News: No news is good news...

Login  |  Register

Author Topic: How would you respond?  (Read 3528 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Abraxas

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1145
  • You do not speak for the rest...
How would you respond?
« on: November 28, 2005, 07:38:33 PM »
Well, I am not a father and don't plan on being one in the near future... but I want to know how fathers and fathers-to-be or people that may grow up to be fathers would respond to this question.

We all know kids are inquisitive and we all know that information needs to be tought to them in small doses, like revealing that Santa Clause nor the Easter Bunny actually exist (hope no one is surprised...  ;)) or how babies are born, mostly because of the delacateness of the situation and the delacateness of the child. So what do you say when your kid asks, "does God exist?"

Sure, you could be honest and tell them what you believe, be it "yes" (he does exist) or "no" (he does not) or you could leave it in the air and let them decide... but that brings up a whole host of problems because another thing about kids is that they are persistent. They will not back off from (or understand) a lecture about personal faith.

They will not be satisfied without an answer... so what answer would you give them? How would you deal with this situation?

I want to keep this as civilized as possible, so if you could simply respond with how you would answer your childs inquiry without criticizing the parenting of another member, that would be great.

Thank you in advance for your civilized responce.  ;D
« Last Edit: November 28, 2005, 07:40:36 PM by Abraxas »
The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
Ambassador Kosh

The universe is driven by the complex interaction between three ingredients: matter, energy, and enlightened self-interest.
Ambassador G'Kar


Offline Lomendil

  • Mad Prophet of Commorragh
  • Ancient
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10734
  • Country: 00
  • If it's comprehensible, it's obselete
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2005, 07:41:39 PM »
Honestly, I'd say that some people think he does, and that others think he doesn't. I'd say there's no way to know for sure. I would tell him that I didn't believe in God myself if he asked, but wouldn't volunteer the information.

Offline cymric

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 269
  • what to put here......?
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2005, 07:47:21 PM »
I would tell him that god exists, just for the fact that if he is too young to understand the great debate so to speak then he is most likely still living with me (I assume about 6yrs old mabeye right).  In response to the question I would start attending church with my child and let him make up his own mind from their.


I mean isn't that all we can do is to try to show them what we think is the best way wether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Wiccan.

We feel strongly for our beliefs and the positive impact it has on our lives so why not try to pass that on to our children.
"One by one we march in. Once more to the fray.  No mothers, no fathers. Just Bastards one and all"
-Captain Cymric Steiner 13th Cadian Inf Regiment"the Fighting Bastards"




Offline azore24

  • Infinity Circuit
  • Lazerous Penguin
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 900
  • Country: 00
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2005, 08:49:41 PM »
I on the other hand would probably pass the question to my wife ;)

but seriously:  I'd say some cryptic yes, but no answer and leave him/her thimking for a few minutes while I compose a better answer, probably yes
Unsophisticated players might think that the Letter of the rules is more important than the Spirit - but the Letter isn't liable to sneak up behind you with an axe if you abuse it.
"Esprit de Core," 2005


Offline Goyder

  • Workshy Lord Moddissar General, The King of Tanks
  • Ancient
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4071
  • Australian
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2005, 09:25:11 PM »
Im not a father-to-be (A lot of people would agree this is a good thing), but recently I had one of my little cousins (who's about 10 or so) come up to me during a family during a family dinner after a wedding, and ask me that question. I think she had been asking a few people over the night, for reasons that only a 10 year old can understand.

I just told her what I think.
"No Jess, I don't believe that god exists, but, when you're older, you'll be able to make that choice for yourself"
Now, im the only one in a big family who will not regularly attend a church, nor do I believe in religion itself. so there was this VERY awkward silence.
To which she replied, "Do I have to be old like grandma?" And thankfully, that broke the tension. (Kids say some pretty funny things sometimes).

I think i made the right choice, I answered what I believe, but also told her that its up to her to decide. And I would probably answer the same way when I do decide to have children.

Real men fight in Tanks!

