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Author Topic: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..  (Read 7348 times)

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Offline Tebok

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If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« on: January 15, 2008, 02:25:04 AM »
What would you do? Where would you go?

Just remember, everything you can possibly imagine is out to kill you.  :o

I think the best bet is to settle down on some lightly populated world and stay out of everyones way.

Failing that, start slaughtering everyone I see until I become a Chaos Lord.

Failing any of the above - Suicide.

In the world of 40K Girlscouts probably have just as many daily casualties as the Imperial Guard does.  :-\


 


Offline Irandrura

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2008, 02:38:50 AM »
Just remember, everything you can possibly imagine is out to kill you.  :o

Not really. Ave imperator dominus, after all. You're just a random human. There's an entire galactic empire dedicated to keeping people like you alive. Depending on what world you land on, fitting into society would not necessarily be impossible. Surely you can follow along with a prayer or two?

Quote
Failing that, start slaughtering everyone I see until I become a Chaos Lord.

Because nothing could possibly go wrong with that... ::)
The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

Offline Tebok

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2008, 02:45:15 AM »
Quote
Because nothing could possibly go wrong with that... ::)

Yup! My plan is foolproof! I'll be the Lord of Chaos in no time!


Anyhow, one little slip of the toungue would land me in the hands of the Inquisition.


Offline Heretek

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2008, 02:48:17 AM »
Er, blend in, I imagine.

If I was on a relatively pleasant world, I'd find some job that didn't require any special skills, or required skills that I actually possess, and start a life.

If I wasn't on a moderately pleasant word, I'd join up at the next Guard muster, and get the hell out of there. Probably die on some Emperor-forsaken rock, but hey, at least I'd see the Galaxy.

Offline Alexander's Son

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2008, 03:55:58 AM »
 I would grab a bolter and head to the nearest Marine center...
Thanks to all the people showing faith in me

I sometimes feel that everyone will leave me and they will be on their own...

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Offline Irandrura

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2008, 05:17:03 AM »
Anyhow, one little slip of the toungue would land me in the hands of the Inquisition.

I was thinking more of the eternal torment and damnation of your immortal soul as you become a plaything in the hands of the infinitely evil and sadistic Ruinous Powers, but whatever works for you...
The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

Offline nurgle5

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2008, 06:56:44 AM »
I would join up in the adepts mechainicus and tell them how to use machines. "All hail Nurgle5! the only one who can use the ship's internal toaster! :D :D"

Offline Benis

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2008, 06:58:23 AM »
I would enjoy actually being in a world were religion works and immediately go to the closest Ecclesiarchy building to join His Most Holy Church. Serving the Emperor is probably a phenomenal experience considering how many people in this world are willing to waste their lives on serving some religion!  ;)

Otherwise trying to gain some sort of station above the press-ganged rabble on a cruiser would be really sweet although very difficult I guess. Maybe I can combine the two and become a priest on one of the ships plying the celestial shores.

Offline Xeal

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2008, 07:31:55 AM »
Join the inquistion probably, can't think of anything better than spending the rest of my life, torturing people and burning them as heretics, plus if i get high enough I get special products to extend my life for a very long time.

Offline malicant

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2008, 07:32:19 AM »
It might be entirly possible to land on one of thouse world where the imperium is a myth.  A million world, I'm sure it would be possible to find one that would probably be quite like earth today.

Offline Heretek

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2008, 07:34:30 AM »
Join the inquistion probably, can't think of anything better than spending the rest of my life, torturing people and burning them as heretics, plus if i get high enough I get special products to extend my life for a very long time.

I... I don't think one joins the Inquisition. I'm fairly sure you're selected.

Offline Irandrura

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2008, 07:52:01 AM »
The Inquisition has staff that aren't inquisitors. It would be logical enough for them to hire all those other people that keep the organisation going - secretaries, bureaucrats, legal experts, mechanics, you name it. It's safe to say they'd only select very qualified people, and there would be security measures, but they do need staff and it would make sense for people to be able to apply themselves. People can join the CIA, can they not? Chances are Xeal isn't sufficiently qualified, of course, as very few of us would be, but it ought to be hypothetically possible.

You'd be right about inquisitors, though. One doesn't volunteer to be one of those. You need to be chosen by an existing inquisitor.
The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

Offline Heretek

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2008, 07:58:13 AM »
I suppose so... Although something makes me doubt the Ordo Malleus advertises in the local newspaper.

