Author Topic: The Ulta-New-Adventures of the Spacktardis! (Read 12029 times)

Vespasian Swiper · « **on:** January 25, 2009, 05:26:21 PM »

Swiper smacked his head against the Time-Temporal-Vortex-Drive's command module again, he knew he should have never trusted buying such an item in the Great Woolworths Sale...

"Dammit..." The last attempt to restore the temporal time-rift had resulted in disaster, the timeline was slightly skewed with Samuri Dinosaurs now ruling the Imperium, Tau Ninja and Eldar Pirates rules Segmentarus Obscrapus, and even worse Season 46 of Desperate Housewives have been cancelled. Something had to be done, but what? Any real move would create a paradox above paradoxes unless...

"By the power of Greenstuff I've got it!" he cried in joy and dashed over to the Reverbiral-Consciousness-Conductor he started entering rough coordinates into the system; Sigma, Dociaros, Ignitious, Britanios, Kieraknightlyos, Tremultuous Ocatdollos, Carmeldansenosqis, 9.99 at KFC deal... Swiper meticulously entered each variable and wandered to the 'Time-Temporal-Transporter-Device-Of-Confusion-and-Entirely-Possibly-the-Cure-to-Biscuit-Brown-Constipation-Contraption' (TTTDOCAETCTBBCC).

He felt himself fall through the very fabric of time and logic, and indeed pure sense once more and after what seemed like an eternity stuck in a Blondie concert he opened his eyes.

He was in a room with a few individuals, could - for once - the Spacktardis have sent him a group of loosely competent heroes to restore order to the time-line?

Well almost certainly not.

Starrakatt · « **Reply #1 on:** January 31, 2009, 02:56:38 PM »

One of the 'individual' moved to face the Swiper, His gleaming, immaculate, white Business suit so dazzling that it make all of the others present squinting badly.

He then produced a huge Cuban, took a drag and slowly blew the stinking, cancerous smoke in the OP's face - "Howdy Swipey, seems that since the Goovil Council is now in standby you'll get the privilege to have Me buggering you for a while..."

The Overlord of Goodness smiled hugely and wrapped His Left Arm around Swiper's shoulders, giving him a manly hug - "We'll have fun... right?"

Starky

42 · « **Reply #2 on:** January 31, 2009, 05:17:51 PM »

For the Love of the Gosd's again? Why can't I have a quiest beslubbering vacation?

Starky Hi how are you long time no see.

The figure nonchalantly drew his sidearm and asked Swiper what was going on.

Tauir - "The Shadow" · « **Reply #3 on:** February 1, 2009, 01:16:20 PM »

"Gah, not another adventure that I will be sucked into..."

Tauir groaned aloud, nearly forgetting to cover his mouth.

Vespasian Swiper · « **Reply #4 on:** February 1, 2009, 07:06:50 PM »

Swiper shook his head, "Starky... err I thought that I left you to die on Tiberian... wait no, thats in twelve thousand years or so, err... just go with it when that happens, for the timeline and what not..."

The other motley crowd looked at him strangely, "Ok... so in some bizarre cross-over madness that hasn't been explained at all and never will be, I now appear to be a furry-esque Fox, and yes I am wearing a 1930s PIesque coat, and have a fedora on... never play with genetics kids - or like go out with a furry in 2340..."

Swiper turned round, his bushy tail slapping 42 across the face, "So, we must repair the timeline! Well... once more really, essentially a load of crap happened and we'll most likely fix it with a series of losely comic disasterous adventures. And if we fail, well the timeline will remain somewhat warped and arguably more awesome... but more warped... so yeah. What year be this?"

42 · « **Reply #5 on:** February 1, 2009, 10:43:58 PM »

"I came from 1917 not sure if that helps. I had been on leave from the R.F.C as a pilot. If you touch me with that thing again I shall torch it. Hang on oh bugger. Swiper you turned me to a snow leopard."

Tyranid_Wannabe · « **Reply #6 on:** February 2, 2009, 07:02:40 AM »

"Hey didn't this die a pitiful death last time, barely even scratching the surface".

