40K Online

Community => Tavern Games => Topic started by: Calamity on June 14, 2009, 09:07:13 PM

Title: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on June 14, 2009, 09:07:13 PM
You know, I'm beginning to like the tavern games, so I going to have a crack at starting one myself.   ;D

The aim of this game is to simply come up with an idea for a scenario involving a 40k character that is either deeply embarrassing, painfull or humiliating etc for them.  Points for the funniest and most ironic (not really, just aim along those lines).  The only condition is that it has to be a 'person of authority', anybody from Commissar Yarrick to a regular unit squad leader.

Just to start us off:

Sgt Harker pops his back while tying up his boot laces in the fox hole.

Now, somebody else take over......
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 14, 2009, 09:12:15 PM
Karandras slap his brow in irritation when he remembers that he forgot his toothbrush at home - cave his own head in, forgot about the Powerclaw.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Baron de Pencier on June 14, 2009, 09:17:11 PM
Abaddon needs to scratch his junk. He does so, then cuts himself in half with his power claw.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sayt on June 14, 2009, 09:22:18 PM
Space Pope (Aun'Va) falls off his hover platform and breaks his back, due to being an old, old, old man.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lachdonin on June 14, 2009, 09:31:13 PM
The Emperor farts during the Soul Binding.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 14, 2009, 10:07:11 PM
Karandras go overboard trying to shave with his chainsword.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JamesBot 9000 on June 14, 2009, 10:27:37 PM
Chaplain Lemartes of the Blood Angels gets a bit drunk after someone spikes the red grail.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Baron de Pencier on June 14, 2009, 10:31:40 PM
The Princeps of an Imperator Titan spills coffee on his main control panel while the machine is being repaired in dock. 300,000 are crushed before he can get the spill cleaned.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 14, 2009, 10:37:19 PM
Poor Wraithlord git falls to wraithsight and wander off... splattering underfoot hapless Guardians citizens.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Droofus on June 14, 2009, 10:41:38 PM
After surviving uncounted wounds that would have killed a lesser man, Commissar Yarrick dies of constipation.  Ghazghkull never knew that his one weakness was a fondness for steak and a propensity not to chew thoroughly.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on June 14, 2009, 10:45:58 PM
Cowardly IG officer tries to abondon post.  Angry Commissar attempts to execute officer using a rapidly overheating plasma pistol.  Pistol backfires.  Commissar loses hand and cries for the medic, who lost his eyebrows in the blast while trying to plead officers case.  Officer runs away.  End.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 14, 2009, 10:54:15 PM
Marneus Calgar's Drop Pod retro-burners fails. Funny smear when it hits the ground.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lachdonin on June 14, 2009, 10:57:36 PM
Creed chokes on his Cigar after Krell yells so loudly in his ear he's forced to clench his jaw.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Bitter Old Man on June 14, 2009, 11:01:10 PM
Guardsman Marbo poisons himself while shaving with his toxic blade.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Foalchu on June 14, 2009, 11:34:44 PM
A Primaris Psyker forgets to take his magnesium and complains of a migraine.  Guess what happens when his commissar hears about it...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 14, 2009, 11:43:52 PM
Dark Eldar Jetbiker without his helmet (happens all the time) do some high speeding then get hit in the face by a seagull equivalent. Neck breaks.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Baron de Pencier on June 14, 2009, 11:49:29 PM
Necron Tomb World awakens. Necrons discover their planet's ice caps have melted, and the entire world is now a saloutrageously sexy lycra-clad pixieer ocean. Cue rust. Hilarity ensues.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: blinky jungle(REM) on June 15, 2009, 12:29:37 PM
Captain Sicarius slices a head off a tyranid gaunt which flies not a marine knocking him off a cliff.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JackofBlades on June 15, 2009, 01:47:35 PM
Stracken gets sand in his iron hand and it malfunctions, short circuiting and frying him.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Dinendal on June 15, 2009, 02:04:00 PM
Jain Zar having a frog in her throat.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Raktra (So long, I guess) on June 15, 2009, 04:42:01 PM
Chaplain Lemartes of the Blood Angels gets a bit drunk after someone spikes the red grail.
Tut tut Jimmy, that should be Corbulo ;)

Calgar and Lysander play patty-cake with their weapons, blowing each other to pieces.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JackofBlades on June 15, 2009, 04:47:48 PM
Wazdakka gets in a trafic accident
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Thalandir on June 15, 2009, 05:06:22 PM
Old Zogwort turns Ghazgkhull into a squig - woops, there goes the prophet of the Waaagh..... ::)

~Thal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 15, 2009, 06:39:50 PM
Eldrad Ulthran, legendary seer of Ulthwé, psycher supreme and pawner of Chaos - choke on a chicken bone.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Jester (Hadn't Changed His Profile Recently) on June 15, 2009, 08:17:58 PM
Eldrad's already dead in the middle of a big Slaaneshi circle jerk, choking won't make much difference.

 Lucius gets the herp.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 15, 2009, 08:29:29 PM
Who cares?

Hemorrhoids are what's really killed the Emperor. He officially died on the golden toilet.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Droofus on June 15, 2009, 08:45:51 PM
I'll expand on Jester's...

Fulgrim wasn't possessed by a daemon after all.  Turns out that madness is a side effect of syphilis.   
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Thalandir on June 16, 2009, 01:27:42 AM
Ghazgkhull and Yarrick decide to settle their differences over a slice of pizza and a game of 40k :P. Naturally, they both take their own model as their army's HQ.

Also, Marneus Calgar and Cato Sicarius grow bored of the Ultramarines, and spend the rest of their days partying with the daemonettes.

~Thal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Raktra (So long, I guess) on June 16, 2009, 05:38:51 PM
Cassius and Straken both fall afoul of a large magnet, and end up stuck together for eternity.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JamesBot 9000 on June 16, 2009, 11:25:44 PM
Chaplain Lemartes of the Blood Angels gets a bit drunk after someone spikes the red grail.
Tut tut Jimmy, that should be Corbulo ;)
I thought Lemartes was funnier because Chaplains are supposed to assert discipline and control over their brothers. :P


An ork who's born OCD.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sayt on June 17, 2009, 12:31:24 AM
An ork who's born OCD.

Even better, OCD painboy.

