I'd
rather go to Hell. It's not as bad as people make out. There are good promotional prospects there if you got the right attitude. Just put up with a few centuries of torture and take it like a man, get the attention of one of the important Demons and he might just start you off on the promotion ladder. It'll be hard grunt work at first, like shovelling dog-turds into the mouths of the Gluttons, or putting sandpaper in condoms for the Adulterer section, but show good effort and initiative and you'll prosper. Bam - before you know it you'll own a condo with a lovely view over the great fiery lake, where you can chill out by the sulphur beaches in a demon-bile jacuzzi with endless tequila shots and a gaggle of giggling Succubi. Oh yeah baby, love is infernal.
The Bible and clergy will tell you it ain't so, but don't listen to
them. What do they know, eh? Their view of paradise is just sprouting wings and sitting on clouds. Oh wow. How can I contain my exitement.
Please, all the players go to Hell, and that's a fact - it's just one big party down there. Painful though, of course. Painful, but fun!
I got to thinking that as I am an aetheist and this one really religious guy at school says I'm going to hell because I don't believe in God.
Just tell him you look forwards to it. Tell him you're exited at the prospect of meeting Gandhi in person.
