An interesting way of representing an army overview, I liked it
As you said a little long, perhaps making a couple of notes about what you wanted to say about each unit would help move through them quicker.
I really like that assassin model and those storm shield are really sweet, I'm also using wyches as my deathcults as they fit perfectly.
Are you using the weapons that came with the dread or do you intend to make some autocannon arms?
Including the coteaz I saw on the table you have three inquisitor which is more than you can fit into an army, is this just so you can mix and match?