Chaos Lord getting turned  into a spawn by a random aspiring Sorcerer.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: burgers4me on June 17, 2009, 07:15:25 AM
Abaddon getting killed by a grot. (the old deep strike mishap; I pokez you in da atomz)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Archaon on June 17, 2009, 07:22:53 AM
Someone forgot to chain up the death company dreadnought......
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Fire_Vyper on June 17, 2009, 08:41:57 AM
Kharn the Betrayer becomes paralyzed, after tripping and falling down a large cliff,  in front of advancing conscripts and gets trampled to death.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lord Commissar Spiteful on June 17, 2009, 08:47:34 AM
Marbo breaks his neck when he slips getting out of the company shower.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on June 17, 2009, 08:56:43 AM
Space marine commander realises sand is in his armour.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JackofBlades on June 17, 2009, 11:17:46 AM
All non space marine characters are put on a bus and the bus gets blown up.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on June 17, 2009, 08:02:00 PM
Commander Chenkov spends the whole battle sending hundreds and hundreds of his own troops into the meatgrinder, heavy boltering the ones trying to retreat back, only to be executed by the commissar as a heretic for taking the emperor's name in vain when a sniper shot his vodka bottle.  Lousy hypocritical drunk. >:(
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Seren Nos on June 18, 2009, 10:20:15 AM
Eldrad Ulthuan being hit by a speeding waveserpent, as he didn't see it coming.....
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Droofus on June 18, 2009, 12:58:20 PM
A computer virus infects a tomb world, causing the Necrons there to become Benevecrons, who go around spreading joy and happiness throughout the universe.  There preferred method of attack is to phase in to impoverished parts of the galaxy and build schools and orphanages.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on June 18, 2009, 01:08:18 PM
Slanesh getting some form (or all of) of STD

(Droofus that would be scarier then a flayed one in my closet)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Archaon on June 18, 2009, 02:10:31 PM
Shrike twisting his ankle cos of a bad jump pack landing.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Raktra (So long, I guess) on June 18, 2009, 03:25:21 PM
Lysander playing Whack-A-Mole.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JackofBlades on June 18, 2009, 03:39:02 PM
Harker gets a hernia from carrying payback
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on June 18, 2009, 03:53:48 PM
The Duracel Bunny Runs over a necron lord
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: blinky jungle(REM) on June 19, 2009, 04:17:35 PM
Captain Sicarius throws his sword in anger embedding themselves in a gargoyle. Which lands on a marine who accidentally flames his unit and runs into a tyranid warrior jerking its   venom cannon. The splurge penetrates a dreadnought which falls on a deathworld sentinel, which chainsaws a guardsmen who drops his overheating plasma gun... onto a mine. The following explosion blasts the overheating plasma gun onto a carnifex. This causes it to knock a broodlord aiming at a Land raider with a vortex grenade and the tyranid mis-aims and throws said grenade straight into Captain Sicarius' hands.

Chain reaction mayhem Tyranid style.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: The_Gerv on June 19, 2009, 05:11:06 PM
Nightbringer, the Angel of Death, The Grim Reaper...getting turned into a squig of the rest of eternity.

The worst part is that this could happen in a 40k game.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on June 19, 2009, 05:24:32 PM
Nob biker pulled over for speeding and killed in  jail
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lachdonin on June 19, 2009, 05:43:15 PM
Calgar invites Abadon over for tea and crumpets.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ReaperGrim on June 20, 2009, 01:34:12 AM
Great Unclean One goes on the Atkins Diet to get in shape for the "beach season"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on June 20, 2009, 05:54:39 AM
someone releasing "those" slaanesh  and Khorne sex videos on the tinterweb
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Thalandir on June 20, 2009, 05:58:15 AM
Cato Sicarius looking in a mirror and NOT thinking, "Damn I'm awesome...."

It'd never happen. Same goes for Yriel.

~Thal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on June 20, 2009, 06:05:01 AM
Kharn "donating" some of that extra blood
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 20, 2009, 10:21:02 AM
Maugan Ra deciding to have that sex change operation to get one of the Banshees fancy suits and gear.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on June 21, 2009, 01:25:02 PM
Sammael winning the Moto GP
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on June 23, 2009, 08:00:45 PM
A Big Mek is fixing the inside of his shock attack gun's vacuum tube, when his oilers, wanting revenge for some previous beatings, turn it on.  It sucks in the mek's head and teleports it out of the workshop window and into the warboss' private dung heap before exploding, sapping the whole campsite in warp energy.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lachdonin on June 23, 2009, 09:30:59 PM
A Big Mek is fixing the inside of his shock attack gun's vacuum tube, when his oilers, wanting revenge for some previous beatings, turn it on.  It sucks in the mek's head and teleports it out of the workshop window and into the warboss' private dung heap before exploding, sapping the whole campsite in warp energy.

That sounds like a very orky thing to happen, actualy  :P
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sayt on June 23, 2009, 10:17:46 PM
A Big Mek is fixing the inside of his shock attack gun's vacuum tube, when his oilers, wanting revenge for some previous beatings, turn it on.  It sucks in the mek's head and teleports it out of the workshop window and into the warboss' private dung heap before exploding, sapping the whole campsite in warp energy.

That sounds like a very orky thing to happen, actualy  :P

My sentiments also.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Droofus on June 23, 2009, 11:05:29 PM
Mad Dok Grotsnik gets so drunk that he successfully performs necessary surgery that is completely painless for the patient.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on June 23, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
said patient is angered that the super power fisty dealy that he ordered was replaced with a prosthetic limb and beats grotsnik to death with his own creation
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Bitter Old Man on June 23, 2009, 11:51:59 PM
Khorne realized that as a warp based deity he is a creature of magic, and in a fit of self directed rage lops his own head off to add to the skull throne.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JackofBlades on June 24, 2009, 01:27:04 AM
Zogwort look into a mirror and you can guess the rest....
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: burgers4me on June 26, 2009, 11:15:40 PM
The four powers play cards. Nurgle forfeits as his pus dissolves his hand, Khorne spills his bucket of blood on Slaanesh who then starts a fight and all of them acuse Tzeenetch of cheating!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: CheesyRobMan on June 28, 2009, 01:08:34 PM
Fuegan pulls his Wave Serpent over at a gas station for some nibbles and beers. Boom.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Raktra (So long, I guess) on June 28, 2009, 01:34:23 PM
Nurgle throws a fondou party. Everyone dies of salmonella.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on June 29, 2009, 12:50:38 PM
The mighty Phoenix Lord Baharroth harass and shoot some Chaos Space Marines, as he's wont given his fighting style, find out what GW's done with the game and find it is more efficient to bash said CSM's brains in with hi weapon butt.

Technology FTW.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Droofus on June 29, 2009, 01:57:37 PM
Colonel Straken tries to get through a metal detector at the airport.    He then finds out that fighting orks is way less scary than a full cavity search by TS agents..
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ReaperGrim on June 30, 2009, 12:17:58 AM
Slaanesh gets subpoenaed for "R Kelly'ing" a minor...  :-*
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Outsider on August 11, 2009, 05:47:20 AM
khorn and all his minions drown in the blood of their victims and everybody looses the will to fight... galactic peace ensues
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 11, 2009, 12:03:47 PM
A defiler failing it's MOT
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on August 11, 2009, 05:22:19 PM
Someone dumps Mr.clean on nurgle.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on August 11, 2009, 05:48:36 PM
Chaplain Caussis makes peace not war with alien species
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 11, 2009, 06:09:49 PM
Sicarius getting turned down by the x-men for being "too much like that other guy"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: burgers4me on August 11, 2009, 06:29:27 PM
Skulltaker plays a bunch of cards with a platoon of Imperial Guard
(What should be happening....:D)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Tauir - "The Shadow" on August 11, 2009, 10:31:24 PM
Eldrad Ulthran gets in a shouting match with Yriel over who is the cheesiest character.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Thalandir on August 12, 2009, 04:56:28 AM
The Phoenix Lords argue over who is the least useful of them all.

