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Author Topic: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.  (Read 36385 times)

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Offline Calamity

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The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« on: June 14, 2009, 09:07:13 PM »
You know, I'm beginning to like the tavern games, so I going to have a crack at starting one myself.   ;D

The aim of this game is to simply come up with an idea for a scenario involving a 40k character that is either deeply embarrassing, painfull or humiliating etc for them.  Points for the funniest and most ironic (not really, just aim along those lines).  The only condition is that it has to be a 'person of authority', anybody from Commissar Yarrick to a regular unit squad leader.

Just to start us off:

Sgt Harker pops his back while tying up his boot laces in the fox hole.

Now, somebody else take over......

Offline Starrakatt

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2009, 09:12:15 PM »
Karandras slap his brow in irritation when he remembers that he forgot his toothbrush at home - cave his own head in, forgot about the Powerclaw.

   Starky

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Offline Baron de Pencier

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2009, 09:17:11 PM »
Abaddon needs to scratch his junk. He does so, then cuts himself in half with his power claw.
I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success.
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Offline Sayt

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2009, 09:22:18 PM »
Space Pope (Aun'Va) falls off his hover platform and breaks his back, due to being an old, old, old man.

Offline Lachdonin

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2009, 09:31:13 PM »
The Emperor farts during the Soul Binding.
Remember, you can make yourself a Hero, but only others can make you a God.

Offline Starrakatt

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2009, 10:07:11 PM »
Karandras go overboard trying to shave with his chainsword.

   Starky

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Offline JamesBot 9000

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2009, 10:27:37 PM »
Chaplain Lemartes of the Blood Angels gets a bit drunk after someone spikes the red grail.

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Offline Baron de Pencier

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2009, 10:31:40 PM »
The Princeps of an Imperator Titan spills coffee on his main control panel while the machine is being repaired in dock. 300,000 are crushed before he can get the spill cleaned.
I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success.
-Nikola Tesla

Offline Starrakatt

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2009, 10:37:19 PM »
Poor Wraithlord git falls to wraithsight and wander off... splattering underfoot hapless Guardians citizens.

   Starky

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Offline Droofus

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2009, 10:41:38 PM »
After surviving uncounted wounds that would have killed a lesser man, Commissar Yarrick dies of constipation.  Ghazghkull never knew that his one weakness was a fondness for steak and a propensity not to chew thoroughly.
\

Offline Calamity

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2009, 10:45:58 PM »
Cowardly IG officer tries to abondon post.  Angry Commissar attempts to execute officer using a rapidly overheating plasma pistol.  Pistol backfires.  Commissar loses hand and cries for the medic, who lost his eyebrows in the blast while trying to plead officers case.  Officer runs away.  End.

Offline Starrakatt

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2009, 10:54:15 PM »
Marneus Calgar's Drop Pod retro-burners fails. Funny smear when it hits the ground.

   Starky

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Offline Lachdonin

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2009, 10:57:36 PM »
Creed chokes on his Cigar after Krell yells so loudly in his ear he's forced to clench his jaw.
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Offline Bitter Old Man

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #13 on: June 14, 2009, 11:01:10 PM »
Guardsman Marbo poisons himself while shaving with his toxic blade.
The men of the Imperial Guard come from all planets in the Imperium. Their numbers are limitless. I shall bury my enemies in bodies and drown them in rivers of blood.

Offline Foalchu

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #14 on: June 14, 2009, 11:34:44 PM »
A Primaris Psyker forgets to take his magnesium and complains of a migraine.  Guess what happens when his commissar hears about it...
"Some call the Eldar decadent.  If that is true, the Imperial Army could do with some of that decadence."
"We warned you of the price of your actions, now you must pay it in full - in blood."
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Offline Starrakatt

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2009, 11:43:52 PM »
Dark Eldar Jetbiker without his helmet (happens all the time) do some high speeding then get hit in the face by a seagull equivalent. Neck breaks.

   Starky

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Offline Baron de Pencier

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2009, 11:49:29 PM »
Necron Tomb World awakens. Necrons discover their planet's ice caps have melted, and the entire world is now a saloutrageously sexy lycra-clad pixieer ocean. Cue rust. Hilarity ensues.
I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success.
-Nikola Tesla

Offline blinky jungle(REM)

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2009, 12:29:37 PM »
Captain Sicarius slices a head off a tyranid gaunt which flies not a marine knocking him off a cliff.
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Offline JackofBlades

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #18 on: June 15, 2009, 01:47:35 PM »
Stracken gets sand in his iron hand and it malfunctions, short circuiting and frying him.

Offline Dinendal

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Re: The ''It shouldn't happen to a 40k character!'' game.
« Reply #19 on: June 15, 2009, 02:04:00 PM »
Jain Zar having a frog in her throat.
"The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, `for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'

"`But,' says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'

"`Oh dear,' says God, `I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

 


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