Offline TheOnlySpiral

  • Keeper of the Book of Salvation; Last of the Timelords
  • Ancient
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2616
  • Country: ca
  • Returned from the Immaterium
  • Armies: Deathwing
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2005, 11:15:03 PM »
Personally? Goyder had the right approach.  Be honest, but tell them they can make the choice for themselves.  Kids need a good rolemodel...but they need to know that sometimes having your own opinion is for the best.
Quote from: David Holland
The Point of the Game is to be Playing it.

Quote from: Devern, The Unsung Hero
Actually, it pains me to say this, but Spiral is right.

Offline Sox'li

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 971
  • Laughing in the face of Danger
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2005, 11:45:09 PM »
Damn, here I am thinking up a philisophical answer and Goyder beats me to the conclusion ::).

I'd be more aloof in my approach and say something along the lines of "Well, that's a highly personal question that you'll be able to answer yourself when you're older. Just don't believe all the hype for or against him. Make your own observations, read into it and do some research. Now go to bed, it's passed your bedtime!"
I am a monument to all your sins.

"Discovery is always a rape of the natural world. Always."
-Jurassic Park

Offline Calus Drakin

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1966
  • Country: us
  • Armies: Night Lords, Eldar
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2005, 11:55:16 PM »
I would think it would be an easy response. Just answer a question with a question.

A child asks you if God exists.

You ask them if they think he does.

If they want to go into more detail, then simply do your best to make it clear that it's all about how they feel and whether or not they believe in him.

At least that's my opinion.
Considering my chosen armies are Vampire Counts and Night Lords, yes, I think "Back from the dead" is probably the most accurate description of my return.

Vampire Counts
     1 / 1 / 1

Offline October 19th

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 606
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2005, 12:50:56 AM »
One of the most important developments that occours during childhood is the development of the ability of a child to think for himself.  One of the things that really bothers me is when I see parents politically indoctrinating their children, or teachers telling children how to think.  Why? because it kills off that childs ability to develop his own thoughs, and to make his observations and derive answers based off of what he observes and how he interprets the situation.  In other words, to think rather than mindlessly belive what he hears.

If or when I have children, I would never tell them that there is an easter bunny or santa clause, simply because I believe it is sick to screw around with a childs senses and preception of the world.  Clearly there is no easter bunny.  A child, as he knows no better, believes and trusts you, only to come to the conclusion that his source was unreliable when he begins observing animals and starts to look for these strange things.  A child trusts you to show them the truth, and you betray their trust by throwing trash into their heads.

Because I would never tell my child anything but the observable truth (and let them think on and develop conclusions on everything else which is opinionated), I would be dissapointed in him if he seriously asks me if there is a god, without holding any kind of opinion on the subject based off his own thought and observations.


hmmm... my first post didnt go though; it is lucky that I copied it before i posted.

Offline Captain Leonidas

  • Our Little Red Friend - Captain
  • Lazerous Penguin
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2913
  • Country: id
  • Sword of Santiago
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2005, 01:09:39 AM »
While I agree that observable truth and ability to think on their own is important, I believe a set of morals and the ability to have imagination/fantasy simulated by fables/myth to be part of an important development.

because I believe that with these myth/fantasy their ability to think on themselves are complete. The ability to wonder, curiosity, capability to have reflection and self evaluate. Something I feel lacking in a totally irreligious bearrings. 

Decision remains on their own hands.  Being religious/not would also be their decision.
Signature Pending Update :P

Offline Abraxas

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1145
  • You do not speak for the rest...
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2005, 12:06:36 AM »
I know I am going against what I said (about responding to what people say... but hey, I am a hypocryte [sp?]) but I want to mention that Oct. 19 makes a good point about introducing the idea of santa and the easter bunny but I also liked Commissar Leonidas counter point on the issue.

If a child were to ask me I would probably answer with the question, "do you?". And no matter what the responce (provided it is a "yes" or "no") my response will be, "then it doesn't really matter what I or other people think."

If they refuse to answer the question I will make them form an opinion first. I hope this stimulates a sense of reality with the child, making them a)think about things for themselves (rather than be whisked into some religous dogma) and b) realize that their world is their own, not a product of what other people think.

