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Re: Warhammer Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #39 on: May 26, 2008, 08:36:15 PM »
chuch norris whuped the emporer and pwned the primarchs
How the Chimney-sweepers cry 
       Every blackning Church appalls,
       And the hapless Soldiers sigh
        Runs in blood down Palace walls

 


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