Author Topic: Lost souls and complaints department (Read 9589 times)

Cortez · « **Reply #20 on:** January 27, 2009, 11:58:57 PM »

Um, i'm here to file a complaint against jawmonkey.
Can't find the quotes, but i wish to sue and kill for:
Assault, sexual assault, aggravated sickness used in assault, and very poor hygeine used in assault as well. Places occurred: Pink Daemonette, The, The above poster, Kill, The above persons avatar game, Insult.

Arch_inquisitor · « **Reply #21 on:** January 28, 2009, 12:21:24 AM »

WOW Mr. Shloeb have a seat between you and my other client I could issue a class action suit of truly stellar proportions on my hands.... but I shouldn't get ahead of my self.

Wait my secretary let you in.... oh well she's probably ticked at me for asking her to clean up after Mr. Jawmonkey.

Any way Mr. Shloeb now that I have your particulars I need to know one more thing, have you needed or felt you needed therapy as a direct result of these events?.

And where's my head, by all means have some coffee.

Cortez · « **Reply #22 on:** January 28, 2009, 12:25:15 AM »

No, i have never considered therapy. Anger management at least is handled by "violent video games".

The coffee is great. Brazilian?

jawmonkey · « **Reply #23 on:** January 28, 2009, 12:35:41 AM »

Okay, okay, here goes...
The Pink Daemonette tavern: c'mon man! the place was run by a follower of Slaneesh; I mean if something innapropriate didn't happen at a bar like that then it wouldn't be worth going to right? Besides someone else nuked the joint...

Kill the above poster: Just following rules, if I didn't follow rules, I wouldn't be following rules would I? (I'm so going to rip your face off and eat it Shloeb

)

Insult the above persons avatar: Well his choice in avy's sucks; I mean Bond is cool and all, but how does that compare to a "Shloeb"? Quit being a free bill board and get an avy with a "Shloeb"... gross.

I seem to have a knack for this; we should go into business Archie; I screw'em up and you fix'em!

Cortez · « **Reply #24 on:** January 28, 2009, 01:18:38 AM »

Well, just cos i went into the PInk Daemonette justto get a drink doesn't mean you can do parrot to me!

(Its a nickname by the way. What do you think i should change it to?)

Arch_inquisitor · « **Reply #25 on:** January 28, 2009, 01:21:01 AM »

Thats yet another idea Mr. Jawmonkey the 'tavern games healing and therapy center' why the hell did I saddle myself with this law office.

So Mr. Shloeb lets see no therapy... hmm thats okay you already have plenty of grievance against Mr. Jawmonkey who shall forthwith be referred to as the defendant. My standard retainer is 3 Ork teeth a day upon successful claim, please no orc teeth

Oh the coffee? um no miss daemonette brews a traditional slaanesh blend I am absolutely in love with it.

Cortez · « **Reply #26 on:** January 28, 2009, 01:24:21 AM »

Actually, i will withdraw my claims from the Kill poster and insult avatar threads, in exchange for mr. jawmonkey helping me choose a new name.

Slaaneshi eh? could use a hint of vanilla. Are you able to pass my comments on?

Arch_inquisitor · « **Reply #27 on:** January 28, 2009, 01:47:16 AM »

He's the Monkey God he comes and goes as he pleases.

Cortez · « **Reply #28 on:** January 28, 2009, 01:51:42 AM »

I meant pass my comments onto your receptionist about the coffee. A bit too bitter, so a little vanilla would work perfectly.

And to Mr. Jawmonkey, wherever he is, please consider my offer.

jawmonkey · « **Reply #29 on:** January 28, 2009, 07:49:53 PM »

I would have to know your interests and armies.

For example; If you were a machine that could revert a human to their infant form: the babe-a-nator.

Slaneesh, huh? first nick name that came to me was "The Log", but I take a different view on the Slaneesh-blessed...

Cortez · « **Reply #30 on:** January 28, 2009, 08:08:51 PM »

Armies above avvy.
I like Bond.
Happy?

Arch_inquisitor · « **Reply #31 on:** January 28, 2009, 08:20:17 PM »

Oh yeah! the coffee, right.... sorry I was filling out these application forms.

Um well if no one else has a case I'm going to file on Mr. Tauirs behalf and probably shut down the place after that. Still thinking about it.

