No Ork has the slightest clue when or where the legend of Saint Snik began, but every Ork begrudgingly agrees after much bickering on how it began... sorta...
It was during a long winter, or was it a wintry planet? No one can be sure, but the Orks were forced to take refugee from the freezing blizzard that had been going on for the best part of a month, curtailing any rationale thought of attack; the few who had tried either frozen to death or died upon reaching the Imperial lines. The Oomie Imperials' were similarly hiding out in their warm dugouts beneath the earth, but unlike the Orks who utterly bored they were already fighting amongst themselves, the Oomies had some pansy, emperor-lovin holiday to raise their spirits and wait the storm out.
It was during one of these lightless days as the guardsman were singing another of their Gork-awful tunes that thankfully no Ork could hear; storm and all that, did a daring kommando that legend would tell you was named Snik, made his way slowly across no-mans land with a handful of very sneaky Grots behind him; all of them dressed in ridiculous head to toe thick dark red furcoats, with heavy bags carried over their shoulders.
The exact details pertaining to the events behind those Oomie lines are often contradictory, and more often than not exceptionally nonsensical, be it one Orks' version saying Snik gave every Oomie within a 10km radius an ear to ear 'smile'; to anothers' that said the Grots were doing all the knife work whilst Snik sat on his arse eating roast aurochus; to the majority favourite, that Snik went 'And to 'And with a hundred Oomies at once, not that Orks can count...
What is well known as fact; or as near as a word of mouth legend comes to fact, that hours after Snik and his Grots had faded into the whiteout of the blizzard, the Imperial lines went up in a display of explosive might.
The multitude of explosions were so numerous and powerful the ground rocked beneath the Orks feet and the seemingly endless storm abated, if only for a few seconds.
When the explosions stopped and silence settled in again, many an Ork waited for Snik to return, but Snik and his Grots were never seen again... Well at least not for a year or so when, like a furry red ghost, he came strolling into another Ork camp, bizzarely on another world. He quickly loaded up with bombs, disappeared towards the enemy, and put on another fiery display for the boyz.
Since those days the exploits of Saint Snik; as he is affectionally know, are spoken of over mugs of fungus beer by highly intoxicated Orks about how he knew an Ork who knew an Ork who had met Saint Snik, or between Yoof and Skarboy with the ever boastful 'I made em some of dem bombs'. Whatever the truth, the legend of Saint Snik and his Grots of Giving grows, year by year, Ork by Ork. If you're very lucky, and the fight has been boring of late, one day you might meet an over dressed Ork in dark red fur, with sack carrying Grots in tow. If you do, sit back, wait a little and watch another legendary explosive spectacle.
Saint Snik's a comin to town!SAINT SNIKs ORK-MAS COMPETITION Welcome again to this very orky christmas competition. After last year's storm of interest there is high hope for more, cooler models/dioramas to be entered. Last years thread can be found
Here, as can last years winner (aka me) can be found
Here.
THE THEMEThis entire competition is about theme, to add little (or a lot) of Ork to the silly season we know as Xmas, or as the Orks like to call it Ork-mas. Saint Snik is of course the prefect example of how one Orkifies Xmas. Read on good fellows for some new inspiration!
‘A tale bout Snik you say? Hmm, lemme think bout dat. You eva urd da one bout how Snik got his Slay? No, didn’ think so. Well it wasn’ a night like ta’night….’
The tales of ‘Saint’ Snik were becoming infamous amongst Orks’ the galaxy over. But it’s the tale of how Snik got his Slay that every saddle straddling Speed Freek loves to hear.
It was on a some desert world, way out somewhere, or something like that, where Snik wearing his swarthy fur lined red coat, irrespective of the temperature, was getting up to his usual tricks again, this time with only two faithful (aka survived the longest) Grots of Giving in tow, Dunka & Punka.
They had just made their way, under the cover of a scouring dust storm, to an enemy encampment just behind the main line. He was about to get around to the usual wet work and bomb placement, when Snik’s luck took a foul turn. Not only was did the storm die down suddenly, but he’d unintentionally crept into a Space Marine…. ‘Wat u mean Space Marine? I’z urd it was some of the freakee black Eldar boyz’
‘ I urd it was one of dose, Nids ’
‘Nid? Since wen did day hav...’
Da boss reached out and clipped the Yoof round the head; interrupting such a magnificent story is rude.
‘Owww dat urt boss’
‘So it should, now shut up da both of ya, its Space Marines til I say it ain’t’
A Space Marine refuelling base. Under the roughly constructed shed, sat a damaged Rhino, several bikes and three very surprised Space Marines. The Space Marine bikers had been giving the Speed Freeks a run for their teef out on the dunes, and here were three umie ard boys within uncomfortable proximity.
How Snik, Dunka & Punka managed to survive the ensuing violence is of much debate. A boastful Ork will tell you Snik knifed the two weak ones without much fuss before going toe to toe with ‘Da Boss Marine’. The more experience and thick skinned Ork who’d survived a fight with a Space Marine will tell you it took all Snik’s skill to avoid becoming a red stain on the Rhino’s plating; some even reckon the Grots in an act of remarkable courage whipped out some explosives to ‘help da boss from gettin pasted’.