Wanted: Interrogator

Inquisitor seeks interrogator for the questioning of heretics.
Applicants should be team-players, with a fanatical sense of devotion to the God-Emperor.
Must be prepared to travel, and face down unspeakable horrors spawned from humanities darkest nightmares.
Experience a plus.

Offline Irandrura

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2008, 08:07:20 AM »
I hardly think real world intelligence agencies do that either!

If you were, for example, a security expert with several decades experience, you might be hired by the Inquisition to help work on their giant-spiky-fortress-of-doom. There'd be an appropriate amount of paranoia, of course - getting a psyker to blank his memories of it afterwards comes to mind as a good precaution - but really, someone has to do these things.
The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

Offline Shiro

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2008, 08:35:40 AM »
It would be logical enough for them to hire all those other people that keep the organisation going...people can join the CIA, can they not?

Not sure about the CIA exactly, but must auxiliary staff in such organisations are public servants in one form or another or civilian consultants. Naturally the applications would need to be qualified and undergo background analysis etc, but otherwise they will not be substantially different from their counterparts in the private sector. 

As for the thread topic, if I were a human then definitely sign up to join the Imperial fleet. Touring around the universe fighting aliens has a sort of undeniable allure. Alternatively, an Eldar on one of the larger craftworlds would be a nice, comfortable place to benefit from the most advanced technology of all the races.

Offline Fugitive

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2008, 08:39:05 AM »
It would depend on where in the 40k universe I found myself.

I'd probably try to keep a low profile at first. Once Im sure that Im not on a deamon world, a tyranid hive ship or in an all out war zone I would probably try to make a deacent living with as little risk as possible.

If I had to fight I would probably join an IG conscript squad an stay in the back. Hiding behind 49 other bodies seems like a good idea. Powerarmor might be better, but far harder to come by.

Joinig the inqusition would be one of the last thing I would do. Im sure they run a background chek on all their employes and I wouldn't want to explain my non excistant past to their enterogators.   

I survived the "CoC Crackdown".

Offline Mad Dok Brown

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2008, 11:36:47 AM »
I would spend my life traveling to the maelstrom and joining the ranks of the Chaos Squats, but die from friendly fire for being too damn tall  :D

Offline YuenglingDragon

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2008, 01:11:33 PM »
Is amphetamine parrot myself an option?  I'd really like to amphetamine parrot myself.

Seriously, with the exception of some of the outlying worlds and agri-worlds, the Imperium seems to be a pretty beslubbered up place.  I'm too old to try to be a Space Marine (like I'd have the luck to end up on one of the .0001% of worlds where that's an option) and the Guard is a good way to get killed.

Maybe I'd try to make my way to a Tau controlled world.  The Utilitarian amphetamine parrot is dumb fluff but a damn sight better than endless toil in some Emperor forsaken hive.
Proposition beslubber wins by a landslide!  I'm the 2008 Space Marine poster of the year.

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Offline Banned Solorg

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2008, 01:18:56 PM »
I'd take out the Emperor with my massive psychic powers and then get humanity to bow down to me when I took over everything.  Next, I'd slaughter everyone who doubted me during my rise to power.  Finally, I'd launch this massive campaign to build a fleet the likes of which the galaxy had never seen and conquer the Tau.  With the Greater Good now serving Emperor Me, we'd take back all the worlds stolen by Chaos.  Since I'd be a much more powerful god than the Chaos Gods, I'd release all the Chaos Marines from their former master(s).  Then I'd try them for treason and dump them into the sun.

The Necrons would be next - I'd totally frag them all by forcing them to adopt Microsoft Windows Millenium as their new Operating System which I would do with a clever bait-and-switch virus/phishing scheme.  The Orks would be conquered easilly with free shipments of Fungus Beer which would first get them on my good side, then bring them under my control (the beer would be laced with Ridalin and LSD).

Oh yea, and I would have a palace made of solid gold bullion.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2008, 01:20:13 PM by Solorg »
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Offline Drizzle

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Re: If you suddenly found yourself in the 40K universe..
« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2008, 04:14:04 PM »
The Necrons would be next - I'd totally frag them all by forcing them to adopt Microsoft Windows Millenium as their new Operating System which I would do with a clever bait-and-switch virus/phishing scheme. 

Just give them vista and watch their heads explode.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, but only Chaos gives you eyes inside your mouth.
I also do agree with Sanctjud with what he is saying.

A typo, sure, but still eerily accurate...
(Sentinels are) "A heavy weapons team on stilts and raped in plywood" if you were.

 


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