I doubt I will introduce santa clause or the easter bunny and actually hope he/she goes to school to his/her friends and announces that neither fables exist. I think it puts other parents in a pretty pickle and teaches them that enforcing imaginary beliefs is stupid.

I know one thing that will occur is that my child will be more critical about his/her world, which may or may not be a good thing. I also want to point out that my parents told me that santa clause, the easter bunny and God all exist. I don't look at them with any ire for saying that, and to this day I do not believe in God and know that santa and the easter bunny were imaginary creations. I am not worse off becuase of it, but I also never saw the point of lying to a child in the first place.

Maybe Commissar Leonidas had a point...
The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
Ambassador Kosh

The universe is driven by the complex interaction between three ingredients: matter, energy, and enlightened self-interest.
Ambassador G'Kar


Offline Daemonknight

  • Minister of Information
  • Ancient
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1871
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2005, 05:31:27 AM »
Well I would ask the child what does he or she think God, the easter buddy, santa...etc is?  Well for Santa, there was a guy named St. Nicholas who give gifts a few centuries back.

In a way, things can exist as long as one believe it so.  Like good and evil, truth and justice, they are things that can change and varies person to person.

Or ancient history and religions, if there isn't anyone to believe in it, they would be forgotten and never consider to exist in the first place.

The best you can do is offer some insights of both sides of the coin, whether it exist or not and like Leonidas and the others say, let the child choose or if he or she can't, it is ok to wait or research more into it.
"A King will forsake his kingdom. Life and Death will clash and fray. The oldest battle begins once more."

Official 40k background

Specialist games

Vote for E:O/40k.ca

Offline 'Mark'

  • Major
  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1291
  • Country: 00
  • Run them to the ground!
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2005, 10:38:06 AM »
Well I would ask the child what does he or she think God, the easter buddy, santa...etc is?  Well for Santa, there was a guy named St. Nicholas who give gifts a few centuries back.

He still exists. http://www.grimeer.nl/pics/siterklaas2.jpg   The original Saint Nicolas, with his black helpers. Not that fraud the rest of the world worships - "Santa Claus" -  who has little elves instead of an army of black people all named Piet (Pete), even the females (though originally they were all males, of course) ;D


Anyway, I don't see what people have against telling 6 year olds that Santa and the Easter bunny are real... Kids live in an imaginary world anyway, a fantasy place where their teddy bears are alive and flies are pets that can talk. The only thing you're depriving them off is fun. The fun of anticipation, waiting to see if they get a present, getting all exited when it's christmas/easter/feast of St Nicolas and all other kinds of fun. It's not harmful to them.
That you don't want to lie to them from your own moral point of view I can completely understand, and I'm absolutely not saying that you should make them believe in it, but there's no harm in it when they do so please don't go saying that nobody should tell their kids that santa brought them those gifts.


As for the question about God, I'm with Abraxas. I see no need to repeat what he said.

Offline Oranjemens

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 367
  • Dieu et mon droit
    • The SpreeBB Resource Complex
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2005, 04:48:43 PM »
I'd agree exactly with Arcas on this one - I don't believe in God as such.  I more favour an 'alternative' Creation Story:

  • In the beginning, there was Science
  • And Science created the Universe and everything in it
  • On a planet, Science created Life, and from life evolved Humanity
  • And Humanity created gods, for humanity's greatest fear is that of the unknown, and the gods could explain the unknown away.

Of course, it's better if the child comes to such conclusions by themselves, as the Buddha Gothama said, "Do not believe what I tell you just because I say it, but because you have thought for yourself and seen that it is right."
WhiteElephant

Offline October 19th

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 606
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2005, 11:05:32 PM »
While I agree that observable truth and ability to think on their own is important, I believe a set of morals and the ability to have imagination/fantasy simulated by fables/myth to be part of an important development.

because I believe that with these myth/fantasy their ability to think on themselves are complete. The ability to wonder, curiosity, capability to have reflection and self evaluate. Something I feel lacking in a totally irreligious bearrings. 

