Topic: Guys & Girls Thread - 2003 - 2010

[Eldanesh]

Alright, back by popular demand for 2003 - The return of the infamous Girls thread. More than a few people have asked for a return of the topic so here it is.

Now, to avoid this topic from devolving into a juvenile rant forum and to help keep it as a resource for people with something worthwhile to post lets all agree to a few rules here.

1. Keep to the topic Nothing gets old faster and dilutes the purpose of this topic more than these asides about non-issues. This is basically what killed the old thread, so keep on subject OK?

2. Blatant 'flame' posts will be deleted I'll be the Mod for this topic and I think I'm pretty fair, but I'll simply delete blatantly abusive posts to keep this thread 'helpful' to all. We all get pretty impassioned about what we believe in these regards, just think before you type.

3. Open to all One thing that drove off posters (especially females) from this thread before was the notion that it was 'for guys, about girls'. To be honest I think the discussion got more than a little 'inbred' because of this and the sparse participation of the female perspective. I am herby encouraging female participation in the thread to broaden the veiw.

4. People can be wrong 90% of the posts from the old threads were from 14 to 18 year old males. Obviously this makes for a great lack of experience in male/female relations, and therefore accounts for a certain amount of naivete in ideals. Older posters should always take this into consideration before you post. On the reverse side of this, younger posters need to also understand that at 15 they too are subject to a great deal of 'mis/disinformation'. Therefore don't be so quick to disregard the advice of the older posters here. Keep an open mind.

5. Relate what you experience One of the strengths of the old thread was the 'field reports' certain members would check in with on a weekly basis. This is an excellent way to learn from each other and ought to be encouraged. If you have a problem, if you have a question, if you have a rant about what you're experiencing with regards to guys or girls (or family matters too BTW) post it here for advice or maybe just clarification or a new perspective that you may not have thought about otherwise.

6. This isn't therapy No one to my knowledge on 40KO has their doctorate in psychology, so take this advice for what it is, 'advice'. No one is telling you what to do - you need to decide that for yourself with regards to your own set of circumstances. This isn't group therapy or some kind of 'cry session'. Everything offered here should be positive and intended to build others up, not tear them down. However, be aware that some instances might require a good 'kick in the ass' to make a positive point.

So there you have it - Lets get this topic underway. Guys and Girls post your ideas.

678

Edit - A New Year means a date change in the subject line. Again. - Rummy.

[Jester]

Ah, just thought i'd give a quick update over x-mas...

The G'f and i worked pretty much everything out - the fact we have to work on the physical side of our relationship a little, as we're very differnt that way, but other than that, all the emotional issues we worked out. Special thanks goes out to Eldanesh and Wiggus for helping me see when a foot has to be put down and for giving me a great recipe respectily.

btw, they work VERY well in tandum =)

I'll let everyone know how this little holiday works out in the end, though i have a postive outlook on the whole ordeal, - a few fiasco's, well one major one, which i won't get into unless it esclates due to the fact i think it's pretty under control.

merry x-mas all =)

[Zeus]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have gathered from the Girls thread that many an EO member wish to have a female friend but do not know how.

Here are some tips right out of Zeus's book.

1. Looks dont matter that much but CONFIDENCE DOES, that is the key, confidence.

2. Attracting women is not like philosophy, it is not logical in that sense, think of nature, for after all we are animals.

3. Humour is a key (and i dont mean Spok and a Klingon walk into a bar)

4. ALWAYS take the initiative. Do not wait for a woman to come after you, you be decisive. IE have her give you her number.

5. Dont be afraid to touch women (as long as you arent groping like a stalker) but playful touching and using touching to enforce points being made is 100x helpful to you.

6. Learn to be a good conversationalist. This means listen more then you talk, and dont make blind statements, but ask questions (ie who , what , when , where, why)

7. Learn to watch body language (if she has open posture to you, you are doing a good job, if she is turned away from you , you arent)

8. Dont be too available

My hands are getting tired so im  gonna stop, but feel free to voice your ideas or ask questions.

I credit www.sosuave.com for changing my life with the ladies


GRR I LIKED MY THREAD ELDANESH! YOU DARN THREAD STEALER :/ (Note: please dont kill me)

[The Mighty Brain]

When I last commented on the topic of girls I had just met a girl whilst doing my laundry and had expressed all the things Zeus mentioned
  but not physcial touch, I hardly knew the girl and she'd beat me off as some kind of pervert
--"oooooh, female!".  

