The End of 7th Edition: A Narrative Battle ReportWell, Roboknee and I finally played our last game in the little mini-campaign we've been running for the last few months. I *was* going to write up my usual battle report with maps and tactical discussions and such, but given that 7th Edition is officially over and 8th Edition is so wildly different, I don't think there's a whole lot to be tactically gained by giving everybody a play-by-play. I do hate leaving things unfinished, though, so I'm going to write up a quick little thing to cap off the storyline and include some of the better photos. Think of this as a kind of elegy for a gloriously screwed up edition of our favorite game.
We played a 1750 point scenario called The Ritual (in the back of the Curse of Magnus). If I claimed all six objectives, the game ended and the Daemons blew up the ancient Eldar maiden world. If not, then the orks won and, weirdly, the Eldar would benefit (sneaky Eldar).
The ListsThe Daemon HostChaos Daemons Combined Arms DetachmentLv 3 Lord of Change w/Corpulescence, Staff of Change, the Paradox (Flickering Fire, Prismatic Gaze, Boon of Flame, Summoning), Warlord (Born of Sorcery)
11 Pink Horrors (Flickering Fire, Prismatic Gaze)
11 Pink Horrors (Flickering Fire, Boon of Flame)
12 Bloodletters
3 Flamers
3 Flamers
3 Flamers
6 Screamers
Skull Cannon
Burning Chariot
Burning Chariot
Heralds AnarchicLv 3 Herald w/Locus of Conjuration, the Everstave (Cursed Earth, Flickering Fire, Bolt of Change, Boon of Flame)
Lv 3 Herald w/Locus of Trickery, Grimoire of True Names (Flickering Fire, Firestorm, Prismatic Gaze, Summoning)
Lv 3 Herald w/Locus of Metamorphosis, Disc, Impossible Cloak (Flickering Fire, Firestorm, Bolt of Change, Prismatic Gaze)
About This ListI'm dropping 19 Warp Charge with this thing and my warlord harnesses on 3s--summoning is happening, folks. So are all those Prismatic Gazes--getting my Strength D in while it's still a thing.
Everything about this list is stupid, by the way. It has very little shooting, it can't assault worth much, it isn't very durable--all it has is the psychic phase. I would hasten to point out that, in 8th Edition, a pure Tzeentch list hasn't gotten much shootier or assaultier OR tougher and the psychic phase is vastly weaker so, yeah--this will be the last time you'll see something like this on the table.
The Ork Horde Ork Combined Arms DetachmentWarboss w/Lucky Stix, Big Choppa, sundry other gubbins
Big Mek on a Bike
15 Shoota Boyz w/Nob, Choppa/Bosspole
15 Shoota Boyz w/Nob, Choppa/Bosspole
5 Deffkoptas w/Rokkits
5 Deffkoptas w/Rokkits
10 Lootas
6 Killa Kans w/Rokkits
Deff Dred w/ 3x Klaws, Grot Riggers, Big Shoota
Pile on the Pain FormationPainboy
10 Nobz w/ TL Shootas, 1x Big Choppa
15 Shoota Boyz w/Nob, Big Choppa, Bosspole
Deff Dredd w/ 3x Klaws, 1 x Big Shoota
About This ListThis is a reasonable, balanced Ork list. This is part of the reason we never saw much in the way of orks in 7th Edition, because everything about 7th Army List Building was unreasonable (unless you didn't want it to be). I would argue that these mobz are a bit small (if you aren't taking at least 20 boys, take 12 and put them in a trukk), but nothing terribly amiss here. The Kans and Dreads are things my army typically has difficulty with, since all of my antitank is unreliable (just like everything else).
DeploymentAs the campaign called for this battle to be had atop a mountain, there was a massive mountain in the middle of the table. Table was separated into thirds the long way (short board edges were ours). Two objectives in my DZ, two in No Man's Land, and two in the ork DZ. Each turn I claim an objective, it goes away and I get +1 Warp Charge per turn. If I claim all 6 before the end of the game, I win. If I don't, I lose.
We drop out mobs like this:
DaemonsOrksWhole table from my endFrom the orks' sideTurns 1-2The orks go first and wipe out a chariot and Bloodletters in short order with the koptas (Yhwh-condemned, do those chariots suck). But then the psychic tsunami hits. The dead chariot gets summoned right back again. Both Deff Dreads get blown up to Prismatic Gazes on the same turn. One group of koptas runs for its life, the other group gets locked in combat with the Screamers and Disc Herald for the rest of the game. I claim 3 of 6 objectives in quick succession.