T_W looked around. "Things don't look any brighter or rosier either. But I suppose I'll put my hand up for the few posts that this will last"

Vespasian Swiper · « **Reply #7 on:** February 2, 2009, 09:25:35 AM »

Swiper raised an eyebrow, "Well... not quite as badly as Foxies attempts usually end up... yes... quite..."

He pulled a torch from his pocket and moved the beam around the room, "Hmm... appears thats a reinforced door over there, someone be a good fellow and try and break the damned thing down..."

Starrakatt · « **Reply #8 on:** February 2, 2009, 10:51:19 AM »

"Mmm, seeing as most of the brutes in there come from stone age or worst..."

The Lord of Goovil examined the door, activating the sensors in His Left Hand^tm to try detecting any active trapwire or energy source from the door - just in case - then looked back at Swiper, a benevolent smile painted upon His Mr. Glad lookalike face: "Would brute force do?"

Starky

Vespasian Swiper · « **Reply #9 on:** February 2, 2009, 10:55:17 AM »

"Sure... I mean I'm too lazy to do it but if you'd oblige..."

Starrakatt · « **Reply #10 on:** February 2, 2009, 12:34:43 PM »

Starrakatt looked closely at Swiper, wondering why He should do all the work while the man took it lazy... "Oh well." [shrug]

The mighty being powered up the Left Hand^tm and got to work on the door. [Punching the thing trough, then ripping off the half melted wreck from the frame - IF it works...]

Starky

42 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 2, 2009, 12:41:04 PM »

"Cute, but why not simply unlock it" gesturing to a switch and keyhole. "Oh well, Shall we then Chaps?"

He drew a webley revolver and stepped through the door.

Vespasian Swiper · « **Reply #12 on:** February 2, 2009, 01:29:25 PM »

The door exploded in all directions from the force, a shard embedding itself deep in 42's shoulder, he screamed in pain.

The corridor ahead was crumbling and evidently rather old from the water leaking through the roof and the mismatched ancient stonework almost spoke of tales of heroism and bravery.

"Hmm... Someone lead the way..."

Tauir - "The Shadow" · « **Reply #13 on:** February 2, 2009, 09:13:15 PM »

Tauir's hand blazed into a torch, lighting up the deserted hallways in a dazzling display of show-off.

"Here we go, sir."

42 · « **Reply #14 on:** February 3, 2009, 08:03:38 PM »

"For fucxks sake thats a new jacket." He wrenched the shard from the jacket fortunatly it had not peirced the skin more than a cm or SO."Lets Go and the next thing that meets me will meet pain" He strode onwards slowly with the torchman.

Starrakatt · « **Reply #15 on:** February 3, 2009, 09:58:37 PM »

"Yeah, that's it, lets meat pain..." Added Starrakatt as He followed suite. Funny how people get to complain for every little tidy bit of badluck...

Starky

[ooc: Hi back 42, long time no talked indeed...]

42 · « **Reply #16 on:** February 4, 2009, 10:14:54 AM »

(ooc I do ping you on msn occasionally. the one with the gun lol

I liked that jacket though. pinched it from a russian in the middle east"

Vespasian Swiper · « **Reply #17 on:** February 4, 2009, 11:32:33 AM »

The group set off down the corridor, after what seemed like hours the long straight corridor turned sharly left and there was sitting a small hobbit.

"Hmm... Hail Hobbit! What are you a hobbit of, war or peace?"

The hobbit stood up, "I'm Peace the Peace Hobbit of Peace."

Swiper grinned at 42, "What was that you were saying?"

42 · « **Reply #18 on:** February 5, 2009, 02:27:27 PM »

BANG BANG BANG.

"beslubbering hobbit."

Vespasian Swiper · « **Reply #19 on:** February 5, 2009, 02:51:43 PM »

Swiper spun round, "You fool... that was most likely our easiest way out... search the corpse 42 and show us what you find..."

ARMIES

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Author Topic: The Ulta-New-Adventures of the Spacktardis! (Read 12029 times)