Topic: 1850 pt assault orientated

[Asmodeus22]

Hey guys,
I decided after flipping through the SM codex that it would be pretty fun to create an army using the traits and such.  After creating some fluff and a short story to edge out the characters of my chapter; I decided that I actually really wanted to play this new army and thus created an army list to go with it that I thought would represent the fluff that I created.  Sadly in order to do this I had to scrap my efforts at a Space Wolves army, but if 40k has taught me anything it is that money is not an object.   I will detail the fluff after the army list for those of you who don't care but to critique my list, which is the main reason for my post.

Tempest Space Marines
Noteable divergence- zealous
Advantages
Blessed be the Warrior- assault squads as elite b but must take furious charge
Bring the Fight to Them- Anyone armed with a bolter may exchange for a bolt pistol and close combat weapon
Disadvantage
Eye to Eye- May only take 0-1 selection from land speeders and bikes.

HQ
-Captain
Power Weapon
Master Crafted (power weapon)
Plasma Pistol
Iron Halo
-130 pts

-Command Squad (Captain will join)
Nine marines total
Veteran Sergeant
Standard
Company Champion
Furious Charge
Frag Grenades
power weapon
melta gun
All others use bolt pistol and close combat weapon
Mounted in Rhino with extra armor
-306 points

-Master of Sanctity
Plasma Pistol
Jump Pack
-135

HQ total-571  pts (ouch)

Troops
-Tactical Squad
six man (including veteran sergeant)
power weapon
frag grenades
melta gun
All troops have exchanged their bolters for bolt pistols and close combat weapons.-As this is one of my traits
Razorback with extra armor, Razorback has heavy bolter setup.
-206 pts

-Tactical Squad
six man (including veteran sergeant)
power weapon
frag grenades
melta gun
All troops have exchanged their bolters for bolt pistols and close combat weapons.-As this is one of my traits
Razorback with extra armor, Razorback has heavy bolter setup.
-206 pts

Troop total- 412

Elites
-Assault marines
10 man squad (including veteran sergeant)
two plasma pistols
thunder hammer
Furious charge (trait advantage, must also take furious charge...darn..)
-302 pts

-Assault marines
10 man squad (including veteran sergeant) *Chaplin will be added to this squad
two plasma pistols
power weapon
Furious charge (trait advantage, must also take furious charge...darn..)
-282 pts

-Venerable Dreadnaught
Assault cannon
Extra armor
search light
smoke launchers
-136

Elites total- 720

Heavy Support
-Predator Annihilator
Heavy Bolter sponsons
extra armor
search light
-146

Heavy Support total- 146

Total: 1849

My thoughts for the list where to drop the huge points cost of the command squad and perhaps add some scouts or something.  I am really looking for feedback on the army list but feel free to comment on the fluff as well. 

The Look:  Their armor is chaos black, shoulder pads are ringed with blood red as are their helmets.  Emblem is that of a red supernova, the one found on the assault marines decal sheet.
The Fluff:  The Tempest space marines where founded in the second founding, however; their gene seed progenitor remains a mystery.  Many believe that they where founded from the contemporary Raven Guard chapter shortly before the Tyrannic wars ravaged the Maccarage system.  The Tempest space marines are said to call a large remnant of a space hulk known as Ebon Stand to be their home and center base of operations such as the roving fortress monasteries, this though is in question; as is recruitment populace for the chapter.  Little is known about the Tempest space marines and any attempt by the inquisition to discover there origins has seemed inconclusive, and only the chapter?s elites seem to  know  their true origins.  What is known is that the events on Lexonium Prime have proven the chapter?s merit and integrity as a valuable resource to the Imperium; although many of the chapters great companies where completely wiped out and have not seemed to replenish themselves as of yet.  Lexonium Prime seems to have forged the chapter into a unique fighting force designed for close quarter fighting and dependency on Assault Marine tactics.
-There is more but it goes into what exactly happened on Lexonium Prime, and is more or less forming into a short story  so, mildly inappropriate for this forum message me if you want more.
Thanx
-Asmo

[Wuestenfux]

Well, two HQ's in 1850 pts are okay.
However, the first one mounted in a Rhino will hardly get the furious charge bonus. By the way, the HQ leading a Command squad w/ furious charge can get furious charge as well! Keep this squad and play a couple of games to see if furious charge is worth it.

Tactical squads in Razorbacks outfitted for cc are a bit questionable as they are too small. Give each Razorback squad a melta or plasma gun and drop the Vet Serg upgrade.

Give one thunder hammer to the Vet Serg of the first Assault squad, one thunder hammer per army is sufficient.

Even numbered squads work better vs. VP's. This holds for the 2nd Assaults squad and the Command squad (where the leading HQ counts separately).

The Predator Annihilator is a bit pricey, it costs 150 pts I guess.

[Asmodeus22]

OK,
I will see what I can do this weekend.  To clarify though, drop both veterans in the tactical squads and switch thunder hammer to first assault squad.  I will see if I can negotiate the points to actually get another tactical squad instead of the pred.  Perhaps a full ten man in a rhino or something.  Let me see what I can do, yes I am staying as far away from land raiders as possible.
-Asmo

[Asmodeus22]

Well thanks Wuest...was hoping for some more feedback though from other peeps as well.  Ok I managed to fix some things and give my tactical squads a little more mmff.  Dropping the thunger hammer and replacing them with power weapons seemed the better idea, and also added a melta gun to each of these squads.  As for the command squad I made a rough discision to drop the apothecary, as far as vps go yes I will regret this decision but as far as kill pottential for the squad..Had to drop him.  Boosted the 9 man assault squad to 10 and dropped the power fist for power weapon and added a thunder hammer to the second assault squad.  Changed the sponsons on the annihalator to heavy bolters and gave my commander a master crafted power weapon to improve his close combat potential.
-Asmo