Down one Chariot, one group of BloodlettersThe Skull Cannon shells the Nobs, instakilling a fewTurns 3-4Flamers start raining from the sky, but mostly land where they aren't supposed to. Well, until I get Mirror Step on the Warp Storm Table and then they pop right back to where they belong. The Lord of Change flies high over the battlefield, obliterating whole units with scads of rainbow fire. Orks are mutating right and left, failing a lot of Warpflame tests (glad those will be gone) and burning alive with Soul Blaze (soooo glad that is gone, stupid thing). My remaining chariot gets crazy lucky by blasting apart two of four kanz with two lucky Pink Fire shots. In repsonse, the Lootas struggle to do much damage--my opponent's dice are just not with him.
Picture bubbling pools of Ork all around himA lucky (?) Nob survives a torrent of warpfireAnother lone nobTurns 5-6The Orks pretty much fall apart here. The Kans manage to lock my Lord of Change in combat, but can't bring him down. And still the gales of Flickering Fire fall on the largely defenseless orks. The Painboy + Big Mek + Warboss + Nobz had been holding the top of the mountain all game, but had been mutated to the point where there was only the Warboss, painboy, and nob back-to-back, sitting on a 3+ Feel No Pain thanks to repeated mutations. I'd claimed the back two objective and only one remained--the one the Warboss was standing on. As the last nob died, I moved one unit of horrors within 3" of him. Objective Secured got me the objective and the game ended.
Tussling with Big BirdDefiant last standWarboss surroundedCodaThe sky split above Warboss Bloodgrin--the lastest and the fastest and the baddest Warboss on the whole planet. Atop the highest mountain (his mountain, understand, as it was the tallest), he looked down on a scene his orky intellect could only partially make sense of. His boyz--his whole warband--had been reduced to burning, liquified flesh, bubbling with eyeballs and tentacles. Over this mess squirmed and skipped and floated more of those weedy demon gitz, their feathery tentatcles tickling the ground, their laughter filling the air, fit to drown out the music of gunfire.
Come to think of it, why did them Loota gitz stop shooting? He looked over--oh, they were goo, too. They were burning in pools of bubbling rainbow flesh. Soon, Bloodgrin knew, his turn would be next. But he'd take a few of the amphetamine parrots down with him, if he could. "COME AND GET IT!" he roared, switching his shoota from "auto" to "super-duper auto" and firing off a sustained burst at a fishy-looking chariot. Nothing happened. Did he miss? Where'd the bullets go?
He liked fighting those blood-god gits better. At least that had been fun.
The warped remnants of a kan flew over his head, exploding into rainbow fire as it did so. That big bird-thing was on the ground, swinging around its big staff. Everything it hit vanished in a puff of flame and tentacles.
The daemons closed in around them. Bloodgrin smiled and planted his feet, forgetting entirely about the glowing rune between his boots. He fired indiscriminately. "GET SOME! GET SOME! AND YOU GET SOME! WAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!"
He kicked one of his nobs. "Oi, Bargle! Guns up, you weedy amphetamine parrot!"
But Bargle wasn't Bargle anymore--he was just a mass of writhing tentacles that collapsed as it fell over. "PAINBOY!" he shouted.
Bone-tinker the painboy was ecstatic to have another patient. He sawed at the dissolving pile of goo and tentacles, heedless of the tightening ring of writhing chaos all about him. "I'll fix him right up, boss! Right up!"
Bloodgrin's gun went dry. "MEK!"
But there was no mek. No ammo runts, either. Nobody but him and old Bone-tinker. "ORKS IS NEVER LOSERS, CUZ WE'LL BE BACK, UNNERSTAND? WE'LL BE--"
And just then some weedy little pink thing touched that glowing rune with its skinny little fingers.
The rest was a light too bright for Bloodgrin to see. He didn't need to. He knew death well enough to know it anywhere.
#
In high orbit, the Ork fleet watched the pretty blue planet crack in two, vomiting it's planet-y guts into space. A huge, violet wave of psychic energy blazed through the ships, obliterating half the ork vessels in the blink of an eye. The other half withdrew reluctantly, their captins debating their own survival against a front-row seat to the biggest explosion anybody had ever heard of.
Those that elected to stay, died. But they had a good time doing it.
Those that left saw that what had once been the pretty planet was now part of a bloody scar that stretched across the entire galaxy. A sign of favor from the Ork god, Gork--a grin as wide as the expanse of space itself. The orks took it as an omen and, as they always did, prepared for yet another war against foes unknown.
It was a good day.