And I hit it off brilliantly and got her number.

I went out with her once and she kissed my face off when I met her (always good) and then afterwards I got nothing back and she seems to have buried herself in her university course instead and doesn't go out -BORING!

It's quite shocking that 3/4 of university students stay at home with parents or sit in their rented accomodation and don't go out. EVER

Since then nothing. But often it's a case of the right person in the right place at the right time.
Besides, you have until you're 30 to worry about this crap.

I ignored Eldanesh's advice and stayed friends with Katherine. We worked everything out and we're good friends but nothing more. I've learnt a lot about girls from her actually. But the trick is not to ask. Often a female friend will let slip an important fact here or there. Soo I recommend female friends as a source of information gathering. But totally switch off when they start going on about their boyfriends.....or do what I do, but saying "BORING!" loudly. They get the message then

Katherine got me a great Xmas present. a mug that reads "I have nothing to declare except my genius"
She knows me too well  

[Wiggus]

my G/F got me a pressie like that once T-shirt that reads 'i know im not perfect but im so damn close it scares me' she knows me kinda well  

[klardom]

Great, i've been lured into the off-topic section once again.

The 4th incarnation of the infamous girls thread.  Didn't we get up to over 1500 posts on the other one?  

Anyways, I'll just give a little input about things I've learned over the past few months...

Girls arn't complicated, they just like you to think they are.  Most people will disagree, but it's true.  Girls, the same holds true with guys.  Involving girls in my corner of the universe these days, I've found that they like to keep you more or less confused, it's an advantage to them.  The solution?  You confuse them.  Now alot of people probably won't want or like to do this, but if you keep a sort of aura of mystery about yourself, it can work to your benefit.  Girls like to analyze, over, and over, and over, so give them somehting to analyze.  Let them try and figure you out from little hints you drop, etc.  It's quite alot of fun, and certainly is better then walking out and saying "THIS IS EXACTLY WHO AND WHAT I AM."  That's soo incredibly boring, espeically for more intellectual people who enjoy trying to figure out others.

I agree with pretty much all the stuff that Zeus said...especially the first.  Confidence is the key.  Most girls do not want a timid, insecure guy.

On getting dumped into the "friends" category.  DOn't do it if you ever think you might ever want any sort of relationship with the girl.  Otherwise, why not?  I currently have an excellent female friend.  Now granted, she is incredibly mature and so didn't attempt to emotional spoungefy me, like most girls would, but I think it's a rather good thing.  She lives no-where near me, and so doesn't deal internally with my circle of friends, and she's quite a good source of advice on many things.  But once again, if you want to have a relationship, avoid at all costs being a 'friend', this will, in almost all cases, prevent you from ever being with the girl on another level.

And a rather negative viewpoint on high-school that will probably rock someone's boat.  High school relationships don't matter.  They're most likely not going to last, you're not going to spend the rest your life with the person, and they're nothing to get all upset about.  Have fun with them (note: this does not mean knocking up the maximum possible girls in high school...big difference)  High school isn't the end of the world, it's only the beginning.  Use it to gain experience for going out into the world, and enjoy yourself.  Don't get completely caught up with someone because "you're in love" (trust me, you're probably not, you just think you are) and dedicate your life to them.  Chances are you'll barely remember the person 5 years from now.

My two cents.

[Wiggus]

funny cause my G/F is  and was one of my best friends i think what you meant is dont get involved with a friend if you dont want to risk loosing the friendship

[Zeus]

As said above, the point about high school relationships not mattering is true.

Use highschool to gain experience ( especially sexually ) so when the time does come , you will be ready for any woman you come across.

[Iolar]

Indeed, I don't even know where most of the guys I knew or dated in high school *are* anymore.

On the subject of guy 'friends': I've known several guys that I just considered to be friends, mainly from college, and some of them are still just friends. But you know, people change, and feelings do too, unless you're so inflexible and unforgiving that you're never going to personally mature past the age of 18.

A lot of the guys that were just 'friends' I became really, physically, attracted to after I had known them for a while, sometimes years. You never know when one of those girl 'friends' might be interested in something more.