Whatever went down, any decent Ork storyteller can defiantly state with impunity that Snik (and the Grots) survived and downed, perhaps even killed two of the Space Marines before having to make a very quick escape using the closest idling bike in the shed. That it just happened to be a the snazziest bike in the shed probably wasn’t on Snik’s mind when he took it.‘Yea right boss’
The boss sat there laughing, ‘course he took da snazziest’
With a dust grinding tail spin, Snik shot out of the shed, Punka & Dunka hanging on for dear life to whichever surface wasn’t the hottest. Another roaring bike soon sped out of the shed chasing Snik’s tail. Now Snik was never a Speed Freek till that day, having spent his life trudging and sneaking everywhere, and so his skills with a bike were particularly questionable, however bolt rounds whipping past your head tends to sharpen those skills right up.
Not knowing ‘da need for speed’ was in him, Snik’s latent skills kicked in and he was soon weaving to avoid incoming fire from the Space Marine, as well as dodging the odd solid structure he came upon at ridiculously high speed.
Throught the encampment and over the front line, the quickly rousing Imperial camp was soon in Snik’s dust trail; the ruckus having woke them. With a quick glance behind him, Snik saw that the Space Marine hadn’t given up the chase. Realizing his pyrotechnic display was ruined, Snik decided to give the Boyz a different show all together. Snik kept the throttle down hard, much to the equally mixed horror/delight of the crap stained breaches of Punka & Dunka. He drew the Space Marine closer and closer to the Ork lines, till they were right before him. Snik spun the bike 180 degrees and gunned the throttle, throwing up an impressive wall of sand, whilst pressing down on the ‘fire’ button… which was met with a mighty click, and little else.
The Space Marine on the other hand was still firing his guns, racing towards Snik, and drawing a sword from a scabbard all at the same time. The noise roused the boys nearby and they began to watch the show. Snik braked left and begun a bike duel with the Space Marine that lasted an entire hour. Swerving, circling, taking pot-shots, high-speed melee clashes, and the odd Grot lobbed bomb. By this time Orks had streamed out of whatever hole they’d been sheltering under to watch the spectacle and in good old Ork fashion, bet on whichever combatant they wanted to see mangled.
Unfortunately for the Space Marine, it was his turn to have a bad day. Racing towards each other as if in a joust, the Space Marines bike guns having run out of ammo a long time ago, the two prepared to clash once again, their melee weapon drawn and ready to strike. Just as they came within striking distance, Snik being the underhanded sneak he is, let go of the handle bar, and shot the Space Marine in the face whilst swinging with his choppa.
Needless to say the Space Marine missed his counter attack and ended up with Snik’s blade embedded in his neck. The resultant crash of the Space Marine into a pile of rocks, and the subsequent fireball, brought forth riotous jubilation from the watching Orks. Snik, being the reclusive boss that he is, decided not to stick around and get congratulated, so he drove off on the bike and disappeared into the nearest Mek’s workshop with his new acquisition.
The Mek, simply now knows as Klaws, and Snik weren’t seen outside the workshop for nearly a week, until one day a mighty red beast of a butchered Space Marine bike rolled out of the workshop; Snik finally had his Slay.THE RULESThe rules for are designed to be followed without being too complicated.
• This competition is primarily a painting and conversion competiton, open to any member of 40KOnline, Ork player or otherwise. Whilst you don't have to massively convert any of your model, skillful paint jobs and mad converting skills will garner you more votes.
• You may enter any single model, vehicle, unit, diorama, or piece of terrain. You however may only have one (1) entry in the competition.
• All models should be based appropriately; whilst a detailed base isn't necessary a painted and flocked one is preferable.
• When posting updates on your entry, please post them in your original post in this thread, and please thumbnail your pictures. You can also post your entry into either the modelling or painting forums and link them back to this thread.
• Once the competition closes a poll will open to all 40KOnline members to vote on their favourite entry. In addition this competition will have a panel of three (3) judges (still to be chosen) who use the following set of criteria below to come to a verdict on who they think should get top prize.
Yes, this means there will be two 1st, 2nd and 3rd placed winners. Each winner, if part of the WotW - Green Menace, will receive 15 Teef in 1st place, 10 Teef for 2nd, and 5 for 3rd. And yes, it might be possible to win both the poll and judges vote, but thats up to you.
• The competition will run from the 1st of December to the end of day on the 29th of December (GMT).
THE CRITERIAPainting (1-10 points) - A clean cool paint job is the objective, but if you can make it suitably slick with shading, source lighting and other special techniques you'll get the high score.
Conversion (1-10 points) - Non-stock models with a high attention to detail, so that which has been changed looks like it hasn't. Do it good and you'll score highly.
Originality (1 - 10 points) If you do something no one has ever seen before or something incredibly cool you'll score highly.
Theme (1-10) If the model/s have been painted and/or converted up to the suitable Ork-mas spirit you'll earn highly marks.DROPFALLPS - Rules for Saint Snik on Slay coming soon!
