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Author Topic: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.  (Read 48911 times)

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Offline slinky1984

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #300 on: May 31, 2010, 01:56:40 PM »
Dante's ancient jump pack malfunctions and he becomes a golden projectile speeding through an Ork horde. ;D
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Offline Swamp Rat

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #301 on: May 31, 2010, 03:17:05 PM »
Marbo finally talks. His first words are "I AM THE LAW". He then goes on to fight Calgar in a boxing match, only to lose on points. He beats him in a rematch, but is defeated by Vulkan. After training with the Ultramarines, he fights Vulkan and reclaims the title. Calgar fights Abaddon and is killed. Marbo goes to the Eye of Terror to fight him, wins both the match, and the approval of the watching daemons, and gives a passionate speech about how they learned to love him, so maybe everyone can learn to love each other, and the wars can stop. The daemons agree, and pour out of the Eye preaching how Humans aren't that bad. The Inquisition finds out and tries to kill Marbo, only for him to defect and join a Tau colony as a snake catcher. When a group of Daemon Doctors try to help the local Tau rebels, they are captured and the rebels slaughtered. Marbo leads a small unit of troops made up of Shrike, Harker, Stracken, Lukas the Trickster and Telion to reclaim the Doctors. He makes friends with Telion who tells him to call him School Boy, as he schools all the young scouts. They manage to reclaim the Daemon Doctors, and flee, only to be captured by the Tau forces. Marbo and Telion sneak up behind the capturing troops and use a Heavy Bolter to cause ridiculous amounts of damage to the troops, who are massacred. When speaking to one of the Doctors, Marbo learns that the Imperium has changed, and goes back, with a green bag over one shoulder.

He is captured by the Inquisition who freeze him for his crimes. 20 years later, after releasing Ragnar Blackmane from cryo imprisonment, Blackmane goes on a rampage and destroys the various planets of the now peaceful Imperium. The Imperium is forced to release Marbo, on the suggestion of the Living Saint, who refers to his old nickname of "Demolition Charge Man". He is used to kill Blackmane, yet simultaneously making the Imperium a better place for everyone. He falls in love with the Saint, and the two of them live happily ever after.

Now to see the expendables and fit more into the chronicle of Sly Marbo...
the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be able to function the way a soldier is supposed to function -- without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends on it.

Don't cry for the Happy dead
But weep for those who dread to die.

Space Wolves Win Draw Loss - 5-3-0

Offline High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #302 on: May 31, 2010, 03:23:36 PM »
rambo meets rocky, intense haha XD

the living saint marries the sanguinor and with their holiness produce a new emperor, marneus calgar is not amused by the fact that he is no longer the number one poster boy and fights the child emperor and is killed by the boy at age 2 months
From the skies we rain, as the emperors fist we strike against our foes, until all blood be it alien, heretic or mutant is spilled. we will not rest until the galaxy is cleansed free of these monstrosities and we hold these worlds in the name of humanity and its immortal emperor.

Offline dregogg

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #303 on: May 31, 2010, 09:09:07 PM »
would not be surprised by either of those.

the emperor gets off of the golden throne and runs strait to the latrines.
hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast. then hit 'em again before they get back up.-13'th cadia credo


Offline Hive Fleet Dread Q'thulu

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #304 on: May 31, 2010, 10:16:12 PM »
which are all out of order

Offline Swamp Rat

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #305 on: June 1, 2010, 05:59:24 AM »
So grabs the nearest Custodes helmet...
the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be able to function the way a soldier is supposed to function -- without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends on it.

Don't cry for the Happy dead
But weep for those who dread to die.

Space Wolves Win Draw Loss - 5-3-0

Offline Bassiecore

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #306 on: June 1, 2010, 06:35:38 AM »
to which said custodes replies "i am honoured" and faints

Offline slinky1984

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #307 on: June 2, 2010, 11:49:31 AM »
The Emperor's head falls away from his body and one by one various uppity ups from the different chapters try to place the head back on his body only to be vaporized from the psychic energies until Mephiston comes. He wrestles with the Emperor's psychic energies but upon placing the head on the body he emanates a blinding light and raises his sword into the air screaming "I HAVE THE POWER!". He then transforms into an even greater being then he was and goes on a crusade across space to get kids off drugs and eating vegetables. Due to the over abundance of healthy kids the Imperial forces grow so strong that nothing can stand in there way.
Please allow me to adjust my pants... So that I may dance the good time dance

Offline Swamp Rat

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #308 on: June 2, 2010, 04:34:41 PM »
He does all of this whilst riding a giant wild tiger.
the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be able to function the way a soldier is supposed to function -- without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends on it.

Don't cry for the Happy dead
But weep for those who dread to die.

Space Wolves Win Draw Loss - 5-3-0

Offline dregogg

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #309 on: June 2, 2010, 09:30:51 PM »
later realizing that the enemy were just a bunch of cardboard stand ins all along.
hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast. then hit 'em again before they get back up.-13'th cadia credo


Offline High Grandmaster smithmyster666 of the Grey Knights

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #310 on: June 2, 2010, 09:36:01 PM »
A sanguinary priest is caught binging on red thirst with vials of geneseed
From the skies we rain, as the emperors fist we strike against our foes, until all blood be it alien, heretic or mutant is spilled. we will not rest until the galaxy is cleansed free of these monstrosities and we hold these worlds in the name of humanity and its immortal emperor.

Offline Awfully Dandy

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #311 on: June 3, 2010, 06:20:17 PM »
A sister of batle enjoys whipping for your sins hour a bit too much.

Offline dregogg

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #312 on: June 4, 2010, 04:35:22 PM »
tycho opens a cloths store called "dantes secret".
hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast. then hit 'em again before they get back up.-13'th cadia credo


Offline (iNsertnamehere)

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #313 on: June 15, 2010, 07:17:19 AM »
Marneus Calgar gets caught shopping there by an inquisitor and is thus sentenced to 100 years of exile on Catchan. There he meets Straken , with whom he has an epic "whose hand is cooler" contest. The ensuing auro of machoism destroys the entire planet and sentient life forms everywhere rejoice.

Offline dregogg

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #314 on: June 18, 2010, 04:08:23 AM »
meanwhile the death star pulls over and blows up terra.
hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast. then hit 'em again before they get back up.-13'th cadia credo


Offline Ail-Shan

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #315 on: June 18, 2010, 09:25:09 AM »
Logan Grimnar, after hours of battling, is about to defeat the Avatar. But at the last second, the giant being takes out and throws a bone. Instinctively, the great wolf chases after it, right off a cliff.
You have your way, and I have mine.

Offline Commissar ShoutY

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #316 on: July 13, 2010, 09:48:07 AM »
were he lands on a warlord titan sneaking up on the avatar
Member of the prestigious 40konline commissariate, and we're here...

wonderful, amazing! i'm in awe of your uselessness

Offline Hive Fleet Dread Q'thulu

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #317 on: July 13, 2010, 01:17:44 PM »
but alas the warhound is built out of legos

Offline Hades Hound

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #318 on: July 14, 2010, 10:58:46 AM »
A venerable dreadnought in the vaults of (unnamed chapter) rusts in place from years of neglect, all because of one embarrassing moment of incontinence in war council.

Offline dregogg

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #319 on: July 14, 2010, 11:03:40 PM »
logan grimnar gets neutered for being too aggressive.
hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast. then hit 'em again before they get back up.-13'th cadia credo


 


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