~Thal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: blinky jungle(REM) on August 12, 2009, 05:01:55 AM
Ghazgull power claw turns into toaster. he then works in an old peoples home.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on August 12, 2009, 09:45:15 AM
Marbo looses a game of hide no seek with a blind man
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Chuckles, The Space Marine Clown on August 12, 2009, 10:13:17 AM
After a particularly furious battle with the followers of Slaanesh, someone gives Typhus an anti-bacterial shower
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: sarge_md ( AKA Sarge_jungle) on August 12, 2009, 11:39:44 AM
lucius the eternal bangs on his neighbors wall with a brush shouting turn the music down im trying to sleep
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sir Sam Vimes on August 12, 2009, 12:18:27 PM
The Deceiver actually believing the deceased president of Nigeria wants him to have all of his money.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 12, 2009, 12:19:45 PM
The mandarin kills Ghazgul believing him to be the hulk
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Telliria on August 12, 2009, 12:40:02 PM
The Avatar catches Eldrad trying to pick Yriel's treasure chest for the eye of wrath. Hot spanking ensues.
He didn't see that in his runes this morning.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ReverseGeneticDrift on August 12, 2009, 01:34:57 PM
Any Space marine living to an old age deserted on a lost planet.  Who manages to survive by starting a farm and enjoying it.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Noodles the Defiler on August 12, 2009, 01:51:13 PM
Creed fails a tactical move.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on August 12, 2009, 02:25:36 PM
The deathguard star in a deodent advert.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 12, 2009, 04:32:39 PM
A squad of firewarriors get's mugged in the street by an old lady with a bannana, they loose
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on August 12, 2009, 07:31:44 PM
ghazghkull gets an itchy eye and asks mad dok grotsnik for help
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on August 13, 2009, 02:05:20 PM
Yarrick needs to see a therapist for xenophobia
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on August 13, 2009, 05:09:21 PM
shrike lands on a chaos land raider  :o
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 13, 2009, 06:32:09 PM
Brin Milo get's an ASBO for piping too loudly and has his pipes confiscated
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Macharius on August 15, 2009, 05:12:26 AM
The rainbow warriors return. Only to be made fun of by their more attractive, and slightly less gay ultramarine brothers.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on August 16, 2009, 03:32:49 PM
Calgar looses an arm wrestling match to a grot
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Watchmaster Raus on August 16, 2009, 04:04:21 PM
Avatar dies to ratlings.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on August 16, 2009, 05:22:14 PM
(ha ha cpt cool it happened :P and here's another thing that happened)

abaddon and 10 termies get kicked back into the warp by a fleeing dire avenger  ;D
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Rakuall on August 21, 2009, 02:36:15 AM
Marenus Calgar gets caught with Chaplain Cassius, Calgar wearing nothing but the Gauntlets of Ultrmar adn Cassius wearing not but his rosarius.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sayt on August 21, 2009, 02:49:18 AM
Commander Farsight going blind.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Watchmaster Raus on August 21, 2009, 08:47:29 AM
The Death Korps of Krieg organising a pension plan
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Emperors Hammer on August 21, 2009, 11:13:37 AM
Ghazghkull and Yarrick skipping through a flowery meadow to "So Happy Together"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on August 21, 2009, 11:23:08 AM
A ork manages to win a case of racial disrcmination against the term greenskin from now on they are refered to as verdently colourled people.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on August 21, 2009, 11:30:58 AM
A ork manages to win a case of racial disrcmination against the term greenskin from now on they are refered to as verdently colourled people.

That's a good one!  And he wins a big bag of teeth and a peice of rusty sheet metal as compensation.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: wraithlordalex on August 21, 2009, 11:40:40 AM
Fabius Bile, Molecular Gastronomy(cooking).

Today's menu, Space Marine omelette's with extra green stuff.

Enjoy.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: HCR on August 21, 2009, 11:47:12 AM
A Tau Fire Warrior punches out Marneus Calgar.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on August 21, 2009, 12:50:21 PM
Commisar Yarrick running first away from a failing defense
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on August 21, 2009, 01:47:27 PM
Commisar Yarrick running away from gretchin
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Klamron on August 21, 2009, 06:08:31 PM
A gretchin killing an emporer titan by accidentaly dropping his wrench in the right place
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on August 22, 2009, 06:06:23 AM
yarrick and yriel realising that they are brothers because they have the same "eye"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Klamron on August 22, 2009, 06:46:56 PM
the deciever playing pranks on the nightbringer
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on August 22, 2009, 07:00:28 PM
The nightbringer being killed by a ratling..
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Klamron on August 22, 2009, 08:39:45 PM
ratling being killed by veracious foot fungus
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on August 30, 2009, 03:23:27 PM
The Avatar of Khaine losing His second last wound to a Grot in CC, then getting killed by a failed NO Retreat! save.

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Thalandir on August 30, 2009, 05:13:35 PM
The Avatar of Khaine losing His second last wound to a Grot in CC, then getting killed by a failed NO Retreat! save.

   Starky

Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't Grots Str2? And Str2 can't hurt T6?

Also, I'm fairly certain that you only take No Retreat! wounds if someone on the opposing side can actually hurt you :P.

Sorry to burst  your bubble there, Starky

~Thal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Starrakatt on August 30, 2009, 07:09:57 PM
Rly? Are we not in the: 'It Shouldn't Happen to a 40K Character' game? So, there. :P

And while we're on teh topic: Thalandir (the Clumsy Farseer) get his feet caught in the carpet, fall and break his scrawny neck. Didn't foresee that did you?

   Starky
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on August 30, 2009, 10:46:52 PM
vulcan hest'ian sells all of his relics at a garage sell.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on August 30, 2009, 11:37:49 PM
A Commissar Lord on the tv show 'Antiques Roadshow'
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on August 31, 2009, 02:05:57 PM
A black 40k character.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 31, 2009, 02:14:46 PM
Salamanders are all black.

Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on August 31, 2009, 05:43:17 PM
Salamanders are all black.

and therefore vulcan he'stan is

PS:PMF i find that racist
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on August 31, 2009, 06:50:06 PM
chaos lord hosting a church bake sale.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on August 31, 2009, 07:06:52 PM
A vox officer accidentaly tuning into police radio.