Cortez · « **Reply #32 on:** January 28, 2009, 08:46:56 PM »

I haven't withdrawn my claim from the Pink Daemonette, Mr. Inquisitor. I have merely withdrawn several other cases in exchange for jawmonkey helping to find my new name.

Arch_inquisitor · « **Reply #33 on:** January 28, 2009, 09:03:14 PM »

Oh well Of course you are right Mr. Shloeb with all the chaos here and my own distraction I've over looked that, of course I'll file on your behalf as well before I shut down. Your claims are going to be what makes this case big for me, and I'll need that if I am to become a judge.

And I will pass the comments on the coffee to miss daemonette.

Wait does anyone know a good lawyer looking for a small law office in the warp.

jawmonkey · « **Reply #34 on:** January 28, 2009, 10:40:51 PM »

What the hell are the Komodo Knights? I mean I had a couple of those back in the day, but really it was an iguana and I'd rather not discuss much further in public...

Surely you can't be so shallow and uninteresting as armies and Bond are the only thing that separates you from the rest of humanity; c'mon man! I need some dirt!

Alright, at least answer 6 questions for me (yes, they're important damnit!);
1-What are the Komodo Knights?
2-what is your single, most-favorite figure equipped with?
3-Favorite Food?
4-Dakka o' Choppa?
5-General or Sergent?
6-Choose one: sex, drugs, power, late-model Imperial powered fist?

Cortez · « **Reply #35 on:** January 28, 2009, 11:05:42 PM »

Komodo Knights are my Sallies successor chapter.
My Captain with Power Weapon/Relic Blade and Jump Pack.
Chocolate. Preferably Dark.
I'm trying to use a balance at the moment.
Sergeant. more fun.
Power. I'm waiting till i'm married for the first, wouldn't dream of the second, fourth i can get with power anyway!

jawmonkey · « **Reply #36 on:** January 29, 2009, 05:34:43 PM »

Here's your options;
1-Sgt. Fisty-mander
2-The Black Manaconda (My personal favorite, and personal Pr0n stage name BTW)
3-Caligo Lacerto, Captain of the Komodo Knights

Caligo (Latin: to becloud, darken) Lacerto (Latin: lizard); personally I love Latin; I know, I know, 40k really uses high Gothic, but meh. Caligo because you like dark chocolate, as well as its forboding connotations. Lacerto because of your lizard-like SM, that and I could find no Latin word for dragon. Even if you don't like it, you can't tell me it doesn't sound more intimidating than "Shloeb: The Bond-Miester".

Tauir - "The Shadow" · « **Reply #37 on:** January 30, 2009, 10:03:36 PM »

Okay, let's file my case.

Linky?

Thalandir · « **Reply #38 on:** January 31, 2009, 02:30:17 AM »

Ok, I've just had an idea, but of course feel free to ignore it.

We could turn this into a sort of court-case type thing.

Someone would be appointed judge.

We could use a simplified version of the current court systems.

Both parties would have an arbiter (Arch_inquisitor would obviously be Tauir's arbiter, and jawmonkey would find someone to be his).

Both arbiters would question the defendant and 'victim', plus any witnesses.

Then the decision would be made by a jury of, say, 6 fellow taverners (I can already picture the 6 of them now, logging onto 40konline, opening a personal mesage with the title 'Jury Duty')

Evidence would be given in the form of quotes.

An appropriate punishment would be carried out against the defendant if found guility, say, if jawmonkey is found guilty we could get a mod to change his custom title to 'Tauir's Be-atch' for a month or so.

I dunno, it was just a cool thought that popped into my head. Feel free to ignore it.

~Thalandir

Arch_inquisitor · « **Reply #39 on:** January 31, 2009, 03:21:46 AM »

Well I was going to close to close up here and start a courthouse instead I was mulling it over as a running gag.

I was thinking more small scale though more a guided tavern game than anything. I am worried that sending PMs and such will mess with the boards and I want to avoid that.

And Mr. Tauir your case file is still pending as I am trying to file in a warp court house and it rarely appears in the same place each day, it is a laborious task when one is not an all powerful warp hell creature....... though I am a lawyer.

ARMIES

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Author Topic: Lost souls and complaints department (Read 9589 times)