Decision remains on their own hands.  Being religious/not would also be their decision.

Indeed, imagination is a vital part of mental development.  However at such a young age, a child does not recognize the difference between reality and fantasy; he takes such myths as truth without questioning or inquiring into them.  It is later on that he begins to wonder into them and, in all probability, figures out the hoax pretty quickly.  This may or may not be condusive to the development of a child's imagination, it depends on many factors.

I would agree however that a decision to be religious or not should remain in ones own hands.  I believe that it should not be forced upon people as children, as faith due to indoctrination derives from little choice.  I was raised as a christian by christian parents and attended a christian school taught by christian teachers.  I can account to being subjected to religious indoctrination from a very early age and resultingly holding absolute faith for a very great number of years.

Offline Captain Leonidas

  • Our Little Red Friend - Captain
  • Lazerous Penguin
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2913
  • Country: id
  • Sword of Santiago
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2005, 11:28:05 PM »
I see...

Well there are more than one way to raise a child. Religiously or irreligiously. My family is strong and pious in their Catholic faith, but the Catholic schools I am exposed too are liberal in its outlook and included many people in its ranks that are against Catholicism in general => Atheist, Deist, Communist, and other people you can imagine. I can say perhaps I am one of the lucky few that can have both religious upbringing at the same time exposed to different sets of morals and schools of thoughts.  :)
Signature Pending Update :P

Offline Captain Hajime

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1696
  • 1st Regiment Fuji System
    • Captain Hajime's Warhammer Web site
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #16 on: December 6, 2005, 08:54:31 PM »
Im not a father-to-be (A lot of people would agree this is a good thing), but recently I had one of my little cousins (who's about 10 or so) come up to me during a family during a family dinner after a wedding, and ask me that question. I think she had been asking a few people over the night, for reasons that only a 10 year old can understand.

I just told her what I think.
"No Jess, I don't believe that god exists, but, when you're older, you'll be able to make that choice for yourself"
Now, im the only one in a big family who will not regularly attend a church, nor do I believe in religion itself. so there was this VERY awkward silence.
To which she replied, "Do I have to be old like grandma?" And thankfully, that broke the tension. (Kids say some pretty funny things sometimes).

I think i made the right choice, I answered what I believe, but also told her that its up to her to decide. And I would probably answer the same way when I do decide to have children.



Shall the Truth not set you free? I have a different answer to the personal aspect but honestly can there be a better answer? the only thing I would add is "what ever your answer is, you are still my son/daughter and I love you."
"Men from different wordls, with different views, bound together by loyality to the Emperor. This is what we have become." Captain Hajime
"I have remembered, I do remember, I will always remember."
Imperial Guard, Space marines and Ork Collector.
First Fuji Regiment W: 0 L:     2 D: 4
Tenno No Samurai W: 1 l: 5 D: 7

Offline The Greatest King

  • Trolly McTroll Troll
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 62
  • Always Majestic
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #17 on: December 7, 2005, 06:45:22 PM »
I would never tell my children that christianity is true because I would never lie to them.
Hail to the King!!!

Offline Chuckles, The Space Marine Clown

  • Can't Touch This; Captain; Swarmlord - Tyranid Sweatshop Operator; 40KO's Official WMD; "No American orphans, please"
  • Ancient
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13094
  • Country: gb
  • I kill, maim and torture because I care
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #18 on: December 7, 2005, 06:47:07 PM »
Two non-linked statements, akin to saying "I would not steal because I like the New York Giants".

Saying christianity is true is not a lie, although it may come close to one if you don't yourself believe that.
The forum rules are fair and just. *twitch*

Offline The Greatest King

  • Trolly McTroll Troll
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 62
  • Always Majestic
Re: How would you respond?
« Reply #19 on: December 7, 2005, 06:49:34 PM »
That is horseamphetamine parrot. It would be a lie because Christianity can't be proved to be true. If I say it is true then I lie just as if I said it was true that Atlantis existed.  :P

Hail to the King!!!

 


Powered by EzPortal