@Alerion, i'm sure it wasn't intentional, it's just most of the GW 40k characters are caucasian.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on August 31, 2009, 07:12:09 PM
the emperor get an itch on his nose while on the golden throne.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: sarge_md ( AKA Sarge_jungle) on September 1, 2009, 03:04:10 AM
Lucius complains about noise level at neighbours party
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 1, 2009, 08:06:32 PM
kor'sarro khans bike gets a flat tire.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on September 2, 2009, 05:03:51 PM
white scars and WAAGH! gutsmek meating and resolving their diffrences with a drag race between wazzdakka gutsmek and korsarro kahn.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on September 2, 2009, 05:30:13 PM
Salamanders are all black.

with glowing red eyes. I mean real black people not some faux-blacks.

Usarker E Creed and Jarren Kell are found to be more then friends.
Their gay.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 2, 2009, 09:05:05 PM
wraith (necron version) forgets to shift out of phase and gets run over by a land raider.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sayt on September 2, 2009, 10:42:17 PM
Knight Commander Pask dies when a vanquisher shell the gunner just fired Detones prematurely.  IE In the barrel, Causing the entire tank to explode.



Oh!  Here's a good one: Abbadon Succeeds.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on September 3, 2009, 12:40:29 PM
wazzdakka gutsmek realises he has been paying too much for bike insurance.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Klamron on September 3, 2009, 08:49:01 PM
the **** hits the fan

Leman russ, jaghati, guilmann and any other "missing" primarchs come back, all the necrons wake up, all the tyranids show up, all the good races team up, the 2 eldar gods still alive come back, khaine re-forms, gork and mork take physical form to fight the chaos gods, every single space marine is mobalised and the emporer is put in the BOm- DiGitYeSt dreadnaught Evar and PWNs likie 5 guys a turn cus his A charictaristic would still suck cus hes a dread
this would be Redonk, it would be Space-Ragnarock
warhammer 40'000 ends
no more warhammer 40'000 all models explode
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on September 4, 2009, 01:04:11 PM
the **** hits the fan

Leman russ, jaghati, guilmann and any other "missing" primarchs come back, all the necrons wake up, all the tyranids show up, all the good races team up, the 2 eldar gods still alive come back, khaine re-forms, gork and mork take physical form to fight the chaos gods, every single space marine is mobalised and the emporer is put in the BOm- DiGitYeSt dreadnaught Evar and PWNs likie 5 guys a turn cus his A charictaristic would still suck cus hes a dread
this would be Redonk, it would be Space-Ragnarock
warhammer 40'000 ends
no more warhammer 40'000 all models explode

your forgeting that this is the "it shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game. not the "it shouldn't happen to the 40k universe!'' game.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Unholy Worm on September 4, 2009, 01:19:55 PM
Commissar Yarrik looses his second eye and trips on a dead orks chopa.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: kwdav on September 4, 2009, 06:33:20 PM
The emperor gets up yawns has a glass of orange juice and some toast then turns to the nearby custodes and says "so much happen while ive been away"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Thalandir on September 5, 2009, 05:01:37 AM
Oh!  Here's a good one: Abbadon Succeeds.

Never going to happen  ;). It would mean that GW would have to come up with a story that doesn't start with "Abaddon launches his crusade" and ends with "Abaddon and the forces of Chaos are driven back into the eye of terror, and there was much rejoicing as the Inquisition killed anyone who came within five kilometres of the Chaos forces".  :D

~Thal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: kwdav on September 5, 2009, 11:21:18 AM
Oh!  Here's a good one: Abbadon Succeeds.

Never going to happen  ;). It would mean that GW would have to come up with a story that doesn't start with "Abaddon launches his crusade" and ends with "Abaddon and the forces of Chaos are driven back into the eye of terror, and there was much rejoicing as the Inquisition killed anyone who came within five kilometres of the Chaos forces".  :D

~Thal

wait that was stellar writing there do you work for the black library?

i got another one a vindicare assassin falls in love with a farseer and goes to live with her on her craftworld and they have babies.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Rigged Dice on September 5, 2009, 11:49:19 AM
a leman russ tank commander manages to kill someone with his sword
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 5, 2009, 11:55:50 AM
a leman russ tank commander manages to kill someone with his sword
well that would be more embarrassing to the person getting stabbed by the afore mentioned tank commander than the officer himself. any way, calgar gets into a slap fight with a 'furioso' dreadnaught.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on September 5, 2009, 07:36:03 PM
Captain Al-Rahem gets lost in the desert while leading a flanking maneuver and dies of dehydration. 
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on September 6, 2009, 01:28:13 PM
Captain Al-Rahem gets lost in the desert while leading a flanking maneuver and dies of dehydration.

as i said before this is the ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game. not the it ''It should happen to a 40k character!'' game. ;D
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Tauir - "The Shadow" on September 6, 2009, 01:34:56 PM
Captain Al-Rahem gets lost in the desert while leading a flanking maneuver and dies of dehydration.

as i said before this is the ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game. not the it ''It should happen to a 40k character!'' game. ;D
I think he's trying to say that the situtation he just named SHOULDN'T happen...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on September 6, 2009, 02:44:06 PM
and ima saying it should
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 6, 2009, 03:06:52 PM
anyway getting back on track... grey knight inquisitor gets drunk one night and wakes up in bed with two dozen daemonetts.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: kwdav on September 6, 2009, 03:57:52 PM
anyway getting back on track... grey knight inquisitor gets drunk one night and wakes up in bed with two dozen daemonetts.

lol that is all.

Khan gets a flat tire and AA cant get a car out for 3 hours.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 6, 2009, 04:00:04 PM
good one! when they do get out they have a moped for him.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: sarge_md ( AKA Sarge_jungle) on September 6, 2009, 07:01:58 PM
fabuis bile gets named doctor of the year and Corbulo is made to polish his medal
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on September 7, 2009, 01:19:39 AM
Chenkov joins Amnesty International
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 7, 2009, 01:02:36 PM
abaddon spontaneously mutates into a chaos spawn.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: kwdav on September 7, 2009, 02:00:59 PM
kantor breaks a nail punching a ork to death.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on September 7, 2009, 09:32:28 PM
Commisar Yarrick (or any commisar) asks nicely. :)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: alerion on September 8, 2009, 10:43:24 AM
Commisar Yarrick (or any commisar) asks nicely. :)

no it should be "Commisar Yarrick (or any commisar) asks. :)"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on September 9, 2009, 08:50:48 PM
Adeptus Mechanus Magii decieds to hacks and steal Tau tech for his own devices
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on September 10, 2009, 12:39:36 AM
Creed has a heart attack in the middle of a speech and dies.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: vezok14 on September 10, 2009, 02:34:38 AM
abaddon is on a planet alone and is fighting 10billion gretchin, after slaying them all he dies of boardem because the enemy were not fighting back then about 10 minuets later calgar comes down to the planet and starts laughing at the sight of abaddons corpes and then goes over to it and starts teabagging abaddon.

lol some of these jokes are sooo funny
i bet the eldar laughing gods craped his pants laughing


            -vez-


Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 10, 2009, 07:55:41 PM
a group of space wolves are caught raiding the farmers chicken coop.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on September 10, 2009, 11:31:49 PM
calgar is killed by a stray las-bolt in the face.  That'll teach him to wear a helmet!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 11, 2009, 08:04:41 PM
chaos marines tp the imperial pallace.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Exiled One on September 12, 2009, 02:34:34 AM
Then Kharn walks up and shakes his hand and pats on the back
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on September 12, 2009, 06:37:17 PM
Knight Commander Pask's tank crew report him the Commissariat for not driving economicaly
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Baron de Pencier on September 15, 2009, 04:56:58 PM
Yarrick gets a ticket from the Arbites for octuple-parking the Fortress of Arrogance.