On a related note, a guy 'friend' of mine, from college came down to visit last week. He hasn't changed a bit since 1987, and it was kind of disappointing visit. So I guess I have. This guy is so unbending in his ways, it's just axasperating. I understand the value of traditional ways in the south, but times *do* change. There was a time when I would have gladly hopped in bed with this guy, when he was training to be a professional wrestler and was quite a hunk.

*sigh*

Ah well. I suppose there are still fish left in the sea for a geezerette like me.

[klardom]

funny cause my G/F is  and was one of my best friends i think what you meant is dont get involved with a friend if you dont want to risk loosing the friendship

I suppose it really depends on what you consider a friend.  Of course you must get to know the person, and be 'friends' with them before you start dating.  At least in high school.  And granted, there are definilty exceptions, but on a general basis being long time friends with a girl can do something to your chances of getting involved with you.

 And yes that is also true, if you don't want to risk loosing your friendship then don't get involved.  

And of course people do change over time, that's probably one of the main reasons why high school relationships never last.  And yes again, you never know when that female friend may want something more, but I was speaking on a strictly general basis once again.  Normally they won't be looking for something more with a longtime friend.

[Wiggus]

well she actually met me when i was 14 making here 12 so i wasnt interested (going for the older woman) but then i stopped seeing her for a few years then we were friends for 2/3 years then we got together but i spose it dont always happen thsi way

[Vaelyn]

  You have until you're 30 to figure this stuff out?  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OLOLOLOLOL...

 Guess I'm WAYYYYYY behind the curve.  I'm still trying to figure it out.   Long after 30.

  Pathetic, huh?  

[Kei'Ariq]

Indeed, I don't even know where most of the guys I knew or dated in high school *are* anymore.

I experienced recently an even more extreme situation, where I couldn't remember *who* the girls I dated in high school were! There was one in particular, who I could only remember had a name starting with A. Yep, that was definitely an earth-shakingly important relationship.

Eldie, perhaps you should post your rules on the first page, unless you like Zeus' ones just as much. Which somehow I doubt, as it misses particularly a certain rule about friends...

[Ilfirin Noore]

Ah a new thread! Hopefully this shall last and last with style and quality!

That site suggested by zeus is really pretty good.

[Zeus]

As for confidence (the key) , ive found a good way to attain it is by lifting and doing martial arts.

Ive been lifting for 4 years and martial arts for 3 and i can tell you thers not a thing that could hurt my confidence.

So, not only will you look better, lose some weight(or gain it if your a skinny kid), you will feel better , and be able to protect yourself.

Women like a nice body on a guy

[The Mighty Brain]

of course, but you can be confident without all of that.
I find "The power of Beer" helps confidence.

But being in shape certainly helps.
They won't go for you if your flabby man breasts are bigger than theirs  

[Scars]

of course, but you can be confident without all of that.
I find "The power of Beer" helps confidence.

But being in shape certainly helps.
They won't go for you if your flabby man breasts are bigger than theirs  

the power of the beer is strong with this one.......

And yes, they don't go for guys with bigger breasts than them; they feel inadequate!

And I would like to say that this thread is getting really really old. It is just a matter of time before guys start bragging about the size of their dicks.

[The Mighty Brain]

I'll start doing more Life of Brain field reports when I'm back at uni.

[Blood Archon]

Brain- welcome back, seems you couldn't drag yourself away from us forever. It is true, the beer power is strong with brain (especially curry).

Well it is good that some of the old people are back here.

ANYWAY.

Right now I'm going out with this girl, only done it a few times, and spread over periods (I am never "too available") of time of about two weeks or so. Of course, then Christmas break hits. amphetamine parrot. I haven't seen her for QUITE a while, like two weeks, and I am currently short on ideas for a date, she is short on time (typical). And yeah, if you try to act confident, it works miracles (hate to express it that way). Oh yeah. Find out if/where she is ticklish  

that gets you bonus points on both radars, yours and hers.

-BA

P.S.- SCARS: that already happened on the 2nd incarnation.

[The Mighty Brain]

the ticklish thing is fun and works....but if they're not ticklish you instantly make yourself look a complete arse and they lose confidence in you.

It's a rare chance that they're not ticklish...but sometimes it's not a chance you should take.