Topic: The court of the Monkey God

[jawmonkey]

Welcome one and all, I am the infamous irrepressible Monkey King, Trickster God, and Great Sage Equal of Heaven. Endowed with divine wisdom I have taken it upon myself to share this bounty with all of humanity.Be it legal matters, a search for personal exploration, or even just stopping in to beg for a boon of the Monkey God; I shall oblige to the best of my abilities.
May the disgruntled, slandered, and otherwise wounded members of the tavern bring their complaints to me and I shall settle the matters for them.

Now this thread will die a quick and painful death without your help, oh members of the tavern. You see it wouldn't be very fun if this thread only consisted of me rambling off sagely advice. This thread needs others, those who seek wisdom and justice (tavern style) with equal zeal. This thread also needs various court functionaries; advisers, lawyers, and others will be needed. (feel free to make up an position, just make it sound properly imperial)

So that the court shall remain well founded in logic and wisdom, it is of the Monkey God's opinion that these persons at the very least be Senior Members of the tavern community; any and all may apply, but they must have undeniable proof of their proficiency at the position they wish to fill. They may also rest assured that this court is in some ways a democracy; I am not so full of myself to believe that my opinion could not be swayed by an effective argument (e.g. I will listen to you my wise advisers, and respect your views within reason...)or just throw feces at you.

So in ending, come one and all, to the court of the Monkey King, Trickster God, great sage and equal of heaven! Please enter these hallowed halls with grand anticipation! For you shall surely leave with great wisdom!

[Starrakatt]

The door of the Court's main room creaked open, as the long nose of Starrakatt preceded the Formidable Tavern Psychologist - "Errr, Is this the toilet room? I mean, I smell something, so I thought... Well no, it seems not... But I would advise you to clean up a bit if I were you... I am a very Good adviser you see kind sir Monkey..."

The Ineffable Overlord of Goodness lifted a brow as the Monkey stared back at Him - "What?"

   Starky

[jawmonkey]

"Ha, Ha! My first victim... errr seeker of knowledge!" The Monkey God drops his banana and looks up clapping,"and what may I do for you kind sir? Do seek wisdom? employment? Resolution? Speak up my gentle tavern being!"

[Starrakatt]

"Employment, although I do not ask for a salary, as I have My own assets well planted in the Tavern - And besides, I am a great dispenser of Wisdom and maker of Grief in there, better to BE the Law than be under th Law, if you see what I mean..." [chuckles, chortle & snigger]

  Starky

[jawmonkey]

I'm actually amazed you didn't use any black text in that last post; it was ripe with opportunities.

Well, sticking to the rules, I see you are at least a senior member of the forums; but why should you be considered for the position of Explicator*?

*pick a better position out of the inquisitor's retinue if you dislike this one, but you still have to prove your worth.

[Starrakatt]

"Why don't you tell Me yourself, heh?"

Besides the fact that I am one of the rare who can wipe your arse bare handed?

Starrakatt looked around, thinking... "Besides, who else?"

   Starky

[jawmonkey]

The Monkey God stares sagely for time, holding his chin in his hands. The Monkey God lowers his hand, sits back in his thrown and begins.

I see your sig proclaims you to be the "2008 taverner of the year"; such a highly esteemed honor must surely have been gained through many acts of wisdom. While I am not sure that your wisdom has exceded my own... yet. You do however show much promise as exhibited in your past endevours. Surely with you at my side we might be able to deliver advice that is doubly wise.

Thus from this time forward, Starrakatt shall be the Grand High Explicator of the Court of the Monkey God!

[strikes floor with magic iron rod*]

I will not use such displays of wisdom for most of you others wishing to join the court; some members have a tradition and reputation that procedes them, others... are dorks. Which are you?

*I use many examples of abilities of Sun WuKong, may as well look him up, if you feel like it.

[JamesBot 9000]

If you have to ask why this is locked, you haven't been paying attention.