Tzeentch plays Starcraft against someone from Korea... and loses.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Exiled One on September 15, 2009, 05:27:26 PM
Nurgle makes Magic Johnson Herald for spreading aids and tzeentch makes him herald for talking to kids about aids prevention
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Sgt. Ranger - (formerly SilverRanger) on September 17, 2009, 07:52:08 AM
Prince Yriels spear kills him.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on September 17, 2009, 09:37:23 AM
a master of the forge looks into the barrel of his conversion beamer and inadvertently blows his head off.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Emperors Hammer on September 17, 2009, 09:49:31 AM
A Slaanesh Noise Marine sneaks up on Sly Marbo while he is stalking a Lictor.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Rigged Dice on October 16, 2009, 08:00:07 PM
The emperor gets a reduced calorie diet.  Innocent psykers everywhere rejoice
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: NecronCell2131 on October 16, 2009, 11:50:40 PM
Marneus Calgar sends a company of Ultra marines to cleanse a new planet while doing so they find some ancient relics from before the Old Night. Becoming enraptured with these relics they decide to create a successor chaptor and based on these items. Bam (https://www.40konline.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mmogrindhouse.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F08%2Fhello-kitty-40k.jpg&hash=18d56de966a884496f75f53e4f1aab55819fba86) ARE BORN!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on October 17, 2009, 11:20:46 AM
Slaanesh preaches abstinences,
Khorne is a pcaifist,
Nurgle uses soap,
Tzeentch removes the fine print.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on October 17, 2009, 02:02:57 PM
khorn brezerker trips and impales himself and two others on his own chain sword.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on October 17, 2009, 05:04:00 PM
A ork Burna sings "We didn't start the fire!" :)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Outsider on October 18, 2009, 07:49:42 AM
the hive mind makes its minions fight through interpretive dance
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: verdonian_XII on October 18, 2009, 09:43:39 AM
Eldrad Triggers a claymore, BANG!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on October 18, 2009, 10:32:45 AM
Abbandon succeeds.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: NecronCell2131 on October 18, 2009, 12:17:13 PM
Kharn the Betrayer carries a white flag of peace
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on October 24, 2009, 12:20:39 AM
the emperor has an itch on his nose while on the throne.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on October 24, 2009, 05:46:24 PM
Nurgling sings... you know what, I`ll just show you.
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=astISOttCQ0)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: linnessi on October 26, 2009, 09:14:28 PM
emperors children have there mom barge into their room and rip out the cord to their cd player.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on October 26, 2009, 09:16:11 PM
logan Grimnar is caught eating Whiska's
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: linnessi on October 26, 2009, 09:24:34 PM
kharne decides he's had enough with the vilence, so he sits down by the fire place and reads a book.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: NecronCell2131 on October 27, 2009, 12:46:40 AM
Ork boys throw down their choppas and use their green thumbs to start a tomato patch
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: linnessi on October 27, 2009, 10:20:14 PM
a khorne berserker uses a bandade
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: sarge_md ( AKA Sarge_jungle) on October 28, 2009, 04:25:38 AM
kharn passes out at the sight of blood!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: chokoman on October 28, 2009, 04:47:19 AM
The Masque marries Brother captain Stern
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: sarge_md ( AKA Sarge_jungle) on October 28, 2009, 04:58:20 AM
they get a divorce and because stern is caught in bed with 50 daemonettes
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: chokoman on October 28, 2009, 07:23:29 AM
He (stern) becomes the mightiest daemon prince of slaanesh ever!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: JackofBlades on October 28, 2009, 09:39:47 AM
Stern eventually dies from Siphlis.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cakes on a plane on October 28, 2009, 09:40:32 AM
 A grey knight accidentally spills Daz on his power armour and becomes a white-knight
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: sarge_md ( AKA Sarge_jungle) on October 29, 2009, 07:56:47 AM
calagar loses a fight for the heavy weight boxing championship to a fat child
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on October 29, 2009, 07:42:57 PM
sicarius loses the fencing championship to the same child.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: chokoman on November 1, 2009, 03:45:05 PM
Then Clagar loses the re-match against said child.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on November 1, 2009, 03:46:55 PM
Said child then gives Yarrick a wedgie in front of his army.  The shock kills him stone dead.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on November 1, 2009, 05:34:41 PM
Said kid eats Khorne flakes for breakfast.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on November 1, 2009, 08:03:29 PM
any of the phoenix lords are outperformed by one of their aspect warriors.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Tethesis on November 1, 2009, 08:25:30 PM
Wraithguard trips over a pebble and cant get up.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on November 1, 2009, 10:00:45 PM
Canis Wolfborn is hunted down and killed by a roving group of house cats.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ArchKnightLeon on November 6, 2009, 03:00:56 AM
Yarrick, Cain and Gaunt all have a be-atch fight over who's the best commisair hero.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: chokoman on November 6, 2009, 10:13:57 AM
A fire dragon exarch with flamer takes an ice-bath and becomes an "ice dragon"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on November 6, 2009, 07:42:51 PM
a warlord titan gets downsized.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on November 6, 2009, 10:19:18 PM
"the swooping hawk exarch" is added to a bird watching book.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on November 6, 2009, 10:26:27 PM
Commisar yarrick Starts the ignition on the fortress of arrogance only to find a pamphlet for a Leons Clearout sale stuck to the hood.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on November 6, 2009, 10:45:31 PM
Yarrik is fined by the imperium because his Fortress of Arrogence was put at the bottom of "the Imperium's 10 least fuel efficient vehicles".
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on November 6, 2009, 10:51:31 PM
Yarrik is then forced to drive a smart car into battle, named the "the pillow fort of innocence"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on November 6, 2009, 11:24:35 PM
The Imperium is hit with an energy crisis. Guardsmen are ordered to conserve energy by limiting their shots with their flashlights. Those who fail to do so will be shot.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ArchKnightLeon on November 7, 2009, 07:35:30 AM
Commisar yarrick Starts the ignition on the fortress of arrogance only to find a pamphlet for a Leons Clearout sale stuck to the hood.

Indeed. And because of said pamphlet, Yarrick was so shocked that he ran The Fortress of Arrogance straight into the regimental ammunition bunker. Big explosions and laughter follow.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on November 7, 2009, 08:29:38 PM
Da orks form a boy band.

They are loved by a millions.

Ghaz, wazzdakka and badruk are all bigger than Zac Effron.

