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Author Topic: The Fallen Host - Critique Welcomed  (Read 743 times)

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Offline Holdfast

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The Fallen Host - Critique Welcomed
« on: September 9, 2008, 06:47:56 PM »
Alright, so I'm getting a friend into 40K, and as such have decided to start a new army. My friend decided on Dark Angels, and we both thought it would be neat to make our armies 'arch-rivals', so I decided to make a Chaos list based on my own brand of fallen. I apologize in advance if this doesn't flow as well as I would like, but I'm on all sorts of prescription drugs right now, and they've got me all messed up. So here's what I've come up with so far:

The Fallen Host

The Fallen Host are a group of Dark Angels who gave themselves to chaos during the Second founding. Lucifer was a veteran marine, who was being considered as commander of a new successor chapter. Lucifer knew the Emperor had the ability to harness the power of the warp, and in his arrogance, believed that the Angels, as the first legion, and him, a veteran of the heresy, could harness this power for themselves. It was through this misguided idea that Lucifer’s chapter fell to chaos. They seek perfection through the dark gods. Lucifer’s original intention was to disrupt the powers from within, but his mind has become tainted by chaos. The fallen see themselves as having sacrificed themselves to chaos for the betterment of the Imperium, and still chant litanies to the emperor in battle. It is unknown why the chaos gods allow The Fallen to continue with their misguided ideals, but who can speculate the motives of beings as fickle as the Chaos gods?

At the same time Lucifer was promoted to the head of his chapter, Brother Ash received a successor chapter of his own. The two marines had been veterans of the same squad of the Dark Angels' Deathwing during the Heresy, and received enough recognition to be honoured with Chapters of their own during the second founding. When Lucifer made the decision to sacrifice his Chapter to chaos, he had already been tainted by the promises of the Dark gods. He asked Ash to join him in battling chaos from within, but Ash saw this taint, and refused, and attacked the traitor marine in an attempt to stop the taint before it spread to Lucifer’s entire chapter. Wounded, and more determined than ever, Lucifer returned to his chapter and fled into the eye of terror before Ash could reveal his treachery. This created a rift between the former comrades, and although Ash is long dead, Lucifer – who has been driven quite mad – still holds a great resentment for the Angels of the Order, and they for him.

As for units in the army, I basically just renamed the unit divisions (IE "The powers" instead of a troops choice)

The Choirs

The Seraphim
(the Seraphim were the most powerful of the choirs, therefore represent the special characters, the most powerful in the chapter)
Lucifer – Lord of the Fall (Follows Nurgle, after being mortally wounded in battle with his friend, he sought immortality)
Sammael – Master of Souls(Follows Tzeentch, fluff to follow)
Ezekiel – Champion of the Fallen (Seeks perfection in battle, and follows Khorne)
(still thinking of a Seraphim for Slaneesh)

The Dominions (the Dominions were the leaders of the angels)
Lords

The Thrones (the thrones were the angels through whom one could connect with god - IE Slaneesh)
Sorcerers

The Archangels (archangels could be from any choir, and basically represent the most powerful and respected marines)
Lucifer’s Honour Guard – Mostly Veterans of the Heresy who followed Lucifer in the fall, Ezekiel, Sammael and Lucifer included.

The Cherubim (the second most powerful choir)
Chosen, Possessed, Dreadnoughts, Terminators

The Powers (the general foot soldiers of the angels)
Chaos Marines, Noise Marines, Plague Marines, Bezerkers, Daemonettes

The Virtues
Bikers, Raptors, Spawn

The Principalities (Angels that harbored Hate for all life)
Defilers, Havocs, Obliterators, Land Raiders, Predators, Vindicators

Motto:(from Lionel Johnson's poem "the Dark Angel")
And all the things of beauty burn
With flames of evil ecstasy.

I apologize for the brevity, but this is a work in progress.

Any constructive criticism would help, either on how to make it flow better, or suggestions on how to make the fluff better in terms of story.
As to the characters, I plan on making Special rules for Lucifer, Sammael and Ezekiel (I know there is already a DA Character named Ezekiel, but the name just works so well) but I don't have any plans yet, other than that Lucifer is a daemon prince, Sammael is a Sorcerer, and Ezekiel is a lord, so I am open to suggestions.

Cheers!

+EDIT+
Just made some basic changes to the seraphim.

I planned on doing some level of conversion on all the models, (IE wings on the characters) would that pose a problem for characters that can't actually have wings, such as a Terminator Lord, as far as WYSIWYG goes? I understand that just adding wings to the model wouldn't actually allow him to fly, but would it be allowed in tournaments?
« Last Edit: September 9, 2008, 09:42:15 PM by Holdfast »
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Offline Myen'Tal

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Re: The Fallen Host - Critique Welcomed
« Reply #1 on: September 9, 2008, 07:07:00 PM »
Everything is solid so far, good work. I don't see anything that couldn't work, though the word Seraphim could get confusing if your fighting sisters of battle. Maybe you could go into more detail on the Angels of Order. Their fighting style and whose leading or something like that. Nice fluff so far, keep it up! Welcome to the fiction board by the way! ;D
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Offline Holdfast

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Re: The Fallen Host - Critique Welcomed
« Reply #2 on: September 9, 2008, 07:11:53 PM »
As far as the Angels of the Order go, I'm not really the authority on their fluff. They're the DA successor chapter that my friend is making. I'll post any fluff he comes up with on here, but I'm not sure how into writing he is. If it comes down to it, I may just write it for him  ;D
« Last Edit: September 9, 2008, 09:44:54 PM by Holdfast »
Freedom
Some use it
Everyone enjoys it
Few defend it
Proud to be a Canadian Soldier

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Offline Harlequin ofthe LaughingGod

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Re: The Fallen Host - Critique Welcomed
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2008, 10:33:49 PM »
Great fluff though dominions and seraphim are both terms for sisters of battle.
The wysiwyg rule is more for if you don't have something but say it does. If the character has wings not a big deal now if it had a jump pack then yes it would be a problem.
Max

Offline Carniflex

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Re: The Fallen Host - Critique Welcomed
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2008, 10:49:37 PM »
I truly love the notion of evil Dark Angels (as we know all Dark Angels are evil!). My one gripe is the biblical name reference, which is something GW seems to do to death with their own Sammael, Abaddon, Ahriman, angle. These are all names of the devil, or in some scriptures his associates if you don't know. But regardless, if they're all emulating names from heroes of the Dark Angels in a deliberate attempt to sully them, I guess its an interesting jab at the Imperium. How interesting would it be to have say, a renegade warlord from the Ultramarines who calls himself Gulliman?

You could perhaps have your dreadnought going into a rage because when he found out the 'secret' it made him go ape. On one final note, I LOVE the motto
Don't disappoint me, or I'll make you wish you could die.  - GLaDOS, universe's best Cryptek

 


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