Ok here it comes:
First of all, don't bother about the helmet bearer, he's cool but he's too expensive. 35 pts for a better save in shooting AND your opponent can get it too, if he is within the aura.
My god, your commander is a rip off. First of all you forgot the armour he should be wearing. 10 pts for that. Thats up to 90 pts. The thing you could do now is have him equipped with a sword of secrets, master crafted, and a combi meltagun. That'd be a tough model.
Another thing to consider is that the thunder hammers can be quite nasty in hth, first of all, they have a 4+ inv save against those nasty characters, and the characters will always try to kill your thunder hammer, even it does'nt instant kill him, for if he fails his inv. save he is either killed or stunned, hitting after the thunder hammer in the next hth.
Lightning claws are useless against tanks, remember that.
The good thing with the Deathwing is that you can mix your termies as you wish, creating nice combos in hth, like this:
Your crusader swoops up to the enemy, Out comes eight terminators, three lightning claws, one captain with sword, two flamer/fist, one thunder hammer, and a chainfist. This little group can take on any opponent, they beat both tanks and troops.
Moving on to the dreads...
first of all... why two assault cannons? They can have twin linked heavy bolters instead
That's way cooler. Just buy them in plastic format, slice off the assault cannon from the arm, and put two heavy bolters on top of each others in its place.
It's also much better because they re-roll all misses.
Another thing you could try out is to have a command squad, they are terminators, can have the apothecary, standard bearer and tech marine, and their various upgrades+ this cool tactic. You remember the heavy flamer I put in to the assault termies, well if you do the same here+ your leader, your sergeant, the tech marine, the apothecary and the standard bearer all go with combi bolter flamers.... hehehehehe..... I'll probably try it out today.