The masque and her group the "Slutty Sirens" quit the music world after realising they can't compete
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Cpt. Cool on November 10, 2009, 05:16:00 PM
Abbandon kills himself after realising he has been beat 12 or is it 13 times now by much less experienced commanders, in comparison
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: challenger 2 on November 12, 2009, 01:16:47 AM
logan grimnar goes down to a bar
he is later arrested for being drunk and disorderly and for punching a dog in the face
he then later claimed in court that the dog was an old friend
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on November 12, 2009, 07:50:36 PM
logan grimnar goes down to a bar
he is later arrested for being drunk and disorderly and for punching a dog in the face
he then later claimed in court that the dog was an old friend

lol ;D.

Captian Shrike's (the ravenguard person, think that's his name) jump pack fails.  Lands crouch first on the kill kannon of a battlewagan.  Speaks a few decimals higher for ever after.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Only Slightly Crazy on November 14, 2009, 08:39:39 PM
Tzeentch takes a lie detector test.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ArchKnightLeon on November 15, 2009, 07:50:08 PM
The Grey Knights were unexpectedly pranked by the Adeptus Administratum.
They were given super-strong bleach labled as 'Armor Detergent'.
Their armor turns bright white.
The fustrated Grand Master renames them the White Knights.

This video also has extremely good 40k jokes

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/517327 (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/517327)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Macharius on November 16, 2009, 05:58:29 PM
A White Scar does his laundry with a Blood Angel; Becoming a pink scar.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on November 16, 2009, 08:15:14 PM
a comissar is fired for being a workplace hazard.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: typhon on November 16, 2009, 08:25:05 PM
Typhus becomes allergic to flies

Kharne becomes a buddist
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on November 16, 2009, 08:28:03 PM
yarrick retires again and has to work at wallmart due to inadequate pension.

(nice avvy BTW)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: typhon on November 16, 2009, 08:34:28 PM
no yarrick has to work as a walmart greeter
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on November 16, 2009, 09:38:33 PM
during this time, as it has fallen into disrepair, Yarrik's bale eye occasionally shoots the person he's greeting. Because of this, there is now a sign warning people to duck whenever they hear a sparking sound.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on December 10, 2009, 07:38:19 PM
Marneus Calgar has to live the remainder of his death (he is dead right?) fighting enemies who constantly say:
"Look! It's Manus Cragnar, king of the space-machines!"
Calgar blames Lorizael for this confusion.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on December 10, 2009, 10:42:59 PM
siccarius trips over his sword and decapitates himself.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Imperial Guard Can Kick Your ... on December 22, 2009, 06:46:01 PM
Commisar shooting the emperor because he thought he was ding to much sitting around.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: CheesyRobMan on December 23, 2009, 05:04:58 AM
Jain Zar's first hot date in several hundred years ends badly when she sees a mouse and screams, making her date's head explode.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on December 31, 2009, 04:33:32 PM
undeterred she merely carries the corpse back to her car...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Spotted zebra on January 3, 2010, 03:45:52 PM
Harker has a tea party. End of story.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on January 3, 2010, 07:26:33 PM
an emperor titan trips over a pothole.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on January 3, 2010, 07:34:26 PM
An ork passes English class
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on January 3, 2010, 07:35:51 PM
no the ork is a highly paid professor of english.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on January 3, 2010, 07:41:47 PM
said highly paid ork professor of English is currently he is paid in American dollars. He asked that instead he would be paid in the "teef" he knocked out of his students. He was denied.

Better yet, Commissar Yarrik is the head of the school the ork works at.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on January 3, 2010, 07:44:33 PM
no yarrick has to babysit for the orks kids.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Spotted zebra on January 4, 2010, 04:25:36 PM
a guardsmen finally "getting some" with a sister of battle :P
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Hive Fleet Dread Q'thulu on January 6, 2010, 10:03:10 PM
sisters of battle and you thought s and m was painful

a weird boy actually blowing something up with his mind
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on January 6, 2010, 10:10:44 PM
Ork battlewagen crew think they get lucky when they run over Yarrick with their 40 tonne deff rolla...only to hear him shout 'is that all you got, you bloody green bastards!'', as he lay flatten out on the ground.

(this actually happened in the game I saw today!)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on January 6, 2010, 11:06:19 PM
Quote
Ork battlewagen crew think they get lucky when they run over Yarrick with their 40 tonne deff rolla...only to hear him shout 'is that all you got, you bloody green bastards!'', as he lay flatten out on the ground.

(this actually happened in the game I saw today!)

LALALALALALALALALAL A I never heard YOU! Yarrick probably THEN proceeded to bite the deffrolla off.

Necron Lord getting drunk at a party, then stumbles into a pool, short curciting.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on January 6, 2010, 11:25:09 PM
A Necron lord not realizing that without a brain to be impaired he can't get drunk. And that in drinking alcohol he probably would short circuit from that. Of course this all requires exposed wires, which since necrons are made of "living metal" they probably don't have.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on January 7, 2010, 01:05:09 PM
Quote
A Necron lord not realizing that without a brain to be impaired he can't get drunk. And that in drinking alcohol he probably would short circuit from that. Of course this all requires exposed wires, which since necrons are made of "living metal" they probably don't have.

wow what a buzz kill
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on January 7, 2010, 01:09:17 PM
Quote
A Necron lord not realizing that without a brain to be impaired he can't get drunk. And that in drinking alcohol he probably would short circuit from that. Of course this all requires exposed wires, which since necrons are made of "living metal" they probably don't have.

wow what a buzz kill

Yeah.  The very defination of the 'It shouldn't happen to a 40k character'' game is that, well, it shouldn't happen to a 40k character. :P

Oh right, the game.  Er, the emporer soils the throne.  Yeah.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Spotted zebra on January 9, 2010, 12:15:55 AM
Thats what he wears the big diper robe for!

A vindicare assasin failing.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on January 9, 2010, 09:37:32 AM
Quote
A vindicare assasin failing.

...after 2 months of sitting in a tree waiting.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Spotted zebra on January 9, 2010, 05:27:21 PM
with his tau buddy, that has "experimented" with cross dressing.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on January 9, 2010, 06:46:41 PM
Quote
with his tau buddy, that has "experimented" with cross dressing.

