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Author Topic: One-liners about Kids  (Read 1425 times)

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Offline Spectral Arbor

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One-liners about Kids
« on: January 23, 2014, 01:43:49 PM »
Hi Everyone!

I'm not really sure how to start this thread, but I was advised to do so. As such, here goes!

"I like my kids... with a side of Fava Beans!"

If you have fun, one line quips about kids, please feel free to contribute! Never mind the complete lack of organic conversation leading up to this.
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Offline The GrimSqueaker

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2014, 02:20:30 PM »
Children are like aircraft carriers; not everyone should have them, few people really need them, they're expensive, resource intensive, and having them is supposed to be some form of major achievement.
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If you can't make fun of something, it's probably not worth taking seriously.

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Offline Halollet

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2014, 07:02:35 PM »
Quote from: Rummy on January 23, 2014, 02:20:30 PM
Children are like aircraft carriers; not everyone should have them, few people really need them, they're expensive, resource intensive, and having them is supposed to be some form of major achievement.

LMAO! That's perfect. Can I put that in my sig?

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One sure mark of a fool is to dismiss anything that falls outside of his experience as being impossible.

Offline The GrimSqueaker

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2014, 08:04:18 PM »
Go nuts.  :) I tweeted a shorter form of it last night so was already prepared for a thread of this calibre.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2014, 08:06:07 PM by Rummy »
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Quote from: @TracyAuGoGO
Tact is for people who are too slow witted to be sarcastic.
Drink
Knights Tippler
Quote from: Surviving the World
If you can't make fun of something, it's probably not worth taking seriously.

You have to love the smell of science in the morning. It smells of learning.... or perhaps a gas leak.

Offline Wyddr

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2014, 09:09:15 PM »
Cleaning your house while children live there is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
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Offline The GrimSqueaker

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2014, 10:03:50 PM »
Children are our future. Well, for me a hangover looks to be the future and I know which of them goes away the fastest.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2014, 10:07:46 PM by Rummy »
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Quote from: @TracyAuGoGO
Tact is for people who are too slow witted to be sarcastic.
Drink
Knights Tippler
Quote from: Surviving the World
If you can't make fun of something, it's probably not worth taking seriously.

You have to love the smell of science in the morning. It smells of learning.... or perhaps a gas leak.

Offline Grand Master Lomandalis

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2014, 10:37:01 PM »
What's better than waking up to the pitter patter of little feet?  Sleeping all day because you don't have any kids!
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If there is anything that recent politics has taught us, it is that quotes taken out of context can mean what ever you want them to.
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Offline The GrimSqueaker

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2014, 07:32:52 PM »
There's no greater form of contraception than being around other people's children.
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Quote from: @TracyAuGoGO
Tact is for people who are too slow witted to be sarcastic.
Drink
Knights Tippler
Quote from: Surviving the World
If you can't make fun of something, it's probably not worth taking seriously.

You have to love the smell of science in the morning. It smells of learning.... or perhaps a gas leak.

Offline Spectral Arbor

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2014, 09:14:47 PM »
I wouldn't trade my kids for anything... but a good night's sleep and a day's worth of peace and quiet. I'm talking a good 10 hrs of sleep.
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Offline Grand Master Lomandalis

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2014, 10:50:21 PM »
Quote from: Rummy on January 26, 2014, 07:32:52 PM
There's no greater form of contraception than being around other people's children.
... as long as you are a man.  There is no greater want to conceive than a woman around another persons new born.
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If there is anything that recent politics has taught us, it is that quotes taken out of context can mean what ever you want them to.
Quote from: murgel on June 11, 2017, 08:30:34 AM
Well I always liked the globals...
I knew I had fans!!!

Quote
"Dark Angels are Traitors" is the 40k equivalent of Flat Earthers.  You can provide all of the proof you want that says otherwise, but people just can't let it go...

Offline Sir_Godspeed

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2014, 03:31:28 PM »
Well, you probably have this in English as well, but there's a Norwegian saying that goes; "Truth is what you get from drunks and little children."
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Offline Spectral Arbor

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Re: One-liners about Kids
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2014, 03:38:37 PM »
;)

I dunno, when I get my kids drunk, they just start spouting gibberish about loving people and how the Ninja Turtles should be real. Maybe it's a double negative sort of thing.
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