I don't suggest your MSU tactical squad in LR teleporting assault termies tactic. For one that is a lot of points to get a teleport homer to where you want. Also, I'm not sure if the teleport homer being on the unit inside a vehicle counts as "being on the table" so you may not even get to use it to deep strike. The most important aspect is that teleporting assault termies is generally not a good idea. They come down, and then can not assault until next turn leaving them open to shooting. Even behind your LRR a smart player can get around the side to shoot them up. You also have to consider you can not be 100% certain when they will show up from reserves. They do not get rerolls on reserves like our jump packers do. I would drop the LRR, beef up the tactical squad to 10 with wargear and a rhino. Stick the termies in the Raven. flat out 24", shoot the MM, assault next turn.
five assault termies on their own are fairly lack-luster as well. You generally need a Chaplain, or even a Libby (ours can give preferred enemy to the squad) for rerolls to hit in CC. This is pretty crucial on small elite squads such as termies. You could drop Mephiston to save points, and take a cheaper Libby in termie armor.
I'm not a fan of flame storm Baals. They need to get close to do damage and this means meltas, fists, MCs, side/rear armor shots. Out flanking can be risky as well as again, you won't know when or even where they will show up. I generally prefer the assault cannons/HB combo and move them up to mid field with assault marines behind (taking cover). You may also want to consider vindis instead for this mech wall tactic. If you don't want to use the heavy slots and keep the FA, landspeeders can be quite and effective screen for assault marines. With their speed, a MM can get within range quickly and Typhoon ML launchers are quite versatile. The speeders would also give you some much needed longer ranged fire power.
The MM dread in the pod seems rather out of place. It is the only thing deep striking turn one and is basically a suicide unit. You may want to consider dropping it for something else.
Vehicles transporting assault units and dreads that want to CC really need extra armor. It is much more than a 1/6 chance and you NEED to keep these things moving.
The other thing missing from this list is Sanguinary priests. In my opinion/experience, these are ESSENTIAL for non-full mech BA lists. You assault marines become quite a bit more powerful in CC with them. They will last longer (getting to CC and while in CC) and have more punch with the higher strength and initiative.