Ssshhhhhh our secret...

the tau then goes on to kill Abbadon in close combat (which should never happen to abbadon)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Spotted zebra on January 10, 2010, 05:29:44 PM
then has brutal love with his corpse (a crossdressing necrophile? eww :o)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Straight Jacket Zombie on January 23, 2010, 12:30:21 AM
Typhus catches A.I.D.S. and dies from a cold.

im evil
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on January 24, 2010, 10:01:21 PM
padro gets wasted one night and wakes up the next morning in bed with an ork warboss.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: CheesyRobMan on January 25, 2010, 06:16:26 AM
Lysander is forced to host a DIY show, the theme tune of which is "If I Had A Hammer".
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on January 27, 2010, 06:46:35 PM
inquisitor hosts a show about "tolerance" on public television.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Daorcboy on February 2, 2010, 11:44:42 PM
Ghazgkull has fallen and he can't get up
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Major Arah on February 3, 2010, 12:07:41 AM
Commissar runs out of ammo while doing a summary execution and fails to hit his target...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Nomsheep, the Modhunter. on February 3, 2010, 02:48:55 PM
sister's of battle have a costume 'malfunction'
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on February 3, 2010, 06:00:57 PM
cortez bursts in on a grey knight and a sister of battle in mid coitus.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Major Arah on February 3, 2010, 09:50:32 PM
Shield Drones overload and explode killing the Tau commander they were attached to.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on February 3, 2010, 09:56:16 PM
the tau invent a drone that does their laundry for them.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ArchKnightLeon on February 4, 2010, 12:14:59 PM
A particularly cocky Tau commander decides to mob a poor Guard company with 1,000+ Hammerheads.
The Imperial Commander couldn't care less and subjects the whole area to orbital bombardment.
(actually rather possible)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on February 4, 2010, 12:18:48 PM
cortez bursts in on a grey knight and a sister of battle in mid coitus.

Nobody expects the inquistion.

Their is a large student based peace movement in the imperiun about how the imperium is oppresing nids.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lachdonin on February 4, 2010, 12:19:34 PM
the tau invent a drone that does their laundry for them.

I could actually see the Tau doing this...


Yriel (Or any other Eldar for that matter) giving a short, concise explanation, free of metaphor of poetry.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: ArchKnightLeon on February 4, 2010, 12:36:04 PM
a marine shouts 'WAAAAAGH' in the middle of a greenskin purge.
his battle-brothers and the xenos all stare at him.
"Darn it, wrong line" the marine mutters.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on February 4, 2010, 10:35:14 PM
abbadon gets a debilitating boner from slaanesh in the middle of an assault with a fire warrior and is subsequently killed.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Major Arah on February 4, 2010, 11:11:52 PM
Khorne realizes that he has a more feminine side. FLOWERS FOR THE FLOWER GOD!!!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on February 5, 2010, 12:03:37 PM
slaanesh opens a day care center.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on February 5, 2010, 12:57:09 PM
The space marines realise they can't actually fit into their Rhinos as they are two small for ten men.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on February 5, 2010, 01:02:51 PM
commissar gets shot by a guardsman for running away.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: icn1982 on February 5, 2010, 04:42:17 PM
A sister of Battle refuses to get in the Rhino because another Sister of Battle is wearing the 'same' armour as her.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Hive Fleet Dread Q'thulu on February 7, 2010, 12:21:33 AM
a  nurgle marine ends up in a petobismol commercial
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Major Arah on February 7, 2010, 12:26:50 AM
The Emperor wakes up and realizes he was gay all along!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights on May 11, 2010, 03:33:46 PM
the swarmlord is parrying so fast that he loses control and cuts off his own limbs
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 11, 2010, 05:02:55 PM
An Ork goes to an anger management class
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Calamity on May 11, 2010, 05:05:37 PM
My baby's back!!! ;D

Marbo finial talks to us...before announcing that he's going into karaoke.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 11, 2010, 05:13:00 PM
Marneus Calgar is killed in close combat by an angry, rabid Grot
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 12, 2010, 10:30:20 PM
the khan kills sicarius yelling "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 13, 2010, 10:03:48 AM
A Bloodthirster runs from a firewarrior
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 13, 2010, 06:40:05 PM
a mawlock gets a frog in it's throat.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 13, 2010, 06:41:32 PM
A Grey Knight gets possessed by a Daemon
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 13, 2010, 06:45:45 PM
said daemon runs and wins election as us senetor.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Senor Cadian on May 13, 2010, 11:41:20 PM
A Skorcha troop dies of heat exhaustion on Tallarn.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: CheesyRobMan on May 14, 2010, 05:37:21 AM
The Vanguard Sergeant's jumppack fails to start during a deepstrike, and he makes his own little crater.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: PhoenixLord1989 on May 14, 2010, 06:13:22 AM
The Avatar got a sun burn while tanning with Calgar.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Gal'rgae Neverborne on May 14, 2010, 10:23:38 AM
Vindicare Assassin turns up for his first mission but after 3 hours of fighting and no kills he realises that he's left the training blanks in the rifle.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights on May 14, 2010, 10:44:39 AM
gabriel seth becomes a lumber jack and renames bloodreaver to woodchukker
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 14, 2010, 10:58:10 AM
Darnath Lysander joins the Iron Warriors
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Vosrik on May 14, 2010, 12:41:34 PM
A Trygon is tamed by a Tactical Marine.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 14, 2010, 12:46:45 PM
The Emperor Dies
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Vosrik on May 14, 2010, 12:54:17 PM
:o ↑ that should have happened a LONG time ago.....in a galaxy far, far away...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 14, 2010, 03:21:12 PM
Typhus is cured of the Destroyer Plague
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on May 14, 2010, 03:57:44 PM
A space wolf buys a razor.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Scarr, the horned rat on May 14, 2010, 05:50:21 PM
deliverance's helms has out on date and the salamanders and vulkan must go bare-headed. the following rascism by orks is so bad that the salamanders goes to mama.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Vosrik on May 17, 2010, 04:25:58 PM
The Tyranid run back home and eat their own planets instead of consuming others.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights on May 17, 2010, 04:39:14 PM
all of the space marines go hippy
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 18, 2010, 09:50:59 PM
corteaz becomes a pacifist.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 21, 2010, 08:38:12 PM
The Inquisition is accused of heresy and codemned
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: PhoenixLord1989 on May 21, 2010, 10:47:38 PM
The sisters of Battle come to save the day all in mystic spores.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Eldar Vampire Hunter on May 22, 2010, 07:40:27 AM
Fateweaver is killed by a Vortex grenade.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Robin de Tolens on May 22, 2010, 09:00:38 AM
An Haemonculus is eaten by his hungry grotesques. Bon appétit!
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Lachdonin on May 22, 2010, 09:04:21 AM
Calgar realises too late the volitile nature of Shield-Lasgun relations (Dune referance) and is killed in the ensuing thermonuclear blast caused when a stray las-bolt fired from the notoriously innaccurate Guardsmen hits his Iron Halo.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 22, 2010, 09:34:38 AM
A Tyranid Hive Fleet starves to death
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 22, 2010, 04:15:16 PM
the empirium becomes a democracy.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Daorcboy on May 24, 2010, 11:13:58 PM
Doom of Malan'tai dies to 4 gretchin. (Actually happened in my game. GO GRETCHIN!!!)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 24, 2010, 11:16:59 PM
the inquisition decides to go for the diplomatically correct solution.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Daorcboy on May 24, 2010, 11:22:07 PM
Ghazkull kills Yarrik...5 times in a row...Ending with both of them dying...and Yarrik gets back up again...(Seriously happened in a game, it sucked!)
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 24, 2010, 11:24:04 PM
yarrik is then killed again by grots. this time he stays down.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Yarrik on May 25, 2010, 02:59:52 PM
you guys are dicks....
Yarrick taking MORE than 30 seconds to kill a deamon prince, that'll never happen
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 25, 2010, 10:13:56 PM
yarrik gets that bebe gun for giftmass and shoots his other eye out.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Farseer Arendil on May 26, 2010, 07:48:40 PM
Yarrik goes to scratch an itch and decapitates himself with his power klaw
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Nomsheep, the Modhunter. on May 26, 2010, 07:50:17 PM
or he does the same thing and can no longer have kids
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on May 29, 2010, 03:19:37 PM
The deciever forces the nercons to rebuld his body again so he can have a goatee to stroake.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Bassiecore on May 29, 2010, 04:14:19 PM
Sicarius is vote to be the marine who most embodies the Codex Astrates and subsequently killed by Calgar on the grounds of "heresy"
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on May 29, 2010, 04:34:33 PM
Guilliman gets into trouble at school when his book codex astartes is just the art of war with the word space marine inserted fifty times. Cries when the emperor tells him how ashamed he is of him.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: slinky1984 on May 31, 2010, 01:56:40 PM
Dante's ancient jump pack malfunctions and he becomes a golden projectile speeding through an Ork horde. ;D
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Swamp Rat on May 31, 2010, 03:17:05 PM
Marbo finally talks. His first words are "I AM THE LAW". He then goes on to fight Calgar in a boxing match, only to lose on points. He beats him in a rematch, but is defeated by Vulkan. After training with the Ultramarines, he fights Vulkan and reclaims the title. Calgar fights Abaddon and is killed. Marbo goes to the Eye of Terror to fight him, wins both the match, and the approval of the watching daemons, and gives a passionate speech about how they learned to love him, so maybe everyone can learn to love each other, and the wars can stop. The daemons agree, and pour out of the Eye preaching how Humans aren't that bad. The Inquisition finds out and tries to kill Marbo, only for him to defect and join a Tau colony as a snake catcher. When a group of Daemon Doctors try to help the local Tau rebels, they are captured and the rebels slaughtered. Marbo leads a small unit of troops made up of Shrike, Harker, Stracken, Lukas the Trickster and Telion to reclaim the Doctors. He makes friends with Telion who tells him to call him School Boy, as he schools all the young scouts. They manage to reclaim the Daemon Doctors, and flee, only to be captured by the Tau forces. Marbo and Telion sneak up behind the capturing troops and use a Heavy Bolter to cause ridiculous amounts of damage to the troops, who are massacred. When speaking to one of the Doctors, Marbo learns that the Imperium has changed, and goes back, with a green bag over one shoulder.

He is captured by the Inquisition who freeze him for his crimes. 20 years later, after releasing Ragnar Blackmane from cryo imprisonment, Blackmane goes on a rampage and destroys the various planets of the now peaceful Imperium. The Imperium is forced to release Marbo, on the suggestion of the Living Saint, who refers to his old nickname of "Demolition Charge Man". He is used to kill Blackmane, yet simultaneously making the Imperium a better place for everyone. He falls in love with the Saint, and the two of them live happily ever after.

Now to see the expendables and fit more into the chronicle of Sly Marbo...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights on May 31, 2010, 03:23:36 PM
rambo meets rocky, intense haha XD

the living saint marries the sanguinor and with their holiness produce a new emperor, marneus calgar is not amused by the fact that he is no longer the number one poster boy and fights the child emperor and is killed by the boy at age 2 months
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on May 31, 2010, 09:09:07 PM
would not be surprised by either of those.

the emperor gets off of the golden throne and runs strait to the latrines.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Hive Fleet Dread Q'thulu on May 31, 2010, 10:16:12 PM
which are all out of order
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Swamp Rat on June 1, 2010, 05:59:24 AM
So grabs the nearest Custodes helmet...
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Bassiecore on June 1, 2010, 06:35:38 AM
to which said custodes replies "i am honoured" and faints
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: slinky1984 on June 2, 2010, 11:49:31 AM
The Emperor's head falls away from his body and one by one various uppity ups from the different chapters try to place the head back on his body only to be vaporized from the psychic energies until Mephiston comes. He wrestles with the Emperor's psychic energies but upon placing the head on the body he emanates a blinding light and raises his sword into the air screaming "I HAVE THE POWER!". He then transforms into an even greater being then he was and goes on a crusade across space to get kids off drugs and eating vegetables. Due to the over abundance of healthy kids the Imperial forces grow so strong that nothing can stand in there way.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Swamp Rat on June 2, 2010, 04:34:41 PM
He does all of this whilst riding a giant wild tiger.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on June 2, 2010, 09:30:51 PM
later realizing that the enemy were just a bunch of cardboard stand ins all along.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights on June 2, 2010, 09:36:01 PM
A sanguinary priest is caught binging on red thirst with vials of geneseed
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Awfully Dandy on June 3, 2010, 06:20:17 PM
A sister of batle enjoys whipping for your sins hour a bit too much.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on June 4, 2010, 04:35:22 PM
tycho opens a cloths store called "dantes secret".
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: (iNsertnamehere) on June 15, 2010, 07:17:19 AM
Marneus Calgar gets caught shopping there by an inquisitor and is thus sentenced to 100 years of exile on Catchan. There he meets Straken , with whom he has an epic "whose hand is cooler" contest. The ensuing auro of machoism destroys the entire planet and sentient life forms everywhere rejoice.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on June 18, 2010, 04:08:23 AM
meanwhile the death star pulls over and blows up terra.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Ail-Shan on June 18, 2010, 09:25:09 AM
Logan Grimnar, after hours of battling, is about to defeat the Avatar. But at the last second, the giant being takes out and throws a bone. Instinctively, the great wolf chases after it, right off a cliff.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Commissar ShoutY on July 13, 2010, 09:48:07 AM
were he lands on a warlord titan sneaking up on the avatar
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Hive Fleet Dread Q'thulu on July 13, 2010, 01:17:44 PM
but alas the warhound is built out of legos
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Hades Hound on July 14, 2010, 10:58:46 AM
A venerable dreadnought in the vaults of (unnamed chapter) rusts in place from years of neglect, all because of one embarrassing moment of incontinence in war council.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on July 14, 2010, 11:03:40 PM
logan grimnar gets neutered for being too aggressive.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Hades Hound on July 14, 2010, 11:46:58 PM
The emperor lets out a mighty belch after his latest meal of 10,000 psychers, the backlash destroying every mind within 1000 miles.
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: Commissar ShoutY on July 22, 2010, 08:28:14 PM
he then declears in a loud, proud voice...

'HELEN?? wheres my full english?'
Title: Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
Post by: dregogg on July 23, 2010, 10:20:04 PM
the adeptus terra evicts the emperor from the golden palace for being 10